Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network.
Chapter 2: What sponsorships are featured in this episode?
This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Hey, this is Redneck coming to you live from the comedy mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Get it up for Tony Hitchcock!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh?
And that is the best damn band in all the land.
How about you make some noise for them, huh? Feels good in here tonight. You are at the number one live podcast in the world, Kill Tony, brought to you this week by Netflix, everyone. The roast of Kevin Hart is out now on Netflix, believe it or not. Isn't that incredible? There you go, right on cue. And Kill Tony Mania, shot live in Las Vegas, came out on April 20th, is also out.
So go over to Netflix, check out all your favorite things. Shout out to Asphalt 3D, who makes a bunch of quirky, awesome 3D things. You know, there's a special thing, a little behind the scenes here that you guys don't know. When I take the names, I put them on a special thing with little magnets. And I know who was first and sixth and seventh all the way through.
to nine, and then I usually pick 10 or 11 just for shits and giggles. There's little mic stands. There's the little clip on the mic. It's all made by Asphalt 3D, so how about a hand for them, huh? And Netflix, you love Netflix. You all have money. You're here. Madison Square Garden, August 7th and August 8th. A lot of other fun things happening. Tickets at TonyHinchClip.com.
Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made tonight's episode possible for you right now. Starting something new is terrifying. I remember thinking, what if this fails? What if I put all this work in for nothing? Who's going to want to watch an open mic on YouTube hosted by a roast god and a sound effects guy?
But taking that leap ended up being one of the best decisions I ever made. It also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side to help. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S., from household names like mine to brands just getting started. Right, Ben?
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Chapter 3: What makes Kill Tony a unique live podcast experience?
Wow, good job, Red Band. And did I mention that iconic purple ShopPay button? It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. From marketing to managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond, Shopify is your commerce expert with world-class expertise. It's time to turn those what-ifs into... with Shopify today.
Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com slash killtony. Go to shopify.com slash killtony. That's shopify.com slash killtony. You guys ready to start tonight's fucking show or what? Ladies and gentlemen, every single week, I book two of the funniest guests in the world. This week, no different. Well, one guest this week. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for him.
He has a brand new special out on YouTube. You know him. You love him. Make some noise for the great Brad Williams, everybody.
Fuck yeah, Brad.
Welcome, my friend. Come on in. Have a seat there. His new special live on Short Street is on YouTube.com backslash Brad Williams comedy. Welcome, Brad. Yeah, that's right. I'm actually not Brad. I'm just a new character from Adam Ray. Very advanced costume.
Very advanced. That's amazing.
This makeup is incredible. How did he squeeze into that thing? Thank you for putting the booster seat on the chair, Tony. I really appreciate that. It's amazing. We're going to have so much fun tonight. It's been a while since you've been on the show. Normally, I book a second guest, but I mean, oh, shit. We know what this means.
Normally, a big second guest pops up on stage when the lights come back on. Let's see what happens here. All right. Well, wait, who's that? Wait, who the fuck is? It's Timmy No Breaks.
Oh, my God. He's over there. What the hell is he doing over there?
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Chapter 4: Who are the special guests featured in this episode?
You're gonna die, my friend.
Pat O'Neill, you're absolutely fantastic. Pat, you look like you have about five of me buried in your basement.
Well, I do. Brad, take that again.
Take that roast again. Take it again. It just didn't hit. So I think if you take it again and you say, that's a punchline afterwards, it might hit harder.
Let me just say, the only reason I don't think it hit is because I don't think it's believable that Pat O'Neill has a basement. That's the only part I think was missing. If he would have said it is like vent ducts or something like that. See, yours didn't hit either. So I think you should take it from the top.
And I think you should maybe act out a basement. Be like, I'm in a basement. I'm giving advice here.
I'm creating a session. I think you should take that from the top. Do the act out again. Well, you take it in the bottom. You son of a bitch. Pat O'Neill, you got the show jump-started. Thank you so much. The newest regular on Kill Tony, Pat O'Neill, an undeniable force of nature. We're going to keep it moving. This is an interesting name. Make some noise for your first bucket bowl of the night.
You guys know how this works. We meet them all together. Anything can happen. Could be the next superstar. Could be a one and out crazy person. Anything can happen. Make some noise for your first bucket bowl of the night. It's Darian Terry, everybody. Darian Terry. Imagine if you lived in a world that make you take a test to prove that you were not gay.
And all they had to do was accuse you of it in public. And you had to take the test. Salem witch trial style. Kind of like, hey bro, I think you're gay.
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Chapter 5: What does Daisuke love about America?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What the fuck did you just call me? Daisuke. I think he called you Andrew Dice Gay. All right, let's talk about it for a second here, Daisuke. Yeah. So how long have you been doing stand-up? 23 in Japan. 23 Japanese years. And then I moved to New York two years ago. You live in New York now? Yeah, and now New York, and I started learning English in two years.
You just learned English two years ago? Yeah, everything memorized now. Amazing. Everything. And you lived in Japan for how long?
I've been there 22 years.
22 years. Couldn't give us a fucking sentence in Japanese.
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Chapter 6: How does Daisuke's comedy career compare in Japan and America?
Everyone can say something funny.
Like, you can't just... Well, all right. So Daisuke. Yeah. What do you do for work? You make all your money doing comedy? Yeah, just comedy. You make money doing that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in Japan. So real story, every three months I go back to Japan to make money. And then, so open mic.
And in Japan, I make money, you know. He's really a star in Japan. So he sells hard tickets in Japan.
He goes back to Japan for a month or two at a time and just tours the whole time and then goes back to New York.
Wow, I love this. Amazing. What an amazing anomaly you are, Daisuke. So, 23.
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Chapter 7: What challenges did Daisuke face learning English?
How old are you? 45. Holy shit. What the shit?
So, if there were Epstein Island in Japan, pedophiles panic. Wow. Did you used to have, like, really big legs or something? What do you mean? What does he mean? The pants are humongous. I'm just, uh... That's the fashion.
Oh. Oh, yeah, I understand.
He's a racist. Yes. Yes, very good. I wanted to be... I wanted to meet... This is Texas! This is Texas!
All right, all right. This is incredible. Daisuke, are you in love? Do you have kids? Do you have a family or anything? Single. So you get a lot of action in Japan. I bet there's a lot of fans that like to bang you after shows. Am I correct? Can you translate that for me, Michael?
Yeah.
So when I came to here, I broke up. So dumped my girlfriend. Racist. Oh, that's my friend. Me too.
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Chapter 8: What unique experiences does Daisuke share about his life in America?
Right. Where you come from, what do they do when babies are born that come out like Brad? What? Brad. What? Translate it, Michael.
Kamikaze.
Kamikaze.
Yeah, but Japanese people are same told.
I gotta go to Japan, guys. Yeah. You might be Andre the Giant in Japan.
Yeah, I'm gonna tour with you to Japan.
I love it. I love it. This is gonna be awesome. I'm gonna take over. Yeah. I'm gonna sit in a chair and my legs are gonna touch the ground. It's gonna be fucking sweet. Daisuke, what is your favorite American cuisine? And when you translate, Michael, speak into the microphone. Just say it, ask him. Into the microphone. See what the fuck I'm talking about? It's amazing. Please say pussy.
Fluent fucking Japanese. So, you know, food trucks are Mexican food. I love Mexican food.
Ah. Yeah, I love, I love. But I don't like cilantro, you know?
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