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Chapter 1: What are the highlights of Ruby's recap of Love Stories?
This episode is brought to you by Bumble. Find meaningful connections on Bumble today. Hello, it's Ruby here, the host of Inherited. I'm popping up in your feed on a Friday to tell you about some of our favourite moments from our Love Stories series. We did these back in February with our friends at Bumble.
You're about to hear from Phoebe Simmons, Tali Smythe and her partner, Ned Rort, and Scott O'Halloran and his husband, Marcus. All of them have... very different, unique, beautiful love stories. I learned a lot interviewing them all. And yeah, I hope you enjoy it and it touches you in some way. This series was really special.
We're going to start off with Phoebe's story and how she met her husband in her mid-30s.
Your 20s are for making mistakes and your 30s are to be able to learn from them. And I think about that not only with relationships, but also friendships and careers as well. Definitely. Did you ever have a moment where you sort of felt like giving up on finding love throughout those years or even when you came back? I found a few of my experiences and the...
I guess, raft between where my friends were at. And I was at quite disheartening at times. When I came back, it was when the apps were really booming. And so it was great that we had access to that. And it was a new form of dating. But yeah, I didn't have, you know, I guess it depends how you define success, but I wasn't able to find the one.
I was single for about five or six years before I met Sean and lots of great stories. Um, But nothing really solid that I could wrap my hands around. Did you change anything about your approach before you met Sean, do you think? I think there was a lot of growth.
And I think it's that whole, you know, I know it's such a cliche, but it's like, you know, it's when you really know yourself and when you feel truly comfortable in yourself that that's when you'll be ready. I know it's easier said than done, but that was definitely my experience as well. And I remember, you know, people say to you, it's a numbers game. It's a numbers game.
You've just got to get up. Exactly. But, you know, then someone said to me, but you only need one. And I think that's really true. You just need to find that one. But it's very hard to find.
I know. I resonate with what you're saying, though. Knowing in yourself, I think, and almost having more self-worth.
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Chapter 2: How did Phoebe meet her husband in her mid-30s?
I think in the last few years, in my 30s especially, I'm about to turn 33, going, no, this is actually what I deserve. And these are actually my boundaries and what I'm looking for in a partner. Being quite intentional about that, too. Yes. Would you often find yourself gravitating back to the same people or patterns as well? Yeah.
Yes, but I think just the way that you were able to articulate that, I wouldn't have been able to articulate that turning 33. I hope I am now. But that's great and I think that's the whole point, right? It's like setting boundaries and things, whereas I was probably quite unmoored and just so keen to grab on to something.
So I would say I probably had less boundaries, but I learnt enough along the way.
What would you say to other women who are in their 30s or mid-30s And who do feel a bit behind when it comes to finding love or a partner?
It's going to be okay. It can just happen on a dime. And I think that the most, oh my gosh, this sounds very Sex and the City, doesn't it? But like the most like important relationship that you can have is with yourself. And the freedom and the independence that I had as a single person rather than being married with two kids is phenomenal.
completely different and so you have the opportunity to really invest in yourself and figure out what's really important to you and so the more time that you can be selfish and spend that time getting to know yourself I think the happier you will be regardless of your relationship status.
Yeah, they are years that you won't ever get back and you look on fondly and go, wow, I could just get up, jump on that plane and go travelling. Oh, my gosh. I had that like when I found out I was pregnant with Remy, which is something I really wanted.
I had this huge crisis between probably like six weeks and 12 weeks where I was like, I was saying to Sean, I'm never going to exactly that, be able to get on a plane and go to Paris alone.
ever again um and he was like when was the last time you got on a plane and went to Paris I was like well actually when I was in London you know like that whole world it's like a really big change from everything changes and so don't take for granted every stage is in that stage for a reason and you've got to make the most of what you've got in front of you while you've got it
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Chapter 3: What challenges did Phoebe face while dating in her 30s?
Yeah.
And I basically said, if you're not keen for that soon, I'm not going to say within the next six months. No. Within the next 12 months. But if you're not ready for that sooner rather than later, let me know now. All good. Totally within your right. But I don't have another year to waste. No.
And I don't want to get attached and start really investing in this. And I think so many people can relate to that. So many women especially. Yeah.
And you were really, he was like, nope, I want the same things. We're on the same page. And we did have a lot of those big conversations pretty early on. He knew I'd frozen my eggs. He knew about my mum's younger onset dementia. So we did have those really big, heavy conversations pretty early on. And we knew we were on the same page with the stuff that mattered.
And I think that's what me and my ex didn't talk about. It's one thing, you know, having these lofty ideas, but if you're not on, not only wanting the same things, but kind of on the same timeline, then you're going to come into a couple of issues, I think.
And if you're not having those conversations in your relationship, I mean, it might be different for everyone, but I know I can feel if that's not coming up, maybe they're not the right person for me. It should naturally... If they're things that you want.
If they look like they want the ground to swallow them up every time you bring up marriage or children, it's probably a bit of a red flag.
I know, yeah, Tali, of course, you're an ambassador for Dementia Australia and it's a cause that's very close to your heart after the loss of your mum. So you spoke about that on that date at the Flying Dark. How have you two continued to navigate that conversation? Is it something that comes up often still?
I mean, yes and no. We've spoken about this before. I think it certainly weighs on you a lot heavier.
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