Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
This episode of Inherited is brought to you by Pandora. It's more than jewelry. It's a moment to celebrate you. Explore new collections made for self-gifting online and in-store at Pandora. Welcome to Inherited. I'm your host, Ruby Hall, and I'm popping up in this intro before we get into today's conversation because we did have some technical difficulties while recording this interview.
Just at the start, it is with a very special guest, my nana, Kay Hall, who has just turned 80. I was actually over in Perth a couple of months ago for my brother's wedding and her 80th, so we recorded this a few days after. She grew up in New Zealand in the 50s and the 60s, my Nana did, and unexpectedly fell pregnant when she was 17 and was forced to give her baby up for adoption.
A few years later, she was with my granddad and they had three beautiful girls, one being my mum, and at that time in her life, she opened up about her hidden grief and was wanting to reach out and reconnect with her adopted son. So this is my Nana's story and what she knows at 80.
Chapter 2: What life lessons does Kay Hall share from her experiences?
I hope you enjoy this conversation.
I was very close to my grandparents, just like you are with me, Ruby. Probably not as close, but they were caring. So I went and stayed with them a lot and had dinner with them a lot.
Like I have. Yes. I've grown up really close with my Nana. I've lived with you. I lived with you when I was a little girl. I lived with you when I was in my early to mid-twenties. I've always adored going over to Nana and Grandad's for a sleepover, so much so I've
I wanted to live with you. You did.
You played a really huge part in my upbringing and in my brother's. And of course you have, how many grandchildren do you have?
I have 12.
You have 12. I'm the eldest. I was the first. A surprise all those years ago, wasn't I?
Yes, you were.
Well, when you were 16, you unexpectedly fell pregnant.
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Chapter 3: How did Kay cope with giving her firstborn son up for adoption?
Were you 16?
No, I was 17. So what happened, Ruby, I went to high school. And I just want to say that in those days, which was early 1960s, that we weren't told anything about sex. We didn't have close relationships with our parents like people do now. We weren't cuddled or kissed. We were just told, behave yourself, don't go out with boys. And that's kind of, we had to find out ourselves how that worked out.
Yes.
So I really couldn't wait to leave home. It wasn't a happy place. And I think now when I look back, it's taken me a long time to work that out, but I think my parents were very unhappy.
They were married?
Yes, yes. And in those days you didn't get divorced. And also in those days there was no support for a single mother. You couldn't leave. There was nothing. You had nothing. So you stayed. And so I know that I couldn't wait to get out.
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Chapter 4: What challenges did Kay face as a woman in the 1950s and 60s?
So I went nursing, and in those days you lived in a hostel. We call it the nurse's home. So I went to live in the nurse's home with 32 other girls. There were other girls there, but on our floor there were 32. Yes. And I loved it. I loved nursing. I just loved it.
So what does your day-to-day look like?
We worked six days a week, five days on the wards, one day in a study and one day off. And I always remember we got seven pounds, seven and six, I think it was a fortnight, and five pound of that went for our board and lodging. So we didn't have much left over. We had to buy our own stockings, but we had so much fun.
Did you? What would you do with the girls?
Well, one of the things we did, we bought a car, which was a 1938 Pontiac.
Yeah.
This big old brown car, and six of us bought it for, I think it was six pound, eight and six each. Anyway, it worked out to 50 pounds, which money was then, it wasn't dollars. Yeah. And we drove it. I didn't have my licence. I did actually think I got my licence then, only two of us had our licences.
Hmm.
And we would drive it around town and it would break down and we'd get the crank handle out and we just had such a good time. Did you go out then and, like, party as well? We did, but, you know, in the nurse's home we had to ask permission to go out.
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Chapter 5: What was the impact of Kay's nursing career on her life?
I've heard all those stories. Mm-hmm. And she said, oh no, I've got someone I know and they've got two little girls and they know they're adopted and they always think about their birth mother on their birthdays. And we chatted a bit more and that was it.
But when I went into labour, she came and sat with me, talked to me, but I was in agony and I was, you know, it was long labour and it was terrible. And after five days after I'd had my baby and I was totally in shock, she brought him to me and She said, don't tell anyone. Can you believe that, Ruby? They didn't have any right to do that, to keep their babies from us anyway.
It was this big conspiracy.
Right. They just decided that's what happens.
She's having the baby adopted. Don't let her see the baby.
She'll get attached.
So she brought him to me and then she left him for an hour and she took him away. And my parents came to take me home, back to South Island, and she came outside and she said, your baby's going to be fine. He's going to a farm. And he's going to have two sisters. And I knew straight away, I knew where he was. How did you know?
Because she told me she had a friend that had two little girls that had been adopted. And she chose my son to go there. She placed him with her friend.
So you connected with Jonathan.
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Chapter 6: How did Kay's relationship with her husband evolve over the years?
You had a huge party. Yes. And I just thought that's so amazing. It makes sense, you know, you've been on earth for 80 years and have so many friends, new friends and old friends. Yes. Talk to me about some of your friendships along the way and how they've shaped you and what they've meant to you.
I think I'm an enabler. We've just moved into a little cove about nine years ago and there's only about 11 people there, 11 and four little children. So I set up a WhatsApp group and now we meet. I like organising.
You do.
I'm very organised. I love people to get together. And you're very social.
Yeah.
I like to enable people to be with each other and I think, yeah, the other people I've met have been through social work, my friends that I've worked with, people that we've lived next door to, neighbours we've got friendly with, and I've held on to my old friends in New Zealand.
I mean, I write to them nearly every other day because now they're losing their husbands, you know, there's things happening for them because they're all turning... But when we all met back there, we all laughed and said, we don't feel like we've changed a bit.
That's so special. You're still in contact with them.
Well, because they were caring of me.
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