Full Episode
Kindergarten's back, and it's weirder than heck! With teachers on pills and a lab on deck, kids getting tested like rats in a maze, and a nugget cult chanting in barbecue haze! It sparks some weird questions, absurd and profound. Like, could chicken nuggets break you or fall to the ground? And what's with that janitor who's mopping up gore? With whispers and rumors that hint at strange lore.
But none of those riddles stuck deep in my brain, like one that's both stupid and slightly insane. In Kindergarten 3, when logic heads south, how many kids fit in an alligator's mouth?
Hello Internet! Welcome to Game Theory, the show that knows an apple a day will keep the smoking, definitely a real nurse, away. Just like we've been kept away from our favourite murderous kindergarten game for far too long. No, not you! I'm talking about the pixelated comedy gold with gratuitous violence that is Kindergarten 3.
In fact, it's been so long, you could have had your own kid and had them finish Kindergarten while waiting for this sequel. But despite the tardiness, Kindergarten is still top of the class.
We still play as an unnamed protagonist whose goal is to survive yet another death-filled day at Kindergarten, reliving the same day over and over again until we start to piece together the ever-expanding mystery happening underneath these scores. But the magic of Kindergarten has never been about the story. It's about the characters.
And many of our favorite staff and students are back once again for Kindergarten 3. Like Monty, the genius entrepreneur who, due to a series of accidents, now has robotic legs. Huh, maybe that's where the mimic got them from. Or there's the janitor who has a fondness for stabbing children, mostly Monty.
And of course, who could forget dear Nugget, who now adds eating radioactive goo to his list of obsessions. Nugget requires more goo.
Baby daddy has the goo.
Ash, please. This is a kindergarten full of monsters and murder. Anyway, with Kindergarten 3 taking place in yet another good-for-nothing kindergarten, we are also treated to a bunch of new, colorful characters. There's Miss Lovelet, the theater teacher who insists her students fully embrace their roles, death and all. There's Emmy with her bloodthirsty vegetable patch.
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