Roy's The Boy
episodePreviously titled “Ep 245 - Roy's The Boy” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 3, 2026
Transcript
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What exciting news do Kevin and PJ share about their upcoming tour?
Exciting news, Gillies. We are bringing our show, Happy Campers, to the Southern Hemisphere.
Get ready, babes, because we're going to Auckland, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and parts.
I'm so excited for a bit of sun in November and December.
Don't worry, babe. I packed the Factor 50.
Fabulous. Also, if there's any cute tour guides who want to show me around, I'll be looking for someone to do so.
If you were there last year, you know it's not just a show. It's an extravaganza. It's an experience, isn't it?
Make sure to grab your tickets via the link in the episode description. Have you ever experienced the stress of trying to change over the till roll?
At the table. At the table. Or when people are at the till waiting to pay and there's a queue.
I was on a nine-hour shift. At the end of a nine-hour shift, it was so busy, right?
How do Cork City Pride jerseys impact queer visibility in sports?
And the till roll ran out. And I looked up at this girl, tears in my eyes, and I just goes, please tell me you have cash. because I couldn't I couldn't load it it was so stressful and also if you're mid transaction sometimes it doesn't print and all this stuff is so annoying and then at the end of the night your supervisor's going we're missing a receipt from the PDQ and I'm going what does that mean I don't care I don't care I just want my money so I can buy nice things I don't care about this pizzeria you know what I mean I don't fucking like it I don't even like the focaccia bread they make it's too stale no offense Sharon
it's your favorite queers back in your ears it's i'm grandmam hey girlies i'm kevin and i'm pj and welcome back to i'm grandmam girls i'm done with the internet today i'm done on the way here
on the way here I saw a reel and it was this fella looking kind of baby face looking into the camera above him over like classical music it said the art of maturing and then the next image was just him with a moustache
I was like, unplug the servers, girl. Some people, right? And please don't take offense to this. Some people are dumb bastards.
And I know we just did an episode on different types of intelligence. Some people are thick. Yeah, but one type of intelligence some people are is thick. You know what I mean? I have no time for any of that. He thought he was saying something so profound. Yeah. And I was like, girl, Socrates is rolling around in the grave. And he... He's laughing at you. Yeah. And he's calling you a thick prick as well. No, I would say a moustache on a lad makes them a hundred times hotter.
Oh, way hotter.
Yeah.
Way hotter. I was chatting to a guy on... It was Grindr. I was trying to think of another app.
In the library. I was chatting to a guy in the library.
and on his profile pic he had a moustache or whatever and I was so into him and I wrote to him but obviously girl I'm not going off the one pic right we know at this point you need several piccies because everyone can get one good picture of themselves if you were the fogliest person on the world you could get a good pic and as well AI you know everything else yeah and I said any more pics and he sent down an album and he said oh the moustache is gone block to lease No, maybe you should have sent him on a link to some stick-on ones.
Some fancy dress ones.
It can transform a face.
You could be like, wear this mustache when we're hooking up and then just grow it back underneath it.
And just grow it back because... Whatever about a beard hiding a multitude?
What moments of stupidity do listeners share with Kevin and PJ?
Yeah. You know, some lads, they have a beard and they could look handsome and then they get rid and it's like goodbye and God bless.
It gives people a chin as well.
It gives people more of a shade to the face.
I feel like this little like goat, what's this called? Goatee. Goatee. Is it a goatee? Makes me kind of sick. The bum fluff on my chin. Basically, I think it gives me a bit more of a chin.
Your American redneck chin.
It gives me a bit more of a chin.
Yeah, more definition.
Yeah.
It's life in HD. Okay. But with the moustache, it's not really hiding stuff. It just does wonders for the face. And it's dirty. It's hot. They're like handlebars.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What exciting news do Kevin and PJ share about their upcoming tour?
0:00–1:15
2
How do Cork City Pride jerseys impact queer visibility in sports?
1:15–3:59
3
What moments of stupidity do listeners share with Kevin and PJ?
3:59–11:46
4
What insights do they offer about being wrong and admitting mistakes?
11:46–11:56
5
What funny story does a listener share about believing in a physical soul?
11:56–12:25
6
What humorous experiences do they share about working while hungover?
12:25–14:41
7
How do Kevin and PJ react to the listener's story about the black market?
14:41–17:03
8
What conclusions do they draw about intelligence and moments of stupidity?
17:03–55:38