Heal from Infidelity: Reclaiming Your Peace, Power, and Self-Trust After Betrayal
Episodes
Your Wounded Child | Ep #141
03 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
As children raised by imperfect parents, we all have "core wounds" that inform much of our life. We may have had experiences we did not know how to pr...
Three Myths and Three Truths About Infidelity | Ep #140
19 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I cover 3 common myths circulating about infidelity, and 3 truths to counter them. With a lot of conflicting information out there, ...
For My Male Listeners | Ep #139
05 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Most of my podcast episodes have been geared toward women who have experienced betrayal, but this one is for the men. First I address men who have be...
Losing Strategies | Ep #138
22 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Growing up, we all take on behaviors that we use when our safety feels threatened. In this episode, I will be covering five strategies we use to try ...
Choosing and Being Chosen | Ep #137
08 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
While we all want to be in relationships that are trusting and loving, at the root of it all what we really want is to feel deeply chosen. In this ep...
5 Lessons from 5 Years of Coaching | Ep #136
23 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
After having conversations with hundreds of people from all over the world in my five years of being an infidelity coach, there are some patterns, tre...
Toxic Independence | Ep #135
09 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In a world that celebrates independence, it can seem like "weakness" to build relationships that require vulnerability. With "cancel culture" being ra...
People-pleasing and Infidelity with Sara Fisk, Part 2 | Ep #134
26 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In the 2nd of this 2 part series, Sara Fisk and Andrea go deeper into people-pleasing. They go into more detail about how people-pleasing tendencies ...
People-pleasing and Infidelity with Sara Fisk, Part 1 | Ep #133
12 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Do you struggle with people-pleasing? Is it getting in the way of making clear decisions for yourself in the after-math of infidelity? In this 2-part...
Rebuilding Your Life After Infidelity with Lauren | Ep #132
29 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I interview a former client, Lauren. Be prepared for an episode you will go back to again and again as there were so many gems and tr...
Expectations of Healing | Ep #131
15 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
How do you define healing? If you think it means never hurting again, you can be setting yourself up for even more pain in the future. In this episo...
How to Change Relationship Dynamics | Ep #130
01 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
After infidelity, it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to take control of the healing and recovery of your partner. In this episode, you will l...
Seeing the Full Picture | Ep #129
17 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes we can use popular opinion against ourselves. We can listen to the opinions of others, rather than deeply searching our own hearts for what ...
Financial Infidelity with Tracy Coenen | Ep #128
03 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Romantic infidelity and financial infidelity often go hand in hand. Money is frequently spent on the affair partner, and in high-control relationships...
Changing the Dance | Ep #127
20 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Infidelity is one of the few things that can change everything, forever. There is no going back. How we deal with the "after" in infidelity is crucia...
A Spark of Desire | Ep #126
06 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Do you often feel like you "should" try to stay after infidelity? Or maybe you feel pressure from others telling you to leave because, as the saying g...
Intrusive Thoughts Part 2 | Ep #125
22 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this follow up to my last episode, "Intrusive Thoughts," I go into more depth as to how to navigate the thoughts that seem to take over and rob you...
Intrusive Thoughts | Ep #124
08 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts? These are the ones that pop up, seemingly out of nowhere, and can derail your whole day. In this episode, I ...
Cognitive Dissonance | Ep #123
25 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when something you believed as true is challenged? Or when you make up your mind about something and immediately doubt it? Does it mean y...
Emotional Divorce | Ep #122
11 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
After infidelity, the decision needs to be made whether to stay or go. But for most people, that is only half the decision. Many people go through li...
Trauma and Resiliency | Ep #121
28 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
When you think of yourself, do you identify more with being someone who has been traumatized, or as someone who is incredibly resilient, despite your ...
Courage Inspired Action | Ep #120
14 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us understand the importance and significance of courage. It is an emotion that can help us to look at hard things in our lives. But if we are...
Keeping the Peace | Ep #119
30 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
How much pressure do you put on yourself to "Keep the Peace"? Maybe there are things you don't say because you don't want to create conflict. Maybe yo...
Understanding Our Impact | Ep #118
16 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In the aftermath of infidelity, it can feel like your life has been blown up, and our spouse sometimes does not seem to understand how much their choi...
Self-advocacy with Samantha Nielsen | Ep #117
02 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I welcome guest and self-advocacy expert, Samantha Nielsen to the show. If you have ever struggled in knowing how to speak up for you...
Recognizing Truth | Ep #116
19 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Do you often wonder how you'll know the difference between a truth and a lie? It is a common question after infidelity, since the very nature of infid...
Lost and Found | Ep #115
05 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this lost and found episode, I share a story of recently losing my child in Disneyland and some profound lessons that came from that. I came away ...
Grandiosity | Ep #114
21 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, you'll learn how grandiosity can lead to affairs. If we think we are better than others, we tend to excuse our behavior and make exce...
How to Change | Ep #113
07 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Are there things in your life you want to change? Do you want your spouse to change? In this episode, you will learn the fast-track to how to really,...
The High Fidelity Marriage | Ep #112
24 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
There is a lot of discussion about infidelity, but what about fidelity? What does it even look like to live in a high fidelity marriage? In this epis...
Inherent Risk | Ep #111
10 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
One of the main questions we have after experiencing infidelity is, "How do I know it won't happen again?" In this episode, I teach about risk as bei...
What Is Infidelity? | Ep #110
24 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever wondered if what you experienced is infidelity? For some situations, there is no doubt. But for many others, there is a lot of nuance. ...
Long-term Healing | Ep #109
10 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Often times, in an attempt to avoid temporary pain and discomfort, we avoid hard conversations, stuff down our own feelings and hide how we really fe...
Excusing Bad Behavior | Ep #108
27 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is all about why we excuse bad behavior. Whether it be from our kids, spouse, co-workers, boss, etc., there are reasons we allow people t...
My Biggest Lesson from 2022 | Ep #107
13 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
2022 was one for the books for me personally. I started the year with a new baby, launched a new program, and grew in ways I didn't know I needed. In...
How to Co-Regulate | Ep #106
30 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In a world that praises extreme independence, many of us don't know how to help each other calm our nervous systems. We may even think it is co-depend...
Dealing with Conflict | Ep #105
16 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In my years of coaching, one thing I have heard too many times to count is, "I don't like conflict." My clients use this as a reason to not take bold ...
Re-imagining Discovery Day | Ep #104
02 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
For many people, D-day, or discovery day (the day they found out about their spouse's infidelity) is a heavy, traumatic day. When they have the annive...
Breaking Free from Resentment | Ep #103
18 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Resentment. This is an emotion I see in almost all of my clients, whether they be the one who was betrayed or the one who did the betraying. While it ...
The Impact of Infidelity | Ep #102
04 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Many would agree that infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences to endure. In this episode, rather than taking that statement at its word,...
After the Affair with Luke Shillings | Ep #101
21 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I interview Luke Schillings about his personal experience with experiencing and healing from infidelity. He has used his own painful ...
The Best of Heal from Infidelity | Ep #100
08 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
To celebrate 100 episodes, tune in to hear snippets from the top 5 episodes thus far. You, my dear listeners, have been a delight to show up for, and ...
Will It Always Hurt? | Ep #99
23 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
A question I get asked a lot is, "Will it always hurt?" For most people, infidelity is one of life's experiences that can shake up your very foundatio...
Negative Expectations | Ep #98
09 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When you think of the future, do you feel a sense of foreboding, or hope? Much of what you anticipate can be traced to past, unresolved experiences w...
Entitlement | Ep #97
26 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
After infidelity, it can be really easy to feel like your spouse owes you something. He needs to make it up to you, right? It makes sense that one mig...
Validation Dependency | Ep #96
12 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Validation is something we all enjoy as humans. We want to feel connected, heard, and seen. For many of us though, especially if we were shot down a ...
Intimacy After Infidelity with Amanda Louder | Ep #95
29 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Some questions that come up a lot with clients is, "What about sex after finding out? Is it bad to be intimate? What if I don't want to? What if I do?...
Letting Go | Ep #94
15 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
A question I get asked regularly is about letting go - how to let go of the pain and hurt of infidelity. In this episode, I will cover things we hold...
Releasing Shame | Ep #93
01 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Shame. An emotion we all feel but no one wants to talk about. It's heavy, all-consuming, and keeps us isolated and stuck. This episode is all about l...
While You Are Waiting (On Him) | Ep #92
17 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In the aftermath of infidelity, there can be a period where you wait and watch. Sometimes there is waiting to see how much initiative our partners ta...
Stories of Hope | Ep #91
03 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever wonder if you can ever really truly move forward from the darkness you are feeling? A question I get a lot is, "Can I really do this?" an...
The Comparison Trap | Ep #90
27 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
One thing I hear all the time from my clients is that they struggle with comparing themselves to their spouse's affair partner. It can get to the poin...
The "Polite" Marriage | Ep #89
20 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever looked at a couple and thought, "They look so happy and in love," only to find out that they had major problems and were going through d...
Am I Settling? | Ep #88
13 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you wonder if you are settling in your relationship? Do you feel shame and guilt when you think about it? In this episode, I clear up what it mean...
Lying and Mind Masking | Ep #87
06 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever cover up how you feel and what you are thinking? This is called mind masking, and we all do it. In this episode, we'll dive in to why we a...
Receiving Love | Ep #86
29 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
For many of us it is easy to give, but harder to receive. Why is this? In this week's episode you'll get an inside look into your brain and why you r...
Reclaiming Your Life After Loss with Ashlee Boyson | Ep #85
22 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I interview special guest Ashlee Boyson. Ashlee Boyson is the author of the blog and book series titled "The Moments We Stand," in w...
The Messy Middle | Ep #84
15 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever get frustrated that you are not further along than you think you should be? Do you have moments where you feel like you are back at square...
Runaway Thoughts | Ep #83
08 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you have thoughts that you can't seem to keep at bay? You are just going about your day, and something comes to mind that you can't stop thinking a...
Mental Strength | Ep #82
01 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
As common as hearing about mental strength may be, we don't often hear about it in reference to infidelity. We talk a lot about feelings, healing, for...
Developing Friendships After Infidelity with Jewel Hohman | Ep #81
25 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In the aftermath of infidelity, relationships often change. While there are many reasons for this, it can be painful and lonely. We are all wired for ...
Self-confronting | Ep #80
18 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It is human nature to see faults in others, and much more difficult to see it in ourselves. In this episode, I'll teach you why self-confrontation is ...
Self-soothing | Ep #79
11 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
To show up as our best selves in any relationship, we must know how to calm ourselves down when emotions become overwhelming. Many of us have been tau...
High Desire/ Low Desire | Ep #78
04 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In every relationship there will be issues that one of you will care more about than the other. This is normal. Where we get ourselves in trouble is w...
Holding Onto Yourself | Ep #77
25 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you have moments (or days, or weeks) where you feel small, invisible and not at all like "yourself?" As flawed humans, it can be very easy to lose ...
Sliding Door Moments | Ep #76
18 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Every relationship has moments in time that make all the difference in which way the relationship goes. We either show up for ourselves or we don't. W...
How to Know You Are Healing | Ep #75
11 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
On the healing journey following infidelity, it can feel like you are not making any progress at all. It can be discouraging, overwhelming and downrig...
January Announcement
07 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Be sure to listen to this announcement as Andrea will be sharing some upcoming changes that will interrupt the show temporarily. Please click the butt...
Trust After Betrayal with Melissa Snow | Ep #74
31 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Andrea is a guest on the "Love Starts Here" podcast with life coach Melissa Snow. This episode covers the tough topics of how to trus...
Co-Parenting with Mikki Gardner | Ep #73
24 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Andrea is interviewed by Life Coach Mikki Gardner about how to put emotion aside and show up as the kind of parent you want to be aft...
Gratitude, Pain and a Baby | Ep #72
17 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
A few themes of this podcast are that we always have choices even when we feel we don't, that the hardships we experience can catapult us towards our ...
Untangling with Aimeé Gianni | Ep #71
10 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Does your relationship ever feel so tangled up with your spouse that you don't know what thoughts and feelings are his and which are yours? In this ep...
Wisdom from the One Who Strayed with Elisa Fucci | Ep #70
03 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Have you wondered why your spouse strayed and if your marriage can ever be good again? You don't want to miss this episode. Show guest Elisa Fucci sha...
Differentiation | Ep #69
26 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What kind of home did you grow up in? Were you allowed to speak your mind, be your own person and choose how you wanted to spend your time? How you re...
Effective Communication | Ep #68
19 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Clear, open communication can be a hard skill to learn for anyone, but can be especially difficult for someone who has felt betrayed by their spouse. ...
Accountability and Responsibility | Ep #67
12 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How do we know if our spouse is taking responsibility for their infidelity? How do we know if we are really moving forward or just doing the same thin...
Avoiding Mistakes | Ep #66
05 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What if making mistakes is not a problem? What if the real problem is what we make those mistakes mean, or what others make them mean that we then int...
Why We Are Afraid to Want | Ep #65
29 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I'll uncover why it feels safer to avoid wanting, and teach you what avoiding this question is costing you. You'll come away with som...
Dating After Divorce with Sade Curry | Ep #64
22 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Although many of my clients choose to stay with their spouses after infidelity, many decide to leave their marriages. Over time, some of them decide t...
Choices | Ep #63
15 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When life as we know it is turned upside down, it becomes very easy to believe we are alone, powerless, and a victim to what has been handed us. While...
Love or Attachment? | Ep #62
08 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Is it love or attachment? Many of my clients want to stay in their relationships because they can't imagine life without the other. Or their spouse sa...
What About the Kids? | Ep #61
01 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
As parents, we naturally want to protect our children from hurt and pain. We want them to be happy and thriving, right? So when we are trying to make ...
How to Ask Good Questions | Ep #60
24 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know how to question your own brain? Do you challenge your own thoughts? Some of us are pros at challenging others' beliefs but struggle to cha...
Grief | Ep #59
17 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Grief. It's an emotion we all experience as part of life. If we form attachments to anything, we risk feeling grief if we lose the thing we are attach...
Self-compassion | Ep #58
10 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you good at showing compassion to others? How do you feel when someone else is suffering? For many of us, compassion for others comes naturally. B...
Wants and Needs | Ep #57
03 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us have been taught that we should decide what we want and need out of relationships, communicate those things to our partners, and expect the...
Closure | Ep #56
27 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Something I often hear from clients is that they just want closure. They want to hear the apology. Know why it happened. Be free from all of it so the...
The Cost of Indecision | Ep #55
20 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Can you think of a decision you are putting off? Most of us aren't very good at making decisions. We get in our own way by second-guessing ourselves, ...
Influence vs. Control | Ep #54
13 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We all like to know how things will turn out. Our brains crave certainty, and because of this we often believe that if we can control things, we can d...
Understanding Infidelity with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife | Ep #53
06 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This week I am joined by Jennifer Finlayson-Fife to discuss the intricacies of infidelity. There are many misconceptions surrounding infidelity, and t...
When to Leave a Marriage | Ep #52
30 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share my thoughts on when it may be time to consider ending a marriage. Although in truth we can leave a marriage whenever we want,...
Knowing Yourself | Ep #51
24 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know who you are? When is the last time you answered that question? Most of us go through life thinking that who we are is what others define u...
Finding Safety in Your Body with Sariah Bastian | Ep #50
16 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us don't know how to feel. We find all kinds of creative ways to block our emotions, mostly because we weren't taught how to feel, or were shu...
Attachment Theory | Ep #49
09 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We all deal with problems in different ways, but attachment theory can shed some light on why you do the things you do, and why infidelity has affecte...
Abundance vs Scarcity | Ep #48
02 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you listen to podcasts and read self-help books, you have probably heard the terms "abundance mindset" and "scarcity mindset." However, in this epi...
Navigating Changing Relationships | Ep #47
25 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
To truly move forward from infidelity, internal changes need to be made. When we change on the inside, it becomes impossible to be the same as we were...
The Gift of Pain | Ep #46
18 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us don't look forward to pain. We often resist it, run away from it, or go into painful experiences with dread and fear. In this episode, I'll...
Letting Go of the "How" | Ep #45
11 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
As humans, we love certainty. We want to know all the details of exactly how things are going to transpire. Because we are not always privy to that in...
Your Future Self | Ep #44
04 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It makes perfect sense that our brains scan for things we know. But it can be very misleading. All the best things are in front of us. When we look to...
Regret | Ep #43
28 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Regret is an emotion that we all feel, but that we will do almost anything to avoid. The fear of regret can keep us stalled out, not taking the action...