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Chapter 1: What are the benefits of using the Sprive app for mortgage payments?
Hey, before we start the episode, I wanted to share something I am obsessed with, and this is the app Sprive. This is one of those things that you think, why has nobody ever told me about this before? Basically, it helps you overpay your mortgage automatically without spending any extra money, and it feels like a game, and I'm fucking obsessed. Move over, Candy Crush. I'm playing the Sprive game.
So here's what I do. I've connected it to my everyday spending. And so without really noticing, I am overpaying about £50 a month off my mortgage. Now, just to clarify, this is just for money that I would be spending anyway. But here's where it gets fucking amazing, right? It's not just £50 a month, right? That's basic. That money goes straight off your mortgage balance right
which means you're not paying all the interest. It's also tax free. And over time, the compounded effect is where it gets fucking wild. So, for example, I have connected just two basic brands, right? Every week I shop at Tesco and Deliveroo. And just from my weekly shops at both of those places, I am overpaying £50 a month.
But this is also going to save me thousands in interest and shave not months, but years off of my mortgage. Years. And the best part is it is so easy. We all know that I am a technophobe and I set this up in minutes. It runs in the background. You are quietly building your wealth without changing your lifestyle. So if you've got a mortgage, you need to check it out.
I've left the link in the description below. You can thank me later. You've not had sex for five years.
It's more than that now, actually.
Men, men, men. Dicks everywhere. I mean, that was a normal Tuesday for me. Just dicks everywhere.
Oh my God. I'm having such a lovely time in lockdown.
Fuck you.
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Chapter 2: How does centering women instead of men change life perspectives?
Yeah, exactly. I mean, I think, and actually, I think with Jennifer Aniston, she certainly had the, oh, wasn't there a narrative for a while that the reason her and Brad hadn't had kids is because exactly that, because she was focused on her career.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's always something. There's always some... It's always blamed on being single or it's crazy.
And this is why I'm so pleased to be talking about this on your podcast because I think, as I said to you before we hit record, I hope that there will be many single women, many single listeners going, oh my God, it's so nice to hear somebody talking about single life because it's not talked about enough and that's why I do what I do ultimately. So tell us what you do. What is Thrive Solo?
Tell us all about it. I have firstly, I have a podcast. And as you said, I have a book and it, but basically this journey of mine started, I never planned to talk about being single and not having kids at all. I was just living my life.
And then during lockdown, whilst all of my friends who are like married with kids, they were all kind of bemoaning that, you know, homeschooling and partners driving them crazy.
It was a tough time.
Especially for you, my gosh. But I was thinking... oh my God, I'm having such a lovely time in lockdown.
Fuck you.
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Chapter 3: What experiences led to the realization of thriving while single?
Is it easier to manifest your dream life when you're solo?
I personally think yes. I think two answers to that question. Number one, when you're single, you are so much more in control of how you feel. And as you and I both know, one of the major things about manifestation is it's all about how you feel the majority of the time. What is that dominant vibration?
And the other thing is that when you're single and particularly when you don't have kids as well, you, and I talk about this ad nauseam because I'm passionate about it. The fact that one of the biggest benefits of being by yourself is that you get to throw your energies into what you want from your life. That is one of the things that I just don't think every single woman is kind of
is necessarily doing that. And I talk about it, as I say, on the podcast, I talk about it on Instagram a lot because it's such a gift. And I think we're so distracted or many single women are so distracted by thinking, oh, but I need a boyfriend or a girlfriend and, you know, I'm missing this and da-da-da-da. It's like, no, no, no, no. Look at what you have.
Look at the life you have right now and what that allows you, what that affords you. So when it comes to manifesting your best goddamn life, absolutely. Luke, can I swear on this podcast?
You can swear.
I thought I could. You know, absolutely. It is the ideal opportunity to really lean into the things and get clear on what you want without being distracted by a guy. Because I don't know about you, but when I'm in a relationship, my life becomes about the guy.
All of my dreams and the things that I'm focused on and the things that I truly want, they go out of the goddamn window because I'm suddenly more concerned by the relationship. I did a reel really recently on Instagram about de-centering men. we have been conditioned to center men as women. And I was one of those girls that did that.
And in all of my, and actually I've had some, don't get me wrong, I've had many relationships and I've had many lovely boyfriends, but I did center them as being the most important thing in my world rather than, Actually, what does Lucy want to do? So yeah, going back to your question, those two huge benefits.
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Chapter 4: How can being single enhance personal growth and manifesting dreams?
It's still there. Anyway, sorry. Complete tangent.
No, that's bad luck.
Is it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have you never heard that? Bad luck to kill a spider.
I'll stop that then. I get scared. It's out of fear.
Well, I could never get close enough to one to actually kill it because I'm not scared of them. But how weird is that? Anyway, I've completely forgotten what I was saying or what we were saying. I've forgotten. We got distracted by the spider. I know what it was. So back through my teens, 20s, 30s, it was all like guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
and that was the kind of driving force that was the sort of priority and ultimately I think this is how women are raised and so many we are we are so conditioned to think that until we get the guy we get married we have the engagement ring we have the kids we have the house we're so conditioned to think that unless we do that we are in some way failing um
that we forget to ask ourselves, what do we actually want from our lives? And going back to what you were saying about settling, I think, I hate to say this, but I think so many people do settle in relationships and you only need to look at the divorce rate, which is more than 50% to realize that people are settling.
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Chapter 5: What are the emotional challenges faced by single women?
um yeah but they're older now they're older so they're like teens and one of the 22 she's got triplets by the way yeah i knew i knew to relate to that i'll just shut up i've got nothing to complain about wow triplets yeah triplets who are now 19 um but funny enough she has always had a bit of a thing or she's always liked younger guys and i've always tended to go for older guys
Yeah, but do you get to, yeah, but now I've turned 40. So I always used to like old men, loved an old man. Like I love that shit. I had a sugar daddy in my twenties. It was a whole thing. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. But actually now I'm 40, 41. When I'm looking at older men, they're,
often going to die soon well so I'm like add on 10 years well I'm add on 9 years and 50 so I suppose now if I'm like an older guy I'm talking about like 65, 70 maybe not having said that I did meet an architect in my gym the other day I was with my friend Kelly and we were in the hot tub this old man I tell you was hot he was so tan Silver Fox
Well, I think he dyed his hair, which did put me off slightly. He was hot. He was giving me architectural advice. And I thought, yeah, I would fuck him.
That's the end of that story. Would George Clooney, for example? I would. I definitely would. Would you not?
No. I love him. No.
Really? I think he's hot. I think he's still hot.
I mean, I probably would if I met him in real life. But yeah. I mean, who am I? Of course I would. Yeah, fuck it. I would. I would. What do you think though? Because we keep seeing all these headlines about the birth rate is massively declining. More and more women are choosing to be single.
Something that I love, I don't know where I heard this, but they said, you know how they call women like gold diggers if they want to, you know, go and date a guy to get married or whatever. Now we're allowed to call men labor diggers.
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Chapter 6: How do societal narratives affect perceptions of single women?
The vast majority of the kid men, of all of the life admin of the organization. I mean, it's just, it lands on the woman. I mean, I have one friend who she literally does every, and they've got, you know, she works, he works, they've got two kids. She does all of the classic female things, all of it, like literally all of it.
And another friend, I remember I was actually on holiday with her at the time. And I was kind of rolling my eyes because, again, two kids, very sort of traditional roles. And he was messaging her when we were in Greece. She was basically messaging him back and forth to make an arrangement for one of their kids back in the UK. It was all kind of, you know, had to go through her.
And it blows my mind. And I think it's very, you know, again, even the most kind of forward thinking, the most helpful husbands, somehow there are things that land naturally with a woman. And it's just the way it is. And I think what women need to be is very, very clear from the off.
Like if you're a woman who really wants to make it equal, you're going to have to be really clear about that when you get together with someone and say, look, if we have kids, you know, and going back to the falling birth rates, it's like, part of the reason I believe that less women are having kids is because it's not a great deal in many ways.
And I mean, Fran, I look at you and what you've done by yourself and I swear to God, I can take my heart off to you. It's hard. And I remember listening to your podcast back, you know, a few years ago. and thinking, how the hell is she doing this?
And how are you, and what I respect so much about you is that you have skyrocketed your career over the last few years as a single mum of not one, but three girls.
Three! Honestly, I just... I don't know why I feel so upset about that.
It's hard. It is. I swear, I'm not just saying this because I'm sitting here with you now. I've thought it many times and I've listened to your podcast. How the hell is that woman doing that? It's been savage. It's bloody amazing.
I'm using my dress as a tissue. I can't believe I made you cry. Well, do you know what? It's because I've had a really busy weekend this weekend. And just to give a little snapshot, right? I've got a really busy weekend of like a lot of shit going on. This is my child-free weekend. And I say I choose to work during my child-free, but I do. I get two days off a month and I work during that time.
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Chapter 7: What are the practical aspects of solo travel for single women?
Oh, what? Number one, peace. Peace. And number two is headspace and emotional stability. When I've been in relationships in the past, and I've had relationships from the age of literally like 13, 14, right up until I've been single for eight and a half years, right? And I'm now 50. In those relationships, even with lovely guys, there is something about, you know, you're up, you're down.
There's something to stress about. He's done something to piss you off. You've done something to piss him off. There's some kind of issue. Not to say that all relationships are kind of full of drama, but even in a good relationship, you're kind of being dragged around on the waves of somebody else's emotions. It's hard enough being dragged around by your own emotions.
Yes. Then having to do it with someone else as well. I agree.
Yeah. So those two things, and I truly believe that they are so underrated and people are so quick to go, oh God, you know, she's single though. Like, oh my God, you know, aren't you just like, don't you get bored? I mean, A, I never get bored. I find it bizarre when people talk about getting bored. I've not been bored in 10 years. Like me neither. I mean, that to me is just weird.
Not I'd love to be bored, but I can't imagine being bored. Me neither. Me neither. But it's just, yeah, the peace, I think, of being single and just knowing where you are emotionally. And yeah, of course, you've got kids, but just not being in a relationship and not having that... you know, yeah, riding on the waves of somebody else's emotions and moods and having to deal with somebody else.
That is, I think it's a gift. And I've never felt more sort of on a level, on an even keel. And I've never felt more at peace. That doesn't mean my life is perfect. My life is far from perfect. I'm a human and I have problems like everybody else. Yeah. But in that respect... The peace.
The living easy. Oh, my God. You can paint your house whatever colour you want. It's just... Have you seen all those Instagram posts that are like, this and no angry men? And it's like them with a candle lit. And it's like, it sounds really... I'll tell you what ones get me is when people are like...
they've left a marriage or whatever and they've managed to get like, and they've got like a mattress on the floor and they've got them and their children. They're like, I've just got like a little one bedroom flat. And when I moved out, so when we were married, we lived in like this beautiful gated community and we had like boats in the garden. It was beautiful. I loved living there.
And me and my daughter moved back to the hood, Islington, Holloway Road, big up Holloway Road, Jeremy Corbyn. But it was a one bedroom flat above a pub. It was one bedroom flat. We shared a bed, shared a wardrobe and I'd never been happier. The peace that I felt. And that is a real visceral feeling that you can feel when you put that child to bed and you are sat and it's your space.
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Chapter 8: How can women redefine their value and happiness outside relationships?
What's the problem with that?
Well, exactly. Also, I've had so many people kind of push back on various reels and stuff that I've done on Instagram, like when I've talked about this sort of stuff. They're like, oh my God, you're so selfish or, you know, all the rest of it. But it's like, why is it a bad thing that I'm kind of focusing on myself and my life?
Because apart from anything else, when you're single and you do get the chance to kind of go inwards a lot and focus on you and your life, actually you then subsequently show up as a better version of yourself to the people that you love as well. So that's a really big advantage.
But so yeah, that for me is probably the biggest thing that I just feel so much more sorted and together and calm and just on an even keel, like I mentioned just now. When I'm by myself, and as I mentioned at the very beginning, it's just that there are no distractions from where I'm headed. I mean, I'm, you know, maybe it's just me, but I'm a very, very focused person.
Like I have, you know, dreams and goals that I really want to achieve. achieve. And I really love the fact that I'm able to focus on them without distraction. That is something that is such a big advantage that we don't talk about enough. The fact that if I want, I can spend an entire weekend working on whatever it might be. And also I use the word work lightly.
And I think, I don't know whether you'd agree with that. It's not work.
What you and I do. I would do this as a hobby. If I didn't make money from it, I would do it as a hobby.
Exactly. For sure. Exactly. So same with me and with my podcast. Like, yes, it's my work. I'm not doing a shift in the co-op. Do you know what I mean?
I'm not like, oh, I've got to go to work. Right. It's not work. Right. It's fun. Yeah, exactly. Most of the time.
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