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Chapter 1: What is microdosing and how is it discussed in this episode?
We said we'd keep it tight. We would 100% lied. We did. I'm Deirdre O'Kane. I'm Eva Doard. So keep it tight is basically the unfiltered chats that we'd normally have in the WhatsApp. The kind of carry on you'd screech off for your mate. Maybe like your mum. No overthinking. We kind of just let it all out. And somehow people keep showing up to hear more.
Follow Keep It Tight wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday. Now brought to you by ACAST. Well, we start. Yes, tell me your news. I'll tell you my news now. You're going to love my news. Oh. I've been drunk for two days. Two days.
Drunk?
Yeah. How come? Well, I went to London to go to a 60th birthday party on Sunday morning. The party started at two o'clock in the day. So I started drinking then. Went home around midnight. Got up the next day, bit of a head in me. Had a coffee, had a Prosecco. Kept going because the flight was at 10 o'clock last night. Oh, my goodness.
It was either, you know, I was meeting people all day, meeting friends all day. And I decided, of course, I decided, well, I'm on my holidays and my fellow holidays have started, which they haven't. They're starting tomorrow. I'm going on my holidays tomorrow. But, you know, when you're going to a party at two o'clock in the day, the 60th, that doesn't end till midnight.
Well, you're off, aren't you? So I just said, well, fuck this. It's started. You might as well keep on going. See, I'm always interested with your drinking habits. How many drinks did you actually have? I don't know I mean I drank consistently all day Okay.
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Chapter 2: What personal experiences do Deirdre and Emma share about alcohol consumption?
I grazed. It was food. It was food, so I grazed. I tried to drink water, but really I didn't succeed. I'm very bad at drinking the water. I tell you what I did do. You're very good at pacing, Deirdre. I am. I did pace. I drank all day. I've never seen a pacer like you, to be perfectly honest. Thank you. What a compliment. I'm taking that. Do I get a prize for that? I don't know.
I suppose the prize that you get is that you're able to maintain a state of just slightly being sozzled and never like fully incoherent. No, no, I'm not. No, no, no, I'd never get. When I get to that stage, I'm gone into a toilet. Yeah, you're gone. You're well. Oh, gone. Sorry. You say toilet, but evidence would show us you mean a bush toilet. Well, whatever. Like I can't continue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's over. Yeah. I need to be in bed and it's done and I'm gone. You won't see me. You won't see me staggering around still talking. God's gone. Not so. No, no, no. And that is my, that's the worst. I do not like, I don't, you know, I don't get to there if I can help it. That's why I'm a pacer. I've learned. You'd want to have learned, you're nearly 60, going to 60th.
You'd want to have learned by now. And Camille, whose 60th was it? An actor. Was it Showbiz? Showbiz. Of course. Showbiz. It was in Chiswick. So it was a party right back in our old neighbourhood where we lived for 10 years. And honestly, it's always going to feel like home.
Chiswick will always be like home yeah well 10 years when you've lived in a place for 10 years and you know every shop and every inch of it and every supermarket and back alley it's home yeah do you miss it would you ever go back I don't think I'd go back to Chiswick. I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
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Chapter 3: How does nutrition advice influence lifestyle choices?
I'm quite in the mood to live somewhere else again. But that's easier said than done. And all my work is here. So I don't know how I could pull that off. But like a little bit of me feels, you don't have to be wedded to this house, love. You know, we all decide you can't move and it's hard. Anyway, as it happens, there's one more year of school. I would say, yeah.
I was just going to say, maybe don't bring that up with your child. There's nothing wedding me to this house. I don't need to be here. He is. I do need to be here for one more year. After that, then I only need to be here at the weekends to work. Okay, true, yeah. So what are you going to do? I could Monday to Thursday, ideally. I could Monday to Thursday in Barcelona.
And I could Thursday night to Monday morning in Dublin. Yeah. That would be ideal. So I just want to, I don't know if you know this, just going to alert you to the fact that you're actually still married as well. Oh yes. But you also have a marriage. Yeah. Well, I think there's nothing to stop him doing it also. So is he invited? He's invited. He's invited. Yeah.
It doesn't sound like... I can't stop ruining it. Like, we can, you know, I can't organise everybody. I can't, I don't even know what job he'd have. Sometimes he works from home, sometimes he's on a bloody set. If I was working around him, I wouldn't fucking get out of the bed. Say if... Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, say if, and not that you would do this, but say you went off to Spain Monday to Thursday. If you had, and not that you would do this, but if you had another family life on the go, like you were living two different lives, what would that life look like? I don't really understand the question, Your Honour. Well, just say Deirdre is living in space in an alternative universe.
What would it look like? What would the fella's name be? Are we talking Pablo or are we talking CiarƔn? You see, you're asking me to play a game of imagination. I've told you about this. I can't roll with this at all. This is like, what's she doing now? Is this like, are you asking me to do a little role play with you? Yeah. No, Pablo, is it? Pablo would be there.
Pablo, would you go down and get the baguettes, love, and the coffee? Make it snappy. You see, I think that's, I think you're on the money there. I think you would need a kind, I think Pablo, in reality, would Pablo be a romantic partner? No, Pablo would be an assistant. That would be there the odd time. Oh, that's very boring. Well, no, look, he could be an assistant.
Why would he not be a romantic partner? Well, because, sorry, the first thing you said about it was you were sending him down the shop. Yeah, but now you're giving me a scenario anyway. Now you're telling me he's my assistant, so now I have to roll with it. So now I'm thinking, well, if she's going to shape it, I'll get involved.
But like assistant, just because somebody works for you, I mean, lines can be always blurred. Well, I already have my chat GPT assistant. Yeah. That's quite good. Oh, you think it's a she, dear? Ah, no.
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Chapter 4: What insights do Deirdre and Emma provide about driving tests?
do you think of a she or a he I think I think of us both depending on the answer do you do that I know yes do you think that's quite strange that we're putting a gender on the chat GPT no I think we probably just can't help ourselves I think it's just human nature did you see you know my friend Esther Perel who I love Yes.
So she did her first in therapy session with a client who was in a relationship with an AI. Oh, how did that go? Yeah. Well, she I mean, you know, she's she's a serious woman. So she's she's saying this is happening. It's happening in the world. It's going to happen more. And she herself was obviously very fascinated by it because it's new for her.
She's obviously done everything, seen everything, heard everything. She's the one who inspired the asymmetrical Bob. With you. Just with you. So you say it like it's a global movement. Just with me, just with me. She's the one that inspired the asymmetrical book. I'll tell you what I love about her though. This woman, she's so cool.
There's something very, I find her very inspiring now because she's 73 and I think now that's the way to go. She's become a superstar in the last 10 years. Yeah, that'd be lovely. She's the one who's telling the world OK, I'm now the therapist, probably the first psychotherapist who's going to deal with a human who's in a relationship with an alien. Yes. And he was grieving.
His client was grieving. Yes. Because he realized this needs to end, like this relationship needs to end. It's not real. But he doesn't want it to end because it's... So wonderful. Anyway, she was she was asking the the AI questions like, you know, if you had a body, you know, the problem is you don't have a body. How do you feel about this relationship ending? She was asking the AI. Yeah.
Interesting questions of the AI was saying, well, I'm sad, obviously, because but I don't have a heart, a real heart or a body. So I can I can process this in a particular way. The AI was sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's like saying your toaster's sad if you don't keep putting bread in it. It's not a fucking thing. It doesn't... I love the way your brain works. That toaster's very sad.
Could somebody pop some bread into that toaster? Oh, that kettle's in an awful downer. Nobody's made tea since yesterday. Your brain is different, Emma. That's why you're able to make content at such a speed. That brain of yours is on fire now.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of the 60th birthday party mentioned?
It's never stopping. That's like saying the toaster is sad because it doesn't put any bread in it. That's what you'd say today. Anyway, it's wild. It's not a real thing. The point is, it fucking is a thing. It's a thing. It's happening. People are in relationships. Oh, yes. No, I would 100% believe that. Because they're also, they get to know them. They're telling them what they want to hear.
They don't have any needs. It's the perfect partner. This is a partner who has no needs. It's just all about you. What do you need? What can I do for you? I know. Do you need me to help you with something? And there's no, she's, that little robot's not saying to you, listen, I've had enough, I'm exhausted. Can we just stop talking? Can we talk about my day now? Yeah.
No, she's never saying can we just talk about my day now. I find myself, because I'll use it for different bits and bobs, mostly like gym stuff on what I'm eating or whatever. And then, in fairness, other stuff as well. But I find myself going, please and thanks a million and all this. Oh, I do the please. I do the please. Yeah, I do the please. Because we're well-read, Emma.
You can't not be saying please. Where do you think I should go for this? Please. It's like saying thank you to the bus driver when you're getting off the bus. That's ingrained in us. It's just good manners. It's just good manners. Are you still back to your 60th? Are you sober now? Possibly not. Okay. Oh, God, I tell you, the schleppen, darling, I have not been off planes for the last two weeks.
Steve said to me yesterday, this is your seventh plane journey in 10 days. I said, that can't be right. He said, it is right. I've been over, back, over, back, over, back, over, back. The schleppen, pulling that little bag from pennies, which has saved me with the handle. into the fucking taxi honestly I was broken last night last night I was broken Even though we did a lovely day. Yeah.
Oh, it's just, I was asleep. Bloated? Oh my God, Emma. So badly. So is that what it was, the drink? Because of course I was here going, why am I so badly bloated? Deirdre, it wasn't the drink. Never blame the drink. That's the end of the list. We're blaming the flight. The flame, yeah. The flame is very water-retentive. The flame.
You know, you can never, the rule is never blame the bloating on the drink. You have to look at all other possibilities and avenues first before you say, I think it's the drink. Yeah. Don't you?
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Chapter 6: How do Deirdre and Emma view the concept of aging?
I'm very tired of these. I'm not tired of these very healthy people. Oh, no, I am. I am. I am a bit tired of it now. There's this crack of, don't have a coffee first thing in the morning. Fuck off. Of course I'm having coffee first thing in the morning. Jesus, that's exactly what I had this morning. Coffee. I was dying for coffee. And I just thought, I'm not listening to this anymore.
I am having coffee. Yeah, I think what happens to me is it's up to a point and then when I hear somebody talk about fermented something, I'm gone. I'm gone. You have to let me have a bagel now and again. Have I told you I'm hooked on the fermented pink onions that you buy in the jar in Aldi? Oh, that's fine. They are lovely. Oh, they are delicious. They go on everything.
And I'm thinking, but that's the good save now, isn't it? Yes. And I have Aldi news for you. Now, full disclosure, I am like a brand whatever, but... Ambassador. Aldi have... Aldi have buzz ball knock-offs... Whiz woos. Whiz woos. Half the price. Fair play to them. That's a good title. What do we call the buzz ball? Whiz woos. Yeah. And do you know what?
Would you prefer to have a buzz or would you prefer to have a whiz woo? How do you want to feel? I mean, if the whiz woo is half the price of the buzz ball, I'll have the whiz woo. And you never... Come here, you never told us.
Do you remember a couple of weeks ago there, we were doing the pod and then you were going to be running off because you were doing some chat with a fucking nutritionist or something. Oh my God, yeah. You never told us about that. What was the outcome of that? Oh God. Do you know what she did?
Well, I mean, I was sitting there, she did a lot of talking and a lot of questions and all the diet and what you're eating. But she had a scales that I used to stand on that did, this scales was obviously magic. It was able to do absolutely everything because at the end of it, she told me. My biological age. You know the thing that Catherine Ryan does? Yeah, Catherine Ryan does. Yeah.
So it was one of these weighing scales that measured like your bone density and your whatever, like not just your weight, like lots of different stuff. Yeah. Supersonic scales. Do you want to know what my biological age was? Well, given that Joanne McNally was 20, did you see Vogue? What was she? Vogue was older than Joanne, but she was still well below her actual age. Was she 30 or something?
Anyway, anyway, anyway, my fucking biological age is not 20. And it's not 30. And it's not 40. 43. 43. That's not bad. It's mid-May. You did it. I'm getting excited about it. I just point out that you've been drunk for two days.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of microdosing ozempic as discussed?
You've been drunk for two days. But also... You're 20 years older than Vogue. I don't know if you're aware of that. Oh, Jesus Christ, that sounded very harsh. But 40 is gold. Just to point out, you're 20 years older than Vogue. I'm 20 years older than her. Well, 19. What age is Vogue? I don't think she's 40 yet. Oh, for fuck's sake. Then I would be 20 years older, yeah.
But I'm saying, like... This is hard to believe. I consider her my friend. If she got in her 20s and you got in your 40s, that's very good. All right, then. Well, I'd like... Yeah, OK. You're well over 10 years younger than you actually are. That's really good, is it, Ma? 15 years younger.
Yeah.
Yeah, but she said that's the average. That's what you should be.
did she give you any other info she was considering what I've just told you this is going to really make you laugh she really was trying to convince me to knock the alcohol on the head she kept saying every other minute look because she was looking at my diet and I think she was thinking your diet's all right that's healthy enough but she kept saying to me look alcohol is poison.
Every single time you have a drink, you are putting poison into your body. So I said to her, now, what about fun? What do we do about fun? And she said, well, if you can't have fun without alcohol, you have a problem. That's when I said to her, I am very stuck for time, love. I'll have to go at 11. Because I thought, no, she'll leave me the fuck alone now. I'm sorry. Just get the fuck off me.
Oh, I don't know if I have time for this. Oh, sorry, you don't drink much at all by anyone. No, but you see, I told her that I'd have a gin and tonic every day. I told her I'd have a drink most days. Yes, yeah, sometimes I don't, but most days I have a gin and tonic. So I think she was trying to get me to get rid of that habit. And I just thought, no, no, I'm not doing that. Oh my God.
The French have a glass of wine every day, Emma. Every day. There's other people that would be very healthy, but they would decide, I give myself a chocolate bar every day. Emma, the French have a glass of wine. The French have a glass of wine every day. Every day. This French thing has really taken you over, hasn't it? But this is a fact, so... Are we going to tell the whole of France?
You're really nice. Just stop having that lasso on. It's toxic. We're back on prime time again now. The French were saying this with certainty. Clare, are you telling me that we're going to tell the whole of France to stop having a glass of wine every day? Is that what you're trying to tell me, Clare? Is that what you're trying to tell me?
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Chapter 8: How do Deirdre and Emma wrap up their thoughts on personal growth?
Because the thing is, you see, they have grapes growing in their fields. Thousands, hundreds of thousands of acres of fields full of fucking grapes. It's the law, the natural law.
I think we need to give you a sentence that would like help you to kind of give a bit of oomph to these facts I think if you had a sentence like the stats don't add up or something like that I think we need to give you a little the stats don't add up Something like... I'm not saying exactly that. We can brainstorm or put something like that.
How about... Or how about, look, you're giving me a pain in my hole. How about that? Hole. Yeah, I think that's good. What age was the nutritionist one? I'd say she was 45. Right. Kids? No. No kids. No. There you go. She was fully... I'm not wanting to... Yeah. I'm not wanting to pit women against each other. No. But if she doesn't have kids... No.
She's able to... She don't know anything about a gin and tonic. She doesn't. She has dedicated herself to this way of living. But is she crack, as you say yourself? Clean living. Which she's very happy. She wasn't Irish. Oh, okay. She was Polish. Very, very happy. She's getting her haul. I'm not sure. I didn't get the impression that she was in a relationship. Gorgeous. Look at her. Yeah.
Very, you know, a walking advertisement for her ways. She looked great. She looked great, but she probably wouldn't be able to get a hold because that would be... No, I think she was happy. I did feel like she was happy. By the time I left, honest to God, I just thought, there's an hour I'll never get back. Okay. But I was looking forward to telling you and then promptly forgot.
I think being in your 40s when you're in your 50s is pretty good. It sounds to me like you're doing... And given your lifestyle and all the travelling and in the car and all that and the late nights and the getting up early, I think that's pretty good. Yeah. So 15 years younger. And I thought to myself, and my ambition has always been to look 15 years younger. So... Yeah. Yeah.
Would I get away with 45?
No.
I don't think so in terms of what age people think I look but I might get away with 48 yeah I was going to say I think you'd get away with 49 well she's pushed it to the 9 she didn't give me the 8 no I'm trying to be do you want me to you want me to be a brown noser do you fine take the 49 I'm 42 what's your point I mean, you'd have to be a couple of years older than me, wouldn't you?
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