Shane Gillis & Sal Vulcano - Farewell Ari - Episode 943

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Legion of Skanks Podcast 2h 34m 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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What merch and event announcements kick off the episode?

Luis J. Gomez 0:00
Before we start today's show, guys, you should know that Skank Fest is happening in November. Wait, wait, wait. Fuck that. I got bigger news.
Unknown 0:07
The brand new 3 for Life shirt is in stock now at skanksmerch.com. Fuck your festival. Jay, fuck you and your fucking everything about you. Your mom, she sucks too. It's also on our three brand new tank tops along with a classic skank face and core values design. But the main thing is the 3 for Life. is here. Plus, we've also got styles of shirts back in stock in every size, small to XXXL. And I know, Skanks, those smalls are not selling. And those XXXs are always out of stock.
Luis J. Gomez 0:34
The smalls are 90% off.
Unknown 0:37
If you're a former Jay, like most of you, if you're a pre-shot Jay, you want to get that 3XL right now. We've also got hats and so much more coming soon. Right now, head over to skanksmarsh.com to get your gear and rep the show you love. But guys, it's all about the free for life.
Luis J. Gomez 0:53
Three for life. Four. He is us. Now let's start the show.
Shane Gillis 0:58
Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.
Luis J. Gomez 1:10
You fucking dork. I stand for mayhem. You don't stand for mayhem.
Unknown 1:22
let's go it's time for the skanks and it's all about ari drugs in the drink bitch sorry not sorry racist rapist going retarded let's party get ready for the chew chew chew chew chew balls heavy for the chew chew chew chew chew chew we in nyc in the place to be and there's only one man that you came to see that's ari rise for the pressure heart and the soul of this gang said it's evident is real ass dude nobody better he making it rain on these bitches he controlling the weather controlling the media pumping in your ears right now this ari tell them other queers pipe down And Lewis and Jay. Wow.
Luis J. Gomez 2:45
Welcome to your favorite podcast live from the stand. To my right, as always, it's Ari Shaffir.
Ari Shaffir 2:50
Thank you, everybody. All right.
Luis J. Gomez 2:55
To my left, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Luis J. Gomez. And I'm Big Jay Oakerson, and together we are the legendary legion of motherfucking skanks. Thank you guys for being here. We look like we are on trial for rape. But it's one hilarious rape. We're not taking it seriously, that's for sure. No, dude. We're not taking the charges very seriously. We're like a lacrosse team, but we're not athletic. You got fitted on your way into the hearing. These are the suits that stupid bitch Josie Marcellino was supposed to fucking have.
Ari Shaffir 3:35
How badass would this have been on the red carpet for the Rose?
Luis J. Gomez 3:39
Oh my God, dude. What's happening? Drama.
Ari Shaffir 3:51
Drama, drama, drama.
Luis J. Gomez 3:58
Save the drama for your mama. Oh, shit. I don't know what's going on.
Unknown 4:05
She's going to be a great audience member.
Luis J. Gomez 4:10
Damn, Joe just got chumped out by a woman. Did you see that, dude? Oh my God, dude, Joe.
Ari Shaffir 4:16
Joe, just get Pete to drag her out of Iron Hair.
Luis J. Gomez 4:18
Oh my God, Joe looks like a fucking bitch right now. Holy shit, dude. She just said, I'll fuck you up, get out of my face. His pimp hand is strong. Joe, I would have done what you did. Just like, whatever, lady. Have respect, his moves. Is Josie here? Fuck you, Josie. Josie, I gotta tell you, I didn't think it was that big of a deal that day. I was a little preoccupied, too, so I'm like, whatever, guys, wear suits. We're all gonna look great. And then now that I saw the suits, it really sucks you didn't get those out there in time.
Unknown 4:51
Really fucking sucks.
Luis J. Gomez 4:51
We would've looked so cool. The cameras would've cut to us during the roast. Check this out. Look how cool I look. Check this out. Oh, he's not showing it. Oh. That's so cool, dude. You got the white version. I got the black version. We look fucking great. We look so good. Josie, you fucking whore. I hope Aaron fucks you up at Skankfest. I hope Aaron fucking puts you through a wall. Thank you.
Unknown 5:24
What am I doing? You also got a black spot on my thing. You fucked it up twice.
Luis J. Gomez 5:29
On your tie? Yeah, it's killing me. I feel like my mic's not hot. Check, check. Jay, nothing you can do is not hot. True that. That is Smokey J. Cheryl Underwood wanted to suck your cock off your body. Did you let her suck it off your body? No, I should have. She got a Netflix special. I should have jumped on the kitten while the kitten was good.

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