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Hello Sport

#879 - Lazy Doggies

11 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What events are happening at Lander's Pocket?

0.031 - 11.57 Tom

Punters and Dribblers, your last opportunity to get some tickets to Lander's Pocket. That's right. Which is Thursday night, this Thursday, 14th of May, where we are having a Four Pines little Longest Drive golf event.

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11.59 - 36.291 Unknown

Yeah, we are. Listen, good numbers out the gate. The punter and the dribbler turning up en masse. So it's going to be a terrific vibe. Yep. Lander's Pocket, 6 p.m. Thursday, this Thursday. This Thursday. As a rev up, a warm up for what is the biggest weekend of the rugby league year. Tickets are in the bio, Tom. Yep. And in the show notes. Yep. Move quickly because time is running out. See you.

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36.311 - 37.373 Unknown

Because it's very soon. Four points.

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38.355 - 49.992 Tom

You are listening to the Outlaw Sport Podcast. What's up, punters and dribblers? Welcome back to the Hello Sport podcast, home of unqualified opinion and unwavering bias.

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50.312 - 67.787 Tom

Firstly, I would like to start by apologizing on behalf of everyone here at Pipedreams Media and the Shane Kick Productions to the first lady of rugby league, Yvonne Sampson, for having bar flies flying all around her head during the interview.

68.347 - 79.033 Unknown

Listen, it wasn't good enough, Tom. No. I just want to reassure the audience. that plans are afoot. Yep. Plans are in place.

79.053 - 89.384 Tom

We have plans in place to rid ourselves of barflies. Now, we can't go into those plans, but we're also anti the murder of innocent barflies, so just know that.

89.925 - 105.138 Unknown

Yeah, we are. I mean, we're pro-living in harmony with all things, punters, dribblers. But there are high-level plans in place. High-level. Plans that are too… Too immature.

105.519 - 112.972 Tom

The plans are too immature at this point. To share with the punter and the dribbler. But they've been shared with others. Yeah, they've been shared with others. You're just not ready for those plans yet.

Chapter 2: What apology is made to Yvonne Sampson?

124.012 - 143.243 Tom

Yvonne Sampson, O'Keefe, Nii Sampson, she, being the first lady of rugby league, deserved significantly better. And, yeah, every time I saw her swat a barfly, a little part of me did die. But she's the best. She's fucking awesome. So she was cool with it.

0

143.403 - 146.629 Unknown

The barflies only come out with guests. Have you noticed that? I know.

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146.929 - 149.293 Tom

They like the bright lights.

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149.273 - 150.574 Unknown

They love the bright lights.

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150.734 - 152.696 Tom

They're such fucking whores for the bright lights.

152.736 - 157.621 Unknown

They're drawn to the first lady of rugby league. It's as simple as that. There's no barflies here now.

157.641 - 160.464 Tom

There's none. And, I mean, that's actually a little offensive.

161.905 - 162.566 Unknown

But accurate.

162.726 - 178.521 Tom

No, it's accurate. Like it makes sense. I get it. You get the first lady of rugby league and they want to come and sticky beak. But I'm also a little offended they don't think that, you know, that us, that the propaganda podcasters don't get a little bit of bloody, what, we're not worthy of a barfly for fuck's sake?

Chapter 3: What are the plans for the upcoming race in Bathurst?

430.798 - 432.54 Tom

Man, the Seagulls. The people's team. The people's team.

0

433.401 - 438.927 Unknown

Pride of the Peninsula, pride of the league. You just, there's nowhere else to start. 32-4.

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438.947 - 461.222 Tom

32-4 against the Broncos. Oh, they were a fucking cute cop side, man. Were they? Oh, fuck, were they? Let me just take, can you get the team up? Just get their team up. Look, shout out to Willie Burns. They're just ready to go. I just want to look at their team. Just in terms of like you want to call me a fucking, you want to call it a Q Cup team. Team lists. One more across. That's team stats.

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461.342 - 461.884 Tom

No, other way.

0

462.886 - 467.396 Unknown

Up. No. You were right there, brother. You were so close to glory.

467.857 - 492.957 Tom

There it is, lad. Rhys Walsh, oh, you mean the fucking greatest player in the competition. Josiah Carapani, he's an up-and-comer. Jesse Arthurs, he was one of their starting players all last year. Gemma Shibasaki, an Australian centre. Antonio Verhoeven, highly touted future star. Ezra Mamm, right-o. Ben Hunt, right-o. Jack Kijewski, one of the great journeymen of all time. Corey Pakes, highly.

493.217 - 495.4 Tom

He's like their fucking starting hooker, isn't he?

495.38 - 498.065 Unknown

Yeah. Preston Rickey related to Jordan Rickey.

498.085 - 507.764 Tom

Xavier Willison, next big thing. Jordan Rickey already there. Patrick Carrigan, Australian Queensland. What are we talking about? Sure, it drops off a bit on the bench, but when doesn't it?

Chapter 4: How does the discussion shift to the performance of NRL teams?

962.846 - 967.577 Tom

No, no, no. We are a top four side. Yes. No, we are a top four side.

0

967.597 - 968.519 Unknown

We're not in the top four.

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968.58 - 972.79 Tom

But we're a top four side. But we're a top four side. Yeah. And you look at the way some of these other teams are getting about their work.

0

972.83 - 987.424 Unknown

Now, like, this is how easy it is to work out if you're a top four side or not. Like, it's so easy to do that you and I are going to play a little game. It's such an easy one. Now, Penrith is number one. And at the moment, I'm keeping them there because they're legit. Yep. The Warriors. The Warriors.

0

988.653 - 993.001 Tom

Listen, again, I'm not – I drew the ire of the Warriors in 2025.

993.021 - 1004.383 Unknown

They're a good side. They're a good side, not a good side. No, but are we better than them on our day? I think so. I think so. Sydney Roosters. Now, they're a good side. They're a good side. They're a good side, and I'd probably still have them slightly above these early going.

1004.363 - 1022.464 Tom

The thing about the Roosters is, and you'll remember when they famously bought some other premierships in the past, namely the 18 and 19 premierships that they purchased. When they purchased Cooper Cronk and James Tedesco in the same year, something no club's ever really able to do because it should be illegal. But when they purchased those two players, they started off a little slow.

1022.745 - 1036.146 Tom

But then once the gel... The gelling of the sides started to happen. They kicked on. And I feel like what we're seeing in the Sydney Roosters of purchasing premiership fame is a side that's starting to gel. They're starting to gel.

1036.166 - 1043.398 Unknown

They're starting to gel. And it's concerning. So they're looking pretty good. South Sydney, all right, great win over the Sharks who have no underbelly but also can't defend really.

Chapter 5: What humorous scandals are mentioned in the AFL?

2331.701 - 2344.989 Will Schofield

Anyway. This whiteboard saga. I mean, these are the sorts of scandals that go on in the AFL. And it's just like, it's humor after humor. It's very mild behavior. Like AFL, I think as a whole, it's like quite mild. So.

0

Chapter 6: What is the significance of the Brisbane Lions' whiteboard session?

2345.15 - 2346.413 Will Schofield

Yeah.

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2346.894 - 2358.755 Tom

Until you have fucking like coaches dealing meth. Who's doing that? I don't know. I thought one of them got caught with drugs like a couple of years ago. It was a b****. Obviously, let it that out. Beep his name.

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Chapter 7: How do the Brisbane Lions handle player evaluations?

2359.536 - 2362.28 Tom

Was a b**** caught with fucking meth or some shit?

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2364.122 - 2365.204 Will Schofield

Oh, look. Get it?

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Chapter 8: What are the implications of the Dragons' performance this season?

2365.224 - 2388.132 Will Schofield

Look. I'm going to beep out. Allegedly. Don't worry. Don't worry. Allegedly. Allegedly. And I've got no idea exactly the truth, but probably. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. The whiteboard scenario, right? So Brisbane Lions who have been back-to-back premiers, they lost to Granville before that. So they're sort of, you know, absolute weapons, right?

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2388.152 - 2408.012 Will Schofield

They do a whiteboard session before every game where they write every player's name on the board and they write strengths and weaknesses. And for their good players, it'll be like Zach Merritt, strength, ball-winning ability, contested ball, clearances, and his weakness is he's selfish, loves getting the pill, doesn't pass to his teammates, blah, blah, blah. It's very footy-related.

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2408.296 - 2428.887 Will Schofield

They go down the list and I can only imagine what happened. They get all the players in the room and like, you know, you're going through 25 players. So at about player 18, you're getting a bit bored and you start making things up. And they got to Jackson Pryor and Jackson used to play at Brisbane and So they're doing Essendon, who now plays at Essendon.

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2430.75 - 2453.756 Will Schofield

And they get to Jackson Pryor, their former teammate, and they go strengths. Also, they go weaknesses, shit kick, shit bloke. Fucking, you know, those are the three. Shit kick, shit bloke, and blah. They're clearly having a laugh. They all know. They're all living. Strengths, there's none. And then... Halfway down, it lists his partner's name.

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2453.776 - 2472.905 Will Schofield

I can't remember exactly what it was, but like, as a strength for Jack O'Brien as a footballer, it's his missus. I think... I think that, you know, if you know someone, you boys have been in WhatsApp, but, you know, if you know someone personally and you're just like, mate, you're this, you're this footballer, at least you missed a good shot. Like, you know, I think it was meant in that way.

2472.945 - 2494.68 Will Schofield

Anyway, someone's gone walking through the rooms pre-game, an Essendon fan, getting a bit of a tour, and he's seen the board, taken a photo, chucked it on X, chucked it on social media, and... Tell you what, didn't they come for the Brisbane Lions? You've got the left side sort of saying, how dare you? You've got former players coming in and saying this and that.

2495.141 - 2515.727 Will Schofield

You've got people who don't understand any context whatsoever, unacceptable behaviour. And Brisbane just front-footed it. I loved it. Brisbane just said, just fucking calm down. This is what we do every week. It was a personal thing. We've spoken to Jacko. Oh, look, maybe if we had our time again, we wouldn't do it. But you know what? You took private information.

2515.747 - 2522.215 Will Schofield

Hey, maybe we might sue you for defamation. Maybe we might sue you for stealing IP. They were talking about suing people. Oh, Jesus. I loved it.

2522.235 - 2540.456 Tom

They were going to sue the guy. I heard a clip of the dad on the fucking – like he called up the guy who took the photo and he called up the writer and he's like – I didn't like know that I couldn't take a photo of it. And you're like, this fucking dead shit's still like calling up radio stations and shit. It's like, yeah. You took a fucking photo, mate.

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