A Secret Source of Connection
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. Early one morning in March 1964, a woman named Kitty Genovese was on her way home from the bar where she worked. She parked her car and was walking toward her apartment building when a man attacked and killed her. Over the years, Kitty Genovese's murder has been the focus of countless books, movies, and psychology research papers. It drew attention not only because it was a grisly crime, but because it supposedly explained a deep flaw in human nature.
How does the bystander effect relate to our willingness to help others?
The New York Times published an article that said dozens of people saw the murder or heard Kitty Genovese screaming for help, but no one intervened. When someone did call the police, it was too late.
In the decades that followed, the case came to symbolize a psychological phenomenon known as the bystander effect. When lots of people see something is wrong, the theory goes, each person wrongly assumes someone else will step up to help. The net effect is that as the number of potential helpers increases, the number of people who actually help decreases. In recent years, psychologists and journalists have re-examined the facts of the Kitty Genovese story and walked back some of the claims. The Times has said that its initial reporting was flawed and exaggerated. I think the power of the Kitty Genovese story lies in the fact that in everyday life, we all notice that we are not as helpful and brave as we would like to be.
We look away from people who are suffering, we cross the street to avoid an altercation. Even when the stakes are low for personal safety, we don't extend a hand to others who need help. This week on Hidden Brain, the curious psychology behind a phenomenon that is all around us, and how understanding a quirk inside our minds can help us become the kind of people we admire.
My name is Gary Knight. I'm the CEO of the Seven Foundation, which is a media nonprofit. I'm also a very keen amateur cyclist.
I first met Gary in 2009 at a journalism fellowship program. A big man with a gregarious personality, he filled every room he entered. Gary was a photographer and had covered conflicts around the world, including in the Balkans, the Arab world and Southeast Asia. He was a member of the iconic photo agency called Seven. I hadn't been in touch with Gary for some years, but recently met up with him. He seemed to be moving his shoulder gingerly and I asked him what happened. The story he told me made me think about some surprising research into the nature of kindness. We'll get to that in a moment. Gary told me that each year he plans a biking adventure with friends.
The thing that we're looking for the most are really steep climbs, incredible views and sort of mythological rides.
On his most recent trip before our meeting, Gary and his friends decided to go biking in the west of Scotland.
We got up very early, drove for an hour to this climb called Balaknabar, which is an old cattle road that goes over a mountain. It's one of the steepest roads in the British Isles, reaches about 20% on a bike, and it's a single track road. So that means that there's really only room for one car and a bicycle or perhaps a motorcycle. My friends usually climb on their bikes a lot faster than I do because I'm a lot heavier than they are. But I descend much faster because I'm a lot heavier than they are. And I have a lot of confidence on the bike. So after this tortuous climb, which I think took about an hour and a half, we descended down into this little town where we had a coffee and something to eat.
And I remember passing this sort of group of motorcyclists on the way down this road. They waved at us, we waved at them. They were pretty much doing the same trip we were, except on bikes.
Soon, it was time for the next section.
We set off again, up a gentle climb, and then another really steep descent. And I was quite far ahead of my friends. I remember I was doing 55 kilometers an hour, which I think is about 32, 34 miles per hour going down this road. And I could see quite far ahead. There was a bend in the road and a bridge on the bend.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–0:42
2
How does the bystander effect relate to our willingness to help others?
0:42–8:27
3
What surprising research findings challenge our understanding of kindness?
8:27–12:20
4
How can we overcome our hesitation to offer help?
12:20–26:38
5
What role does feeling seen play in our emotional wellbeing?
26:38–37:09
6
How can we foster a sense of mattering in our relationships?
37:09–45:34
7
What are the psychological benefits of expressing gratitude?
45:34–1:00:29
8
How can we balance the need to matter with maintaining healthy boundaries?
1:00:29–1:27:39