I've already fallen on my face | Robyn Malcolm
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The minute you see a friend going, oh, I'm not coping, everybody else goes, neither am I, let's have a huddle.
Group hug.
Group hug. The one thing I got all through my childhood was imagine what you could have done if you'd done some work, you know? And I had to go back and rewrite all of it. You're not having sex anymore to make babies, which means you're a certain age in your life, which means your lack of fertility is a source of shame, which means that your body is a source of shame, which means that your dry vagina is a source of shame, which means that everything ageing in you is a source of shame. So why on earth would you want to rip your clothes off and throw yourself at anybody? Because you're really fighting so much shame.
Nau mai, haere mai to grey areas with me, Petra Baggist. Today I catch up with the indomitable Robin Malcolm, queen of stage and screen, who I first sat down with for season one of Grey Areas early in 2022. Back then, we were both in the thick of perimenopause. And look, since 2022, she has been busy. She's co-directed, executive produced and starred in BAFTA-nominated series After the Party. She's worked in heaps of drama series and movies like Pike River. and a couple of documentaries, including a new one coming out this year on menopause. She's also fallen in love as happily in her 60s and an absolute firecracker of a human being. Here's Robin. Rob and Malcolm, it's actually bloody brilliant to sit down and yarn with you again about almost five years after we talked for the first time when we were just like going, oh, perimenopause?
Can we what? Yeah. And it was like this journey of discovery. I remember I was smack bang in the middle of it and going, there has to be a better script than this. And I'm on the cusp of 54 and a birdie told me, you are whoop, whoop, 61.
61 yes yes yes brilliant like you are like a beacon of 60s like you are like watch me just work it baby it feels better i have to say i just it really does it it um
I would never have said this. 20 years ago, the idea of 60 seemed horrific to me. And I look back at that and I'm like, oh, you fool. But also, why was no one telling me? Why was no one saying to me at the time, probably because I didn't have 60-year-old friends probably, but you go through this awful bit which these days you don't have to go through in such an awful way as women used to. And then you get out the other side and as long as you own it, you know, as long as you own it, it's better, I think, better than before, you know.
I'm with you. I feel like I'm doing more interesting, more engaging, more impactful work than I've ever done in my life. You certainly look like you are. And I feel more comfortable in who I am. I am enjoying little things. I'm enjoying my own body, getting dressed. I'm enjoying my friendships. I just feel...
like I can inhabit who I am not in a way in a way that just it's I don't know how to describe it it's not that I'm taking up somebody else's space I'm just sitting in my space and I'm here there's a I feel like there's a little bit more courage because there's less anxiety about about what other people might think yeah and there's also less anxiety about failure you know because if you reach if you get to if you get to 60 or if you whether you like to acknowledge it to yourself or not, you've had a lot of failure. Yeah, you've already failed.
You've already done the darn best.
Yeah, it's like that Dr Seuss book, you know, that either places you'll go, you know, you'll be up here and then sometimes you won't and bang-ups and smash-ups happen to you and you get... So there's, you know, gratitude's an overused word, but I do feel that.
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