Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey everybody, welcome to the H3 show. This is your host, Ethan Klein, coming at you live from Los Angeles, California. The date is, of course, March 4th, 2026. And I come before you, a humble man, who's man enough to admit when he has a problem. That problem is posture. We were unable to address it last week. with our braces and our beeping devices and such.
So what we have here today, we kind of stepped it up to the next level. Can you show? Yeah, so what you're seeing is this is essentially suspended from the roof. And it's meant to straighten my spine and neck through the power of gravity. It's something you might expect to see in a Russian dungeon. I'm trying to put them all my way. I mean, I am putting a lot on it. So, yeah, be careful.
It's being held up by the grid right now. The grid is strong. If you pulled down that whole grid, that'd be crazy. I'll be honest. Well, what's the grid load? That's a Dan question. I'm assuming it's got a load. I think the grid will be okay. Yeah. I'm more concerned about... Maybe at my peak weight. Yeah. You know, it reminds me. I took my kids when I was at my peak weight to Adventure City.
Do you know that place? It's near Disneyland, near Pirates.
Yes, I do, with the go-karts and all, the bumper cars and all that kind of stuff.
I don't remember bumper cars, but it's like a little mini theme park. Got it. And they have... like a Ferris wheel with buckets.
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Chapter 2: What humorous anecdotes are shared about posture and health devices?
And so I got in the bucket with Teddy and this motherfucker was... Bucket. I never had anything like that before. It was a spectacle. Like people were pointing and laughing. Bucket. So at that, my point is at that weight, that might've been an issue, but I'm down. But I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of how it makes me feel this. It's a good neck exercise. Yeah. Keep doing it.
It doesn't feel that therapeutic on my neck. No? It feels painful, actually. This one had great reviews on Amazon. It was like three and a half stars. Three and a half. I mean, that's pretty good. That's catastrophic for Amazon. That's like, okay. Well, let me give it my best shot. It feels like it's forcing my head up too much. You want me to loosen it?
Well, that's correct, right?
That is? Yeah. The problem is you got to... Yeah, there you go. No, that looks really... Can you see his side profile? Side profile. Show the profile? Yeah. Hold on. The side profile is not good. I think we need to tighten it.
You look like Bella Hadid.
Oh, my. I have an ear hole. Look. Ow. Ow.
Ow.
Not tighter.
Somebody tickle him. Actually tighter.
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Chapter 3: What insights are shared about fast food consumption?
Bro's the zuck of fast food. Let's try that again. Let's see how much he actually consumes. The moment of truth. What kind of fucking bite is that, dude? The moment of truth. He seems, to be fair to him, he seems like a petite eater.
Yeah, he probably, again, you need a guy with some meat on his bones to be making this shit.
That is so good. That's a big bite for a bitch. That is not a big bite. Right there. It's like that Spongebob meme. I don't like that the sauce, is that cheese or sauce that's white?
That cheese. The white stuff is cheese.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want me to put, I mean, are they, Nate, did you show that? Yeah. That's the McDonald's CEO, literally. Big Arch. It's distinctively McDonald's. Only McDonald's could do this type of burger. What?
This shit kind of burger?
They need to get this guy off the internet.
You should explore his Instagram. It's really shitty.
Send it. It also is unlike anything else on our menu. It can't be that true. It's just a hamburger. Delicious product. You know, you've got sort of the cheeses and the gooeyness. Gooeyness? I don't want gooeyness. I don't know. Must be onions as well. Gives a nice texture. And of course, we've got the pickles. So I'm going to enjoy the rest of my lunch. Show me. Prove it. Prove it.
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Chapter 4: What are the reactions to the new burger review?
Take another bite.
Bro's not feeling it. His description is not. There's no feel in it. Recalculated.
He needs to say, oh, wow, this lettuce crunched. You know, making me feel a thing. It should make you want to arch your back.
Yeah, dude.
Fucking get on the McFors, dude. So now here's Burger King CEO. Wait, real quick. I just received another review from Armad Avery, who had it last night. And he also agrees. Too messy. Giving it a three out of ten.
Wow.
Wow.
It's not even. And when I had it, I got three different ones from different locations. You did that? Mm-hmm. And they were all bad? Yeah. Oh, man. It's not like a normal.
They were all equally bad? Yeah.
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Chapter 5: What challenges does the guest face while managing addiction?
Thank you very much. Thank you, XP. Thank you, XP. Thank you. It was really fun. It was real fun.
How did you do it?
Oh wait, I was supposed to do this. Hold on. Yeah, baby! Yeah! I forgot to do that when I unveiled the fruitless spot. Thank you, everybody. Yeah. Thank you. Damn, dude. Did we see? Wow. Woo! Did we secure that mic good enough on him? Wow. Wow. Yeah, that mic is really on there. It's on there. You want it to sit here? No, next to you.
Oh, next to me? That mic is secure. Jack, you want to try this? Make sure to remove the mic.
We already got the Burger King, guys. I'm actually... Oh, my mic is absolutely... Really? Interesting. So I'm actually very difficult because I know I don't look like it, but I am vegan. Oh, for real?
Yeah.
What? I've been in the cult for like 14 years. So what kind of food do you get down with? I really like... So we don't have this... Okay, so yeah, we don't have this at all in Cleveland, but I really like veggie grill. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I really rock with Veggie Grill.
We fuck with Veggie Grill.
There's one spot in Cleveland called Cleveland Vegan, which is really good. But, like, other than that, it's, like, there's, like, all I eat is, like, two bean burritos, no cheese from Taco Bell. Oh, Dan knows. Dan knows. So that's, like, your daily... Yeah, no, I mean, I'm currently on tour right now. You know what I mean? So it's like, I'm just eating terribly. I'm sleeping horribly, you know.
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Chapter 6: How does the discussion about Jim Carrey's transformation unfold?
So I started to hallucinate that I was sitting right here on the show. Oh, my gosh. All right. You get what I'm saying? Do you have the knife on you or is that still in your suitcase? The knife is in my suitcase. Do you want to play with it? No. Okay. You can play with it.
No, that's okay.
It's a little flap thing, you know? Yeah, that's okay. I kind of want to see it later. We'll look at it later. Yeah, Dan couldn't rock with the knife. So, well, you're okay. You survived that. Yeah, no, I got through it. I go to, have you ever heard of Smart Recovery? So it's like kind of like a secular version of AA and NA, you know what I mean?
But I facilitate like- You don't need God to get sober. I mean, yeah, I don't think so. You know, they're not overtly non-religious, but like you don't have to, you could be anyone and go to Smart Recovery. You know, it's all cognitive behavioral therapy based, you know what I mean? What kind of drugs were you doing? No, you're good. I'm a former opiate addict.
Well, I got started on the same thing as you. Tramadol? Yeah, dude. Pound it. That shit's good, right? Yeah, no, dude. I'm not going to lie. But also don't do it because it's also terrible. Yeah, no, most definitely. I was actually taking, have you ever heard of 7-Hydroxy? Sounds familiar. Is that like a designer drug? Yeah, it's pretty much like a designer drug. So like,
I remember you talked about Tay Zonday's friend taking Kratom.
Yes.
So it's like Kratom on steroids. They take the isolated chemical from Kratom. Oh, interesting. And like beef it up. And when it's like isolated, it's like something like seven times more potent than morphine. Okay. So I was taking like $200 a day worth of that. Yeah. And I was also taking this other designer drug called Fentabute. Damn.
Which is like, I mean, it's similar to like a benzo kind of thing, but. So was there a point when you were like, I got to get help? Like, was there like a rock bottom moment? Well, so I basically did a fight with misfits, right?
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Chapter 7: What conspiracy theories are mentioned about Jim Carrey?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
The Illuminati?
Look, did you see at the end? Did you see, Ethan?
Jimbo Kimble did it.
They both did it.
Exactly.
It's clearly a gag.
See, this don't change nothing. It just seems like they're doubling down on it. And clearly when he picked up the phone, they said some sort of activation phrase for his conditioning. That's why he reverted back into his programming. Do you think then that Jimmy Kimmel is part of the conspiracy? Of course. He's in on it.
You can't.
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Chapter 8: How do the hosts analyze Jim Carrey's recent behavior?
All different flavors. So that explains that. You can learn a skill. Right. Okay. Got it. Now, what about, oh, he was famously left-handed. That's a flip fucking photo. I flipped it. You know why?
You flipped it.
I did.
You scheming.
Because you know why, Ethan?
Succubus.
All online it was like, and he's famously left-handed. So I'm on the internet looking, this motherfucker has always been right-handed. Like in every single photo. It's crazy, man.
Why are they doing this? What assholes? It is kind of wild. You could just say shit today on TikTok. It's crazy.
That was my experience doing this. I was like, why are people just repeating? If you do that much research, it's just not... There's not a single photo where he's using his left hand dominantly.
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