In 1996 a toy called Grow-A-Guy—marketed to “fizz, grow, and become a buddy overnight”—was recalled after officials linked it to a series of serious incidents. The recall notice and health warnings promised containment: 99.9% of known units located and destroyed, they said. But rumors always keep a fraction alive.Thirty years later, a routine wellness check at a quiet house outside Seattle turned into a different kind of recall. Officers found a figure in the home who, according to reports, had been living there since 1996. Medical examiners described the occupant as having no pulse and “not even human” in witness summaries (we mark these as reported observations). Neighbors remembered Grow-A-Guy ad campaigns and whispered about units never returned.This episode is a Critique: we compare official recall language and containment procedures with how rumors morph—from an unfinished product to a living myth. We avoid gore and speculation about mechanisms; instead we look at how a product panic and a few missing items can seed an entire folklore that lasts generations.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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