Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST
Episodes
It's OK to Hate the Holidays: Coping Skills for Gay Men
19 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Holidays can intensify loneliness, family tension, and emotional stress for many gay men. Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why it's OK to hat...
Gay Men and Non-Monetary Wealth: Redefining What It Means to Feel Rich
18 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What if real wealth isn't about money? In this episode, I explore the non-monetary wealth many gay men build over a lifetime—relationships, culture,...
Why Gay Men Can't Stop Scrolling: The Real Reasons Behind Compulsive Phone Use
09 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Why gay men struggle with compulsive phone use -- and how anxiety, comparison, and validation loops fuel it. Learn tools to heal and reconnect with re...
Gay Men and Wicked: For Good
19 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gay men's specialist therapist, discusses the new movie, "Wicked: For Good" and its implications for gay men, in themes about s...
Gay Men and Psychiatric Medications: Functions, Fears, and Facts
08 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Many gay men fear psychiatric meds. Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains how the right medication can restore—not change—who you are, separating facts ...
Why Mid-Life Gay Men Still Use Hookup Apps — and What That Really Means
02 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Mid-life gay men still use apps like Grindr or Scruff; not just for sex, but for social connection, validation, and visibility. Gay therapist Ken Ho...
Are All Marines Gay Bottoms? Military Myths in Gay Culture
13 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Why do gay men joke that "the Navy's the gayest branch" or "all Marines are bottoms"? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how these myth...
Gay Men and Post-Nut Clarity: What It Really Means
13 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
"Post-nut clarity" isn't just a meme — it reflects real neurobiological and psychological shifts that affect how gay men experience sex, emotion, an...
Yom Kippur and Gay Men: Finding Meaning in Reflection, Atonement, and Renewal
28 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how Yom Kippur's themes of reflection, apology, forgiveness, and renewal resonate for gay men. A secular take on the J...
Toxic Gay Currencies: How to Avoid the Attention, Sex, and Status Traps
17 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Too often, gay men trade in "toxic currencies" like attention, sex, money, status, drama, and jealousy. They feel powerful in the moment but drain us ...
From Obama to Trump: Understanding the Whiplash in American Politics Through the Lens of Minority Stress and Gay Men's Mental Health
04 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, unpacks the political whiplash from Obama to Trump and its impact on gay men's mental health—exploring minority stress, cultu...
Gay Men Healing from Trauma: Why Substance Matters More Than Hype
26 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why lasting trauma recovery for gay men comes from evidence-based approaches like CBT and Narrative Therapy—not tre...
When "Non-Affirming" Therapists Keep LGBTQ+ Clients for the Money: An Ethical Failure with Real Consequences
18 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Some therapists claim to be "welcoming to all" while secretly holding non-affirming values about LGBTQ+ identity and gay men's issues such as sexualit...
Gay Men and The Cinderella Syndrome: From Outcast to Adonis
25 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores "The Cinderella Syndrome" in gay men—the rise from rejection to confidence, and what happens when the glow-up fades....
Gay Men as Adult Children of Alcoholics - How the Past Talks in the Present
21 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Do you struggle with control, fear of abandonment, or always expect the worst? You might be a gay Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACA). In this episode, ...
Gay Widowers: Navigating Loss, Identity, and Rebirth
19 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Losing a partner is devastating—especially for gay men, whose grief is often marginalized. In this episode, gay men's specialist psychotherapist Ken...
Radical Erotic Aging: Gay Men, Desire, and the Audacity to Stay Sexy
08 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Aging as a gay man can feel like becoming invisible—but it doesn't have to. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, shares insights from 30+ years o...
Gilligan's Island & The Seven Deadly Sins: What a 60s Sitcom Can Teach Gay Men
24 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What if Gilligan's Island was more than a goofy sitcom? What if it was a mirror for gay men's internal struggles with shame, identity, and survival? T...
Gay Men Overcoming Unconscious Barriers to Success
19 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What holds us back from achieving our full potential? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores the unconscious barriers many gay men face—lik...
Gay Men and Understanding Personality Traits: The OCEAN Model
11 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Discover how the Big Five OCEAN personality traits—Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism—can help gay men ...
Flash vs. Substance: Pop Psychology Gurus vs. Real Clinicians
24 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Tired of flashy social media gurus? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, breaks down the difference between pop psych soundbites and real therapy t...
Gay Men and Coping with the Forms of Betrayal
19 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I explore the many ways gay men experience betrayal—in relationships, friendships, family, and professional life—and how we can h...
Positive Masculinity for Gay Men in a Changing World
28 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Ken explores how gay men can reclaim positive masculinity—balancing strength, emotional intelligence, and authenticity amid today's...
The Success Principles for Gay Men: What We Can Learn from Jack Canfield
17 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Gay men's specialist psychotherapist and coach Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, breaks down Jack Canfield's The Success Principles through a queer lens, showing...
White Lotus and Gay Men's Fantasies - The Teasing Taboo of Pop Culture
31 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores The White Lotus Season 3's buzzed-about gay incest story line, why taboo fantasies intrigue gay men, and ho...
The Healthcare Hustle: What Gay Men Need to Know
20 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Navigating healthcare as a gay man isn't just about checkups—it's about self-advocacy, access, and fighting systemic bias. In this episode, I br...
Legal Essentials for Gay Men: Protecting Your Future
27 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Too many gay men delay vital legal planning—until it's too late. In this episode, Ken covers key protections like wills, medical directives, and fin...
When You Know You're Ugly: A Guide for Gay Men Coping with Physical Unattractiveness
14 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In a society where "pretty privilege" often dictates social dynamics, many gay men confront the challenge of not fitting conventional beauty standards...
Gay Men and Therapy Support for a Legal Case
04 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses the often-overlooked role of therapy in supporting gay men through legal battles. From workplace discrimination to hate crimes, gay ...
Interview of Host Ken Howard, LCSW, CST on the History of Gay Men's Therapy and His Career
21 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
GayTherapyLA Podcast producer, Austen Weinhart, interviews host Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, on the history of Gay Men's Therapy and his own career path ove...
Gay Executive Coaching and The Dark Side of Ambition: Navigating Toxic Competition in the Workplace
14 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This episode discusses the unique challenges gay men face in competitive professional environments. It explores how toxic competition, workplace biase...
Gay Men and the Lessons Learned from 'Wicked'
07 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Gay men's specialist therapist and life coach Ken Howard, LCSW, CST discusses the new musical movie, "Wicked," and the lessons gay men can learn from ...
Therapy, Coaching, Psychiatry, and Medicine - Let's Stop the Misinformation, Shall We?
14 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken exposes the myths around therapy, life coaching, psychiaty, and medicine, and how to understand and access these services.
Gay Men and Trump 2.0 - Coping with Anxiety
26 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives tips on how to cope with anxiety over the re-election of Trump and its implications for LGBT+ and gay rights, discussed in an historical con...
Gay Men as Caregivers for Aging Parents
14 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives tips when gay men act as caregivers for aging parents, discussing navigating family history, conflicts, work/life balance, emotional ambival...
Special Bonus Episode: In Defense of Hate: Understanding the Modern American Conservative
29 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this re-reading of his November 2, 2016 blog article, Ken revisits an analysis of the Modern American Conservative, Republican/Trump Supporters, on...
Gay Men and the Need for Attention: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Narcissism
29 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses gay men and the need for attention; healthy vs. unhealthy narcissism; inclusion and exclusion from gay groups; and practical tips for me...
Managing Symptoms in Gay Men's Mental Health: A Path to Empowerment
15 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken teaches about the TFID (Type, Frequency, Intensity, Duration) model for managing mental health challenges for gay men such as depression, anxiety,...
Netflix's "Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story" – Gay Psychotherapist on Healing for Gay Male Survivors of Sexual Trauma
23 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses Netflix's "Monster: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story" and its themes of notoriety, abuse, and healing, and applies these in the context ...
Gay Men Open Relationship Ground Rules: Who What When Where Why
20 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken provides education on how gay male relationships (couples or polycules) can establish ground rules agreements for Consensual Non-Monogamy using th...
Support for Gay Men Leaving Religion: Reclaiming Your Identity with Secular Alternatives
04 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken teaches about supporting gay men leaving religion and reclaiming their identity with secular alternatives, free of religious abuse and embracing s...
How to Survive Election Season 2024: Coping with Election Anxiety
08 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives tips and "modules" for coping with election anxiety in this 2024 election season, and how to cope with anxiety symptoms, increase self-empow...
Episode 152: Gay Men and Internal Family Systems: The Different Parts of You
22 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken describes how IFS, Internal Family Systems, a model of evidence-based psychotherapy, can apply to gay men to help you integrate the different part...
Episode 151: Gay Men's Dating: What Your Dates Aren't Telling You
03 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives tips for gay men's dating on what gay men complain about their dates to their therapist or their friends, and what to do about them.
Episode 150: Gay Men's Relationships: When You Want Kids and He Doesn't
11 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives guidance on how gay men in relationships can discuss whether to have kids, and their options for doing so.
Episode 149: Confronting Religious Moralism in Therapy for Gay Men
21 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses the subtle and insidious ways that religious moralism undermines professional mental health services delivery (psychotherapy) for the br...
Episode 148: How to Get Your Financial Life Together: A Guide for Gay Men
28 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken reviews the psychological, clinical dynamics of money management, planning aspects of your financial life, and how to talk to the people in your l...
Episode 147: Gay Men and How to Recover from a Breakup
05 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Based on his 32 years as a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, sex therapist, and coach, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST gives 21 tips for gay men and how to ...
Episode 146: Gay Men and Starting Your Own Business
22 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives guidance on gay men and starting your own business, based on his own experience owning a business for over 25 years, and providing career/ex...
Episode 145: Gay Men and How to Be a Better Lover
12 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, gives thirteen tips for gay men on how to be a better lover, based on his thirty-year experienc...
Episode 144: Gay Men and Wealth: Coping with Rewards and Challenges
25 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, discusses gay men and wealth: rewards, challenges, how to cope with those challenges, and how to develop a social...
Episode 143: Seven Ways to Enhance a Gay Men's Relationship for Satisfaction and Longevity
04 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST gives seven secret tips and recommendations for how gay male couples and polycules can enhance their relationship ...
Episode 142: Gay Men and the Emotional Benefits of Kink Play
23 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken describes the emotional benefits of kink play for gay men, with their implications for daily life and personal self-empowerment.
Episode 141: Gay Men and Gender Role Enforcement Rage
14 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ken describes Gender Role Enforcement Rage: what it is, who is doing it, its harms, and what to do about it.
Episode 140: Gay Men, the Holiday Season, and the Five Senses
21 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken takes a Mindfulness look at how gay men can enjoy the Holiday Season with the five senses of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.
Episode 139: Gay Men and Santa Daddy
09 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses gay men and "Santa Daddy," gay men's approaches to Santa Claus, inspired by the song, "Santa Baby," and inspiration for the holiday seas...
Episode 138: Gay Men and How To Reach Your Full Potential
19 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses the most common unconscious barriers gay men have to reaching their full potential from 30 years practicing therapy and coaching for gay...
Episode 137: Gay Men and Spirituality: Reclaiming Your Rights
08 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses how gay men can reclaim their right to spirituality even after abuse by religious institutions.
Episode 136: What Is Daily Mental Health for Gay Men?
28 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives tips on how to start each day with a strong mental health to give inspiration and focus to meet our goals as gay men. (To support the show...
Episode 135: Top 10 Reasons Gay Couples Break Up and How to Prevent Them
16 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken describes the Top 10 reasons gay male couples break up, as observed in over 30 years of practice as a gay specialist therapist, and offers a copin...
Episode 134: The Gay Male Executive: Coaching for Success
07 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken describes his role offering Executive Coaching for gay men and its many purposes and functions.
Episode 133: Gay Men, Dating Challenges, and How to Cope with Them
24 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken reviews the most common complaints and challenges from single gay male clients in dating, and how to adaptively cope with each of them.
Episode 132: Lessons for Gay Men from the 'On the Boulevard' Musical
28 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses lessons learned in writing his full-length, LGBT-themed musical play, "On the Boulevard," its concept album, and its themes for gay men'...
Episode 131: The Economics of Gay Male Relationships: Time, Energy, Money
13 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives tips for gay male relationships managing the economics of time, energy, money, convenience, space, control, and sex.
Episode 130: Gay Men and Knowing Your Sexual Self
18 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Gay men's specialist psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and coach Ken Howard, LCSW, CST provides a self-reflection exercise to know your...
Episode 129: Correction Announcement for Audio File
03 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken announces that the audio file for "Episode 129: Gay Men and Superheroes as Role Models" has been corrected due to a previous incomplete audio file...
Episode 129: Gay Men and Superheroes as Role Models
28 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
(NOTE: This episode was corrected from an earlier recording that was cut off early.) Ken discusses classic superhero characters from comics and movies...
Episode 128: Gay Men and Moving On in Life After Trauma
13 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses traumatic experiences such as child abuse, illness, accidents, crime, and interpersonal betrayals and the long-term coping in life for e...
Episode 127: Balance and Reciprocity in Gay Men's Dating and Relationships
18 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses areas of gay men's relationships that can feel out of balance, and how to re-establish fairness and equality in those areas for the long...
Episode 126: Gay Men and Coping with Cheating
30 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses some unusual and unique considerations for gay men when discovering a partner has "cheated" or broken an agreement, with tips on how to ...
Episode 15: How Can I Prevent My Gay Male Partner from Cheating? The Six Main Reasons and Their Fixes
25 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken reviews the top six factors for gay men in breaking a monogamy agreement in gay male relationships, and what the "fix" for each one is.
Episode 125: Gay Men, Activism, and Social Conscience
08 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses the history of LGBT civil rights activism and how we can all contribute in our own ways to the movement.
Episode 124: Gay Men and Mixing Your Boyfriend with Your Friends
19 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives tips on how to navigate mixing a new boyfriend with your existing group of friends or family, and how to cope with the most common challenge...
Episode 123: Gay Men and the Function/Purpose of Casual Hookups
04 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses the functions and purposes that casual hookups for gay men can be, and the importance of affirming our own sexual self-empowerment.
Episode 122: Gay Men and Life Lessons We Can Learn from Actors
05 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives tips on the life lessons gay men can learn from actors in the entertainment industry, about character, sex, and telling our stories.
Episode 121: Gay Men and When Our Mentors Have Flaws
23 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses how to cope when our mentors have flaws: parents, teachers, professors, bosses, work mentors, and therapist/coaches, and how to cope whe...
Episode 120: Gay Men and New Year, New Sex: Mind, Heart, Body
09 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses how to make positive changes in the new year in how you approach your sex life in your mind, heart, and body.
Episode 119: Gay Men and Kink Sexual Health: Notes from the 2022 CLAW Conference
12 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken attended the 2022 CLAW (Cleveland Leather Awareness Weekend) Conference in Los Angeles, and gives tips from the kink education seminars for gay me...
Episode 118: Gay Men Who Have Given Up On Finding a Relationship
06 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses how gay men can cope with the frustrations of being single when you want a partner, and how we can rally our internal and external resou...
Episode 117: Gay Men Overcoming Specific Traumas - PART TWO
19 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses gay men overcoming specific traumas related to the workplace, family of origin, political, and social/peer areas, and tips for how to co...
Episode 116: Gay Men Overcoming Specific Traumas - PART ONE
19 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses gay men overcoming specific traumatic experiences that can be medical, legal, academic, or criminal, and tips for coping triumphantly wi...
Episode 115: Gay Men and Pets: Challenges and Rewards
19 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses the rewards and challenges for gay men with pets, and some cognitive/behavioral coping strategies for each of them.
Episode 114: PART TWO - Gay Men's Dating Situations That Are "No-Go" – And Their Alternatives
31 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In the second of this two-part episode, Ken discusses more "deal breakers" in gay men's dating, and gives tips for their alternatives.
Episode 113: Gay Men's Dating Situations That Are "No-Go" – And Their Alternatives – PART ONE
23 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Part One of this two-part episode, Ken gives guidance on six of the most common dating "no-go's" for gay men, how to cope with them and their alter...
Episode 112: Gay Men and the Mental Health Aspects of Monkey Pox
07 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
A discussion of the mental health and sociio-political impacts of Monkey Pox for gay men, and how to cope with them.
Episode 111: Gay Men and Trauma Recovery: Reclaiming Your Life
10 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Gay men's specialist psychotherapist, life/career/executive coach, and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gives an overview of gay ...
Episode 110: PART TWO: Gay Men and Kink: Sensory Enhancements to Sex
28 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this Part Two of "Gay Men and Kink: Sensory Enhancements to Sex: Materials, Circumstances, and Fabrics: An Overview", Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gives ...
Episode 109: Gay Men and Kink: Sensory Enhancements to Sex - An Overview (Part One)
20 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Licensed psychotherapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, provides an overview for gay men of the materials and circumstances...
Episode 108: Gay Men, Pride Season, and Summer Lovin'
05 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, offers stories about LGBT Pride Season 2022, and the value of the summer vacation romance.
Episode 107: Gay Men and Reconciling Your Religious Beliefs with Your Sexuality
19 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Gay men's specialist licensed psychotherapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist offers perspectives on reconciling your religious beliefs with your s...
Episode 106: Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference
01 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Gay men's specialist sex therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gives tips for gay male couples to manage mismatched libidos and desire discrepancy.
Episode 105: Gay Men's Sexuality: Focus on the Five Senses for Better Functionality
12 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses how to focus on the five senses - sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch -- to enhance a gay man's sexual experience, reduce anxiety, a...
Episode 104: Gay Men and How to Avoid the Pitfalls of Dating
29 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives guidance on eight common pitfalls in dating for gay men, and strategies for how to cope with each of them.
Episode 103: Mental Health Aspects of Sexual Health for Gay Men
15 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses how diagnosable (DSM-5) psychiatric disorders can affect mental health and sexual health for gay men and couples.
Episode 102: Gay Male Relationships: What are the Boundaries Between Partners?
23 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken describes six areas of boundaries within a gay male relationship to discuss and reduce conflict.
Episode 101: Gay Men and Coping with 'Bad Luck'
06 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken gives examples of various incidents of bad luck in gay men's lives, with a corresponding coping strategy for each.
Episode 100: Gay Male Relationships and the ADD/OCD Syndrome
18 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses the challenges in gay male relationships when one partner has traits of ADD/ADHD and the other has traits of OCD/OCPD, and how to create...
Episode 99: Gay Men and Food: A Dynamic Relationship at Any Age
31 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses gay men's relationship to food, at any phase of life, with its rewards and challenges.
Episode 98: The Greeks' Eight Types of Love as Applied to Gay Men
14 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ken discusses the ancient Greeks' Eight Types of Love, and applies them to gay men for inspiration and quality of life.
Episode 97: A Secular Appreciation of Christmas for Gay Men
05 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ken offers a perspective on a non-religious, secular humanistic view of the themes of the Christmas season.