THE EMPATHY PROBLEM: Why ADHD and Autistic People Often Misunderstand Each Other’s Empathy
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Pääkaupunkiseudulla oli ennen vain kolme välilmansuuntaa. Kaakko, Luode ja Koillinen. Asiat saivat nykyisen muotonsa vuonna 1971, jolloin Helsinkiin avattiin ensimmäinen alepa. Kulinaristeille kauppa sijaitsi etelän ja lännen välissä, joten päiväsaikaan vakiintui sanonta, eiköhän käydä lounaalla. Other citizens quickly followed the trend.
Aleppo. Urban legend. Who has got more empathy? Someone with ADHD or someone with autism? Most of us think that we already know the answer. But what if we've been getting it completely wrong?
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My empathy.
Do you know why we're doing an empathy episode?
Like when you said it, I was like, this is going to be a two minute episode.
Why?
I'd be like, well, Rox is more empathetic than me. That's in my head. That's what.
I love it. So maybe by the end of the episode, you might think differently. So first of all, I think it'd be useful for all of us if we could actually define what empathy is. It's a word that we hear a lot. What does it actually mean? What does it mean to you when you hear empathy? And then I'm going to like read you a definition.
Well, I do get confused between empathy and sympathy. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't really know the difference of the two, I don't think.
So I think that's really common. So really simply, feeling sympathy is like you feel sorry that they're going through it. Yeah. Oh, I feel bad that's happening and oh dear, that must be tough. Feeling empathy is feeling it with, experiencing with that person, being with that person, holding it with them.
Right.
Do you see that there's a slight difference?
Yeah, I do.
Okay. So there's three types of empathy.
Right.
And we're just going to quickly cover them up.
Okay.
Who wins the empathy debate: ADHD or autism?
So emotional empathy, sort of what I was just speaking about, feeling it with someone. Someone starts to cry, you're crying. Someone's feeling grief, you're feeling it with them. Like you're in the emotions with them and it's feelings based. Then we've got cognitive empathy, which is understanding what and why someone is feeling upset or going through something difficult and it's thoughts based empathy.
Right. So understanding logically what they're going through.
Yeah. And then there's compassionate empathy, which is actually wanting to help, understanding you can't fix the problem or the feelings, but wanting to take action and help.
Okay. Okay.
So three types of empathy. Who knew?
I didn't. I didn't. I barely knew what empathy meant. So...
That's why we're doing an episode on it.
Since you've just explained the three though, I think the tide might be turning about who's more empathetic. Just off the top of my head, like we'll go through the episodes.
No, I want to hear, come on.
But when you say it, the first one I'm not very good at, feeling it with them.
Yeah.
But understanding what they're going through and wanting to support, I think I'm really good at.
Yep. And actually compassionate, like taking action.
Yeah, that's what I mean. To help. That was the third one. Yeah.
So yeah. So this is basically my theory. Okay.
Yeah.
That typically we see ADHD as a super high empathy. Yeah. And there's a myth about autistic people that they're non-empathetic. But I'm saying I don't think ADHDers are as empathetic as they think they are.
Yeah.
What are the three types of empathy and how do they differ?
And I think autistic people have got access to way more empathy than we give them.
I think I agree with you. I think I'm going to, I don't know how we're going to do this, but I will score low on the first one.
That's okay.
Yeah. Whatever that one was called.
Emotional empathy. Okay. So we're going to break this up now and we're going to talk about ADHD and empathy. And what that looks like. Of course, I'm going to use me as a reference point. There are loads of different types of ADHD. Loads of people experience it differently. It's just, I'm here. So that's what you're getting. Then we're going to talk about you through an autistic lens. Why you might struggle and actually where you do really well.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–2:30
2
Who wins the empathy debate: ADHD or autism?
2:30–4:16
3
What are the three types of empathy and how do they differ?
4:16–15:18
4
How does emotional empathy show up in people with ADHD?
15:18–24:12
5
Why can ADHD-related empathy lead to overwhelm and burnout?
24:12–34:36
Speakers
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3: ADHD IN DISGUISE: 10 “weird” things I didn’t realise were signs of ADHD
4: SURVIVING PERIMENOPAUSE: what happens when your ADHD brain can't keep up (With Dr Jolene Brighten)
2: THE MEMORY EPISODE: The ADHD, Autism & AuDHD Guide to Memory