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Chapter 1: What are the common misconceptions about Irishness and healing?
You know, in the world of personal development and wellness influencing and all of this, it seems like everyone's an expert on depression. Everyone's an expert on anxiety. But there's not so many experts on joy. And as I was thinking about this podcast, I realized that I'm putting a lot of focus on on the wounding of Irish people.
But I haven't really done an episode so far on what an unwounded Irish person would look like. What would a healed Irish person look like? So, ladies and gentlemen, ca-lími, bu-ca-lí, friends, good, loyal listeners. Welcome to Healing from Irishness. And in this episode, We're going to talk about the end game.
We're going to talk about how it might be to actually be completely healed from your Irishness. hello everybody um i know but i have a good excuse it was my birthday last month and i somehow just dropped into deep relaxation mode and forgot that i had a podcast um not a not a not a bad skill to have to be able to just drop a
everything and relax for a period. But I'm on a mission. My mission is to work on this heating from Irish stick. So I'm back to recording the podcast. What I want to talk about today is something that I think can be instructive, something that doesn't get spoken of enough. We all know what it is to be sick as Irish people. We all know what it is to be conditioned as Irish people.
We know what it's like to kind of carry the weight of Irishness. But what might it be like to be a deeply healed person? And so that's what I want to talk about today. What might a deeply healed person look like? And I think one of the first things to sort of recognize about deep healing is there's just a certain amount of confidence in being yourself.
There are no longer spaces where you have to censor yourself. I know, for example, a lot of us, we get to be ourselves in minimal areas, not all areas. We get to sort of be ourselves with some of the closest people in our lives, maybe some of our deep friends, maybe our partners, but not in all areas of our life. I think a mark of deep, deep healing is that you never put the mask on again.
You can tell the truth in all the rooms. You can be yourself in all the rooms. And there's something, I think for so many Irish people, because we've got such a, God, we do such a heavy a heavy line on this fitting in thing and people pleasing and not betraying the tribe. We have so much of that programmed into us that it's so difficult for us to truly be ourselves.
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Chapter 2: What does a deeply healed Irish person look like?
I know myself that I often run workshops and retreats and things, and people come along and they'll say, oh my God, I've said more to you, a group of strangers, than I've said to the people I've known my whole life. So this is the difficulty. So many of us as Irish people, we live these secret lives. Your mark of deep healing is when you're open everywhere.
I think the next thing, and this sounds so silly, but it's true, but you can receive a compliment. That's it. You can receive a compliment and it doesn't feel uncomfortable. You don't deflect. You don't go into this place of awkwardness. Do you know what I mean?
Like the awkwardness of when Irish people are expressing compliments to each other and how I jump into this dance of, oh, it was easy to do. Sure, you could do it. It doesn't matter. This, being able to receive a compliment, being able to receive positivity,
and own it, and say, ah, yes, you're right, that's beautiful, and not get hampered with these internal thoughts of, oh my God, I've been so arrogant, or I'm being so full of myself. That's another sign of deep healing. Something else, and it's kind of the flip side of receiving a compliment, is you can actually feel joy in someone as well. There's a Buddhist term for this. It's called mudita.
And it's when you feel joy from others' joy. And it's kind of amazing because there is such, and there are so many outlets and spaces and opportunities for joy. If we can just de-center joy, if we can uncouple joy from competition, quite often, you know, as Irish people in particular, we have this kind of begrudgery flex thing that we do.
If somebody does really well, we feel resentment, we feel hate, resentment. is really just an indicator that you're not doing something that you want. The grudgery in many forms is just us seeing somebody do something, someone give themselves permission to live a certain life, a permission that we don't give ourselves, and so we feel resentment.
So your mark of being deeply healed is that you can feel, you know, you can feel that joy is this universal thing. Somebody gets married. I'm so happy for them. Somebody receives a lot of money. I'm so happy for them. Somebody gets a book deal. I am so happy for them. The next thing in your deep healing is that you can have real intimacy.
Now, when I'm talking about real intimacy here, what I mean is that you can really, really get deep with people. You can get into the weeds of conversations with people. You can meet people at levels of emotional vulnerability that are not typically available to us. Irish people, we tend to, when things get deep, we tend to make jokes. We tend to get a little bit scared of the depths.
We get a little bit scared of what might happen if we start to tell this story, or what might happen to you if you have to listen to this story. So there's something about our deep healing that gives us the capacity to be able to really share with others. And that can often mean you're sharing something.
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Chapter 3: How does deep healing affect self-expression and confidence?
You'll be accused of getting above yourself, having notions, thinking that you're better. You know? You will have to learn to tolerate being misread over and over again. It's actually, I think in many ways, part of the reason a lot of us don't try or some of us abandon these deep healing journeys is because a huge part of it involves loneliness.
Once you start to step away from the conditions, once you start to just be yourself and be authentically yourself,
you no longer fit in and this involves kind of like a big journey a journey of just loneliness a journey of feeling like you're on the outside and even though there's some relief that you stepped away there's a huge amount of grief too that the thing that you thought was your structure
The tribe that you thought was, you know, your family and how you were going to be successful and so on and so forth. And when that falls away, it's terrifying. So kind of the... What I want to say is that the key problem with becoming deeply healed is we have to face our greatest fear. And the greatest fear is actually just being alone. We go through like the first years of our life.
We go through the first sort of chapter of our life, working so hard to fit in, developing strategies. Oh, if I do this, people like me. If I behave this way, people like me. When I do this, I get rewarded. When I'm this way, I get popular.
And as this inauthenticity, as this performative self loses satisfaction, as its appeal just dampens and dampens and dampens, our real self has to emerge eventually. We realize, ah, being true to me is so much more important than being true to others. Now,
I don't know, but I feel that once you are deeply healed and once you have gone through that phase of being able to tolerate being misread and where you're no longer worried about the accusations or feeding or when people accuse you of betraying them and so on, once you go through that phase, I think you can be in this place of being So I have a dog barking in the background there.
It doesn't agree with what I'm saying. You can get to this stage of just being deeply unbothered. And that really is what deep healing is. It's getting to this place where you are just deeply unbothered. You can be sovereign when
you go your love is this unquenchable fire inside of you that is not dependent upon the outside and when you get to that place you can be anywhere and you can be with anyone and that's what deep eating is so it's good to be back thanks for listening I'm going on tour the first two weeks of June. I'll be in various locations around Ireland.
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