Stop Negotiating With Your Cravings for Alcohol
episode
Journey to the Sunnyside | Mindful Drinking & Alcohol Health
13 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 1 month ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why do we end up negotiating with alcohol cravings instead of pausing?
Welcome to Journey to the Sunny Side, the podcast that helps you build a better relationship with alcohol and uncover the secrets to mindful living. Each episode brings you real stories, expert insights, and practical tools to support your goals. Whether you're cutting back, taking a break, or thinking about quitting for good. I'm your host, Mike Hardenbrook, best-selling author, neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert. This show is brought to you by Sunnyside, a personalized science-backed program that helps you to drink less through habit change, coaching, and community. And for added support, we now have Sunnyside Met. A clinical option offering access to compounded naltrexone. a prescription medication that reduces cravings and helps prevent binge drinking.
Ready to start your journey? Get your free 15-day trial at Sunnyside.co. Hey everybody, welcome back to another one of these 10 minute Mondays. Today I want to start off with a moment. And this will probably be a moment that you're familiar with. Maybe it's the end of the day and you're standing in your kitchen. Maybe you just closed your laptop. Maybe the kids finally went down. Maybe it's even just the middle of the day and you're out walking and this thought comes to your mind, a drink would be nice. And at first that's all it is. It's just a thought. But then something else starts. Maybe it's just one. You know, I've been good this week. It doesn't really count because I'll reset tomorrow. Or maybe even worse, I already went over my plan, so what's the point?
That's not just a craving anymore.
How does the brain turn everyday cues into a urge for a drink?
That begins a negotiation. And once you're negotiating, the craving It's already starting to drive the conversation. And so today I want to help you to interrupt this. Ultimately, what we're talking about today is something called urge surfing. I have mentioned this in other episodes, but today I really want to bring this into the spotlight and give you a better picture of why this is a proven method that works and also how to do it effectively. And it comes out of real addiction research. It's been used clinically for decades. And it's one of the most practical tools that I've found for people trying to drink less. Now it's not because it makes cravings disappear, but because it gives you something to do in that gap between the urge and the decision.
And that gap is where a lot of people need support, and it's where this practice lives. Here's something that helped me to understand this differently. A craving, it's not just a thought, it's a body event. So what do I mean by that? Your brain has spent years building associations, certain moods, certain times of the day. And at some point, alcohol becomes that automatic answer for a lot of those. Maybe it's the end of the workday. Maybe it's sitting on your favorite comfy couch. Maybe it's the end to a long week. That transition from working to not working. Your body registers the cue first before even consciously deciding anything. And then your brain labels it, I needed a drink. But that label might not be the whole story.
Researcher Rajita Sina has spent years studying stress and alcohol cravings, and one of her findings is that stress doesn't just make you want to drink more, it also changes how your brain is actually operating in the moment. Your attention focuses on that, your future maybe gets a little more distant.
What does research say about stress, attention, and the intensity of cravings?
And the reasons that you wanted to cut back feel less real. and the next five minutes might feel like the only thing that matters. Which is why thinking your way out of cravings is so hard. You're not reasoning from this neutral place. Part of your brain is already skewed towards relief. It's already making the case for a fast reward. Most people think they have two options give in or fight harder. But fighting has its own problems. When you're fighting a craving, you tighten around it. You start monitoring yourself. Is it gone yet? Why am I still thinking about this? And when that happens, you don't just have the urge. You have the urge plus the stress about the urge.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do we end up negotiating with alcohol cravings instead of pausing?
0:00–1:41
2
How does the brain turn everyday cues into a urge for a drink?
1:41–3:37
3
What does research say about stress, attention, and the intensity of cravings?
3:37–5:30
4
Why does fighting a craving often make it stronger?
5:30–7:23
5
What is ‘urge surfing’ and how does it create a gap between urge and action?
7:23–8:29
6
How can you use body‑based language to separate yourself from the craving?
8:29–9:45
7
What practical steps can you take in the next ten minutes to ride out a craving?
9:45–10:53
8
How does consistent urge‑surfing change your relationship with alcohol over time?
10:53–13:32