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Chapter 1: What personal experiences shaped Ashley Roberts' perspective on life?
Hello everyone, I'm Jamie Lang and this is Great Moments. Guys, welcome back to another episode of Great Moments. Hope you're having a good day. Now, we are looking back at my conversation with the incredible Ashley Roberts. Now, Ashley was a joy to talk to. She was a pussycat doll. She's funny, honest, open, and I learned so much about her during our chat.
Now, we picked one of my favorite moments to share with you, and if you like this, you'd love the full episode, okay? You can find that in the show notes, so just go and click on that, okay? So enjoy this Great Moments with Ashley Roberts. I started doing therapy when I was about 27 years old. And I suddenly started to realize like a lot of things.
Like I thought I was going to get to the age of like 30 and someone was going to open the door and go, come in here, here are all the secrets. And I was like, brilliant. I can't wait for that. I can't wait to find that out. And then 30 years, I was like, fuck. Everyone is guessing. Everyone doesn't really know what's going on. This is everyone's first. No one's had a dress rehearsal.
No, I know this is it.
This is it. That was a scary moment.
I think Riri said, fake it till you make it. It's such a cheesy line, but it's true. None of us have it figured out. We're all trying. But at least I think, again, with doing this book and sharing it, I want people to be open to trying new things that could help them feel better.
And help calm down, you know, because anybody, even if you don't have high stress levels and a lot of anxiety, like this kind of stuff will help you just feel good.
Do you think being positive is a coping mechanism or a defense mechanism?
Ooh, that's a good, might be a bit of both, you know.
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Chapter 2: How did therapy influence Ashley's understanding of emotions?
So it wouldn't allow other people to express their emotions in a relationship that well, because I didn't want that space. I'd rather deny that.
Interesting. You mean even at all? At all, yeah. Oh, wow.
I never, ever liked it. I never liked it. Interesting.
I wonder what that is.
And so then when I started doing therapy, I started to understand how you can open up and understand these different emotions. And then I started to be able to accept negative emotion and realizing that actually being positive all the time, you don't have to be that. You don't have to be all this heightened stuff all the time. Actually being still and feeling the emotions is a good thing.
Yeah, there was this study actually that like there was a high percentage of people that would rather get electric shock than sit with their own emotions. What? Yeah. I mean, and the percentage was like extremely high.
So I think that just goes to show, yeah, I mean, you know, it's not necessarily fun, but that's sort of how you get through it on the other side and get growth and evolution within yourself.
Yeah.
Being positive is a great thing, right? Totally. But too much of anything is probably too much.
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Chapter 3: What insights does Ashley share about positivity as a coping mechanism?
And I've heard you speak about it. We always talk about... There's this silly analogy that people talk about where women get concerned when they think about having kids, right? As they start to get older. Would you at some point want to have kids?
Well, I do open up a bit about this in the book. It has really never been a priority to me. Even as a young kid, I told my mom, I'm like, I don't think I want kids. I don't really care if I get married. It wasn't like I was the girl planning the wedding and seeing the whole like... you know, white picket fence and all that.
So, and I kind of kept thinking, well, maybe when I get older, that will shift. And I'm like, has it really shifted? So again, I mean, who knows? Every day, I think we got to allow ourselves to exist in the possibility of waking up the next day and feeling different. Although, you know, as a woman, we've got our biological clocks, but Again, going back to this.
But isn't it funny, just quickly, that it's so interesting that when... Because it's so funny. There's certain things in life which I find bizarre.
Yeah.
If you said to me, do you drink? And I went, no, I don't drink. Especially in English culture, they go, huh. I'm not a murderer. I just don't drink. And I think it's sort of the same in life with kids. When someone says, do you want to have kids? And you go, well, I don't. People tend to go, what?
I know, right?
But you're meant to. That's what you're meant to do. And actually, there's no right or wrong way to do life.
I mean, I'm going to say two things. One, I told you I was going to break the cycle. So there's that. Two, I love fluffy babies. I mean, like I could have like a load of dogs and be in heaven. So I think I might just have a little fur family and be so all right with that. I mean, and that's how I feel now. Who knows? Later down the road is 2025. There's all kinds of ways.
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Chapter 4: Why does Ashley choose not to have children?
Yeah. Yeah. 100%. 100%.
I want to have a margarita with a little cute, you know, man coming over and serving it to me. Sounds fabulous. I don't have to go to the kiddie pool.
What do you like in a relationship?
What do you like when you're in love? Yeah, well, I mean, you know, there's been many areas of love, but I think that this current one I'm in is quite nice. It's consistent, it's kind, it's thoughtful, it's romantic, it's my nervous system. And honestly, I swear to you, Jamie, it's because I've been doing this work.
Get out of here.
I swear, because...
there's just been a shift even my my friends my closest friends i said you know i've got my close circle like they're like ash like you're different like something's different and when you again have a shift in perspective right how you operate in life then shows up differently and that sort of because you can react differently you you you process things differently self-awareness of i mean also that you know i've gotten older but my boyfriend's you know
younger than me and I was like first of all I was like no we'll have you know this is fun but like not gonna go anywhere serious but actually the kind of human that he is I was like oh that like my nervous system around you is really calm wow you're consistent transparent um
just a beautiful human and i was like i want to i want to lean into that instead of the other relationships that sparked up something that was probably what was more familiar to me um as considered love you know did you find in some relate when relationships seem to be hectic and chaotic and dramatic and fiery and that you're like oh that this is what it should be like this is what a relationship should be like
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Chapter 5: What does Ashley value in relationships?
So what do you look for in a person?
Um, again, like, you know, you, we want to have a good laugh. I think that's super important. You want to have fun. Cause you're so funny. You are so funny. You are so funny. The two of you too. I mean, I just can't, I love you guys so much. Um, yeah, it's having that playfulness, having a laugh. Um, again, knowing that you're not going to be judged for, um,
how you dress or how you operate in the world or, you know, just being able to be yourself and be fully accepted of that is an awesome space to exist in.
And if someone's listening right to this and they are maybe in a relationship that they know isn't right, but they feel stuck, how do you get out of that?
Well, listen, I'm not, you know, a life coach over here. I feel like you are.
Do you? Yeah, I feel like you are.
I mean, you know, sometimes we got to do brave things. Like, let me tell you, some of the relationships that I left were not easy ones to walk away from, but I knew in my gut it was what was needed to be done. And it was tough getting on the other side, but thank God that I did, you know? And I think if you can find that courage, that bravery within you, listen to that act, um,
you know that it's not right for you, right? And like, come on, like, this is such a gift that we're here. Like, how do you want to spend it? And I know we cause a lot of chaos ourselves. So having someone by your side that makes you feel better is important. There's a lot going on. You know, we need a good ride or die partner in crime.
100%, man. What is the bravest thing you've done?
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