Growth Mindset Psychology: The Science of Self-Improvement
Leaving a Legacy: What do we actually get remembered for - Lessons on family and life - [Storied Recipe]
19 Dec 2025
Chapter 1: What personal story does the host share about his grandmother?
Hello and welcome to the Growth Mindset Psychology Podcast with me, Sam Webster-Harris, where we look at the science behind self-improvement and discuss philosophically what it means to live a life well-lived. If you have listened for a while, you know that I enjoy finding inspiration in unexpected places.
It is also Christmas lately, so why not reflect on some more personal backstories that define our human experience? For our episode today, we have a slightly sentimental set of ideas on growth mindset and life in general by looking at the concept of cooking, family, weird schooling practices and the cool things my nan used to do.
To fill you in, my nan was an entrepreneur, artist and self-assigned chief baker for all of her friends in the village.
Chapter 2: How did school trauma affect the host's relationship with food?
As she grew old, she turned blind and without complaining, still found ways to do the things that she loved and was always a source of positive encouragement for me and the whole of our wider family. So if you are looking for an episode where I teach you specific lessons about an idea or concrete tips on mastering an aspect of mindsets, this is probably not the episode for you.
But if you enjoy heartwarming stories and lessons on family, growing up and growing old, then I think you'll love it. You're going to hear me being interviewed by Becky Hadid, who runs the excellent podcast called The Storied Recipe, where she asks people about a specific recipe that means something deeply important to that individual and the weird and moving stories behind it.
In my case, my special recipe is the coconut pineapple upside down cake that my nan used to make religiously for me. every single time I saw her for over a decade because I had been slightly traumatized by my schooling system that would force feed me food until I vomited and this pineapple cake was one of the only things she could get me to eat and so she just did not stop giving it to me.
But it's a long and heartwarming story that I would be honored if you have the time to take a listen.
Imagine yourself standing in an English garden, peeking through a small window into a cozy kitchen. Once you're close enough, you may even catch the faint strains of Ben Crosby on the radio.
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Chapter 3: What lessons did the host learn from his grandmother's kitchen?
A small blonde boy and his sister sit at the table. It's a blue table on a blue floor, which is a surprising color choice, but one that will later make sense when you learn you're looking into the kitchen of an artist. The little boy and his sister are engrossed in their projects, while their Nan takes a loaf out of the oven and puts another in.
Only then do you notice three loaves of bread already cooling on the counter. The old woman turns and says something to the little boy, and his face lights up as he proudly holds out his modeling clay project to his Nan.
Chapter 4: How did the grandmother's blindness impact her creativity?
This little boy was Sam Harris, who grew up to mirror his nan in some of the best ways.
Chapter 5: What role did art play in the host's family legacy?
She owned a business. He's a serial entrepreneur and working now on one of my favorite podcasts, but more about that later. She was an artist. He is a musician.
Chapter 6: What is the significance of the pineapple upside-down cake in the host's life?
And she had a gift for making Sam and his cousins, and probably a lot of other people, feel seen, special, and supported. And speaking from a personal standpoint, I'm in a community where I get to see and have benefited from that same gift in Sam today. Such a thoughtful, humble way of encouraging others.
In today's episode, we explore all of this through a simple pineapple cake, Sam's cake, as his family called it.
Chapter 7: How does the host reflect on his grandmother's artistic influence?
The cake was his nan's attempt to heal his troubles with food and to instill her old-fashioned values through nurture rather than control. Most of all, this episode offered for me a new take, an inversion, if you will, on the old adage, it's better to give than to receive.
Sam's pineapple cake tells the story of a family, their matriarch, the values she passed on, and the ways she ultimately received the gift of those values in return.
So the cake and Manan definitely got linked slowly over time, but I think there was a moment when it clicked. One Sunday afternoon, going home with another pineapple cake, and my sister being like, do we have pineapple cake again? Yeah.
it had been a thing that I just not stopped every single time we've been to see her is that she would give me a pineapple cake and I liked it, but the rest of my family stopped liking it at some point in the three to four year boundary. And she carried on anyway, just for me, which was lovely because of, I basically struggled to eat much food and really hated chocolate cake or
I couldn't really eat ice cream other than mint ice cream or vanilla ice cream. Because I was super fussy, my nan just realized one day when she was trying her different cakes that this was one thing I would eat.
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Chapter 8: How does the host plan to pass on his grandmother's recipe?
So she just kept on making it for me every single time, which was a lovely offer to do. But even in my own head, at one point, I got a bit bored of it. I was like, I think I can eat other things.
But then you couldn't break her heart, right?
Yeah, I got to the point where I was like... No one knew how to bring it up to her that we probably had enough pineapple cake at this point.
Tell me a little bit about being a fussy eater. Some kids are fussy eaters, but it sounds like it was pretty extreme in your case.
Yeah. When I was three or something, I was like allergic to sugar.
for a whole year or intolerance I just got a massive rash and so my mum had to learn how to cook everything sugar-free for a while but I could eat fruit and then since then I didn't like chocolate or like really sweet things but I'd eat like vegetables and everything else pretty normally then I went to a school that was really strict and they forced you to eat every single thing they cooked and I don't know what they were doing but they somehow made everything taste horrible and I
I got to the point where I could tell exactly what was being cooked the moment I walked through the gates in the morning. And based on what it was, I would just feel sick all day or not. And then I'd get to lunchtime. And if it was, I couldn't even eat the boiled potatoes that they did or carrots and things.
And you'd be forced to eat everything on your plate, even if you asked to not have it, which was frustrating. And many times I'd end up being forced to sit there and try and eat something I didn't want to eat until I vomited, at which point I'd be allowed to go, which just seemed really pointless to me because of
I'd rather eat something and then leave than eat some things I'm not going to finish, vomit and have eaten nothing for lunch. But apparently that was more wasteful to them. So anyway, I had some like food based trauma in my life for quite a few years in between being a five year old and a 10 year old until I left the school.
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