Jim Florentine & Robert Kelly - He Has A Team - Episode 957
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What is the opening rap skit about?
When
you hear that bomb drop, blop, blop, you know what to do. Open up the pit, bitch, I'm coming through. Big J, the battle rap champ, all up in your ass with the strap. Red attack, tech, when it's easy in the building, you better believe. Never forget, Al Qaeda ain't got nothing on Steve. Puerto Rican rattlesnake, venom in your veins. Natural born killers, Legion escapes.
What the hell are you?
How do the hosts transition into personal banter about hair and jokes?
man. Woo.
My hair's
looking thicker. I've been using density shampoo.
I've never realized how much cerebral Paul looks like a fucking dude. Hellscape. No, like where do they call him from? Star Wars. The fucking not a Wookiee. What's the little ones? Ewoks. Ewok. Ewok. Yeah, dude. He does. Lots of Ewoks, or even the can. Didn't Ewoks have canes? Yeah,
they did. They were the
cutest little fucking things. What the fucking Ewok, dude? This is what we have our own Ewok here. Oh,
man,
dude.
You
do. You look so much like an Ewok, dude.
We got to get a spear on the end of that thing for you. That's racist.
When you give it to a Dominican, it's racist.
It is your favorite podcast, everybody. To my right, as always, the great Steve Renazzisi. 15
years
strong for life. Steve for life. To my left, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Louis J. Gomez. And I'm Big J. Oakerson, and we are the legendary Legion of Skanks, everybody. Three for life. You came on a great night. We have a very, very fun show. There's cowboys here, a cerebral palsy guy.
There's cowboys here. They were on camera, and one of the producers was like, we have to move them. They're going to be so distracting the entire fucking show. There are two fucking oil tycoons sitting in the corner. I think I know one of those guys.
Well, I'm thinking about buying this place. Yeah, Peter. What's up, dude? I know that. What are you guys extorting someone in town? What are you guys doing here? My God. Steve, I'm here to pick up a long time debt. Well, I say, I
say, I
say. When I pass away, I need you to marry my wife. Handle my affairs.
That's crazy. They shouldn't be. You shouldn't be here.
They look cool as shit, dude. Why not, dude? Fucking Method Man concert doesn't start for two more hours.
Is that happening
tonight? No.
Oh.
I just thought it'd be funny that these guys were going to Method Man after this. Well, I'm excited about today. We have a great show planned. We have an amazing
show
planned. And we have amazing guests coming out. Should we get our guests out here? Please. Fuck yeah. Our first guest... You know him from his podcast, Everything is Awful. You also know him. Everybody. Huh? Everybody is awful. What did I say? Everything is awful. Oh, fuck. Man. Everybody is awful. And of course, Terrorizing Telemarketers Volume 8 is available right now. Make some noise for the great Jim Florentine. Woo!
Woo!
Hell yeah, Jim. Thanks for joining the show.
What up? Yeah, man.
Jim Flooringteen. Flooringteen. My Jim Flooring is covered in water again because my washing machine, it wouldn't fucking empty, I guess. It was something clogged, and my Mexican cleaning lady opened it up, and just water splashed out all over my feet. Wait, it opened up from the side? From the front. Your Jim Flooringteen is fucked up? My Jim Flooring
is all
fucked up now, Jim Flooringteen.
I saw that clip you guys were talking about.
Jay did a great impression
on
me. He does the best impression
of you. I think the only one that's better is Joe Manorese. He does a great impression of me, but Jay's was unbelievable. I kind of hit this note right here. Almost
to the point, yeah. There it is. Show your balls.
Everyone
has a good laugh.
Whatever, it's the perfect tone to it. You really figured it out.
Sometimes things are in there. That's like I do a good impression if it's in my register to some degree. That's what I always like. Craig Gass, great impressionist, but if you listen to him, he almost already sounds like Sam Kinison. You know what I mean? It's his best impression. He sounds like him
already. He's right in
his register. That's why I can sing Lionel Richie. Our second guest... You know him from You Know What, Dude. You know him from The Regs. You know him from the special Kill Box available on YouTube.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the opening rap skit about?
0:04–0:47
2
How do the hosts transition into personal banter about hair and jokes?
0:47–5:33
3
When do they start introducing guests and the Golden Ticket contest?
5:33–11:49
4
What do they discuss regarding Carrot Top’s legal issues?
11:49–1:09:53
5
Why is Bobby struggling with reading the forward and how does the pressure affect his performance?
1:09:53–1:27:10
6
What arguments do the hosts make about having a ‘team’ to edit and fix reading mistakes?
1:27:10–1:45:23
7
How do the comedians riff on Carrot Top, Drew Barrymore and the idea of appearing on TV shows?
1:45:23–2:03:39
8
What upcoming shows, tickets and sponsor promos are announced at the end of the episode?
2:03:39–2:22:14
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from Legion of Skanks Podcast
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