LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS
Episodes
Building Connection From Stability, Not Emotional Need
21 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Why do we crave connection so deeply… yet feel so unstable in relationships?In this episode, I dive into the difference between seeking love from em...
The Fearful Avoidant Experience: Love, Numbness & Inner Conflict With Bilnita Armstead
29 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I sit down with Bilnita Armstead, a listener of the podcast, who shares her experience navigating a fearful avoidant attachment style...
The Attachment Rollercoaster: How to Feel Without Losing Control
20 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we explore why love can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—full of intense highs and painful lows. You’ll learn how different a...
Feeling Like You’re the Problem in an Anxious–Avoidant Relationship
24 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we unpack why anxious attachers often feel like they’re “too much” in relationships — especially when paired with avoidants. ...
Anxious & Avoidant: The Intellectual Intimacy Trap
17 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we explore the intellectual intimacy illusion — the trap many anxious and avoidant pairings fall into when deep conversations and s...
From Insight to Real Change in Attachment Patterns
09 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
A grounded conversation about why insight alone doesn’t change attachment patterns, and how real healing happens through consistent, embodied action...
Secure Dating vs. Survival Dating
12 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Modern dating is exhausting because most people are dating from nervous-system survival mode instead of from their Secure Self.In this episode, I brea...
How Your Attachment Style Was Formed
28 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we explore how your attachment style was formed and why you experience love the way you do. You’ll learn what emotional attunement ...
It Wasn’t The Avoidant: Healing The Parts That Made You Lose Yourself with Alix B. (Client Stories)
08 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I sit down with a former coaching client to unpack the all-too-common experience of losing yourself in a relationship, especially whe...
Six Habits of Securely Attached People (And How You Can Learn Them)
28 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Secure attachment isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you can learn. Today, we’re walking through six habits that define secure i...
Stepping Into the Unknown: Healing, Fear, and My Move to Hawaii
18 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I’m taking you behind the scenes of one of the biggest transitions of my life — moving to Hawaii — and sharing what it looked l...
When Abandonment Is Emotional, Not Physical
09 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Abandonment isn’t always about someone leaving. Sometimes, it’s about being unseen, unheard, or emotionally dismissed by the people closest to us....
Healing Your Attachment Through God with Gretchen Costanzo
14 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with Gretchen Costanzo, a certified integrative attachment coach and creator of the Living Connected Method, to ...
Passive vs. Rigid Anxious Attacher: Two Faces of Anxious Attachment
04 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Not all anxious attachers look the same. In this episode, I explore the Passive Anxious Attacher, who protects against loss by shrinking back, and the...
Passive vs. Rigid Avoidant Attacher: Two Faces of Avoidant Attachment
28 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Not all avoidants look the same. In this episode, I break down the two common ways avoidant attachment shows up in relationships: the Passive Avoidant...
What Does Relationship Compatibility Really Mean?
05 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Let’s Talk Attachments, we dive into what compatibility in relationships really means—and why it matters so much more than chem...
Going Deep Too Soon vs. Secure Pacing in Dating
22 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Diving deep too quickly in dating can feel exciting, but it often creates premature emotional bonds that blur your judgment of compatibility. In this ...
How I Molded Myself to Be a Magnet for Avoidant Partners
16 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I open up about how I subconsciously molded myself to attract avoidant partners and how that pattern was rooted in my earliest experi...
Thriving at Work Struggling in Love With Carly Ann
31 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Why is it that ambitious, successful women can thrive in their careers but feel lost in love?In this episode, Attachment Therapist and Coach Carly Ann...
Growing Pains of Becoming Securely Attached
22 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week on the podcast, we’re talking about the growing pains of becoming securely attached.It’s not just sunshine and inner peace—real hea...
How Avoidant Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies
15 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We often talk about the emotional distance of avoidant attachers—but what if that “selfishness” is actually a protective coping mechanism?In thi...
How Anxious Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies
09 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What if some of your anxious attachment behaviors are actually rooted in…selfishness? Not because you don’t care—but because fear can make every...
How Avoidance Sabotaged My Dating Life and What I Did About It With Lexi Stout (Client Stories)
01 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast, we’re joined by Lexi Stout—a former coaching client who opens up about her journey of recognizing how her avoidant attachmen...
What If Your Attachment Style Isn’t What You Thought?
23 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ever taken an attachment quiz and thought, “Yup, I’m anxious”… only to find yourself totally avoidant once real intimacy kicks in? In this epi...
The Unspoken Pain of Avoidant Attachment
19 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we explore the hidden struggles behind avoidant attachment through a candid conversation with someone who’s lived it.We discuss:🔹...
What Dating Securely Has Taught Me
13 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this personal episode, I take you behind the scenes of a recent dating experience that stirred up both growth and grief — and revealed just how f...
Letting Go of Unavailable Love: Meghan’s Journey to Security (Client Stories)
06 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast, we’re joined by the lovely Meghan Gatto.Meghan went through the My Secure Self group coaching program this past summer with th...
Healing Anxious Attachment and Learning to Be Okay Alone With Joe Reilly (Client Stories)
17 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today, I’m excited to introduce Joe Reilly, an incredible human and former coaching client of mine, who has been actively working to break his anxio...
How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship to Money With Shamina Taylor
12 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you know I love exploring how attachment styles impact all areas of life—not just relationshi...
Commitment vs. Compatibility: Are You in the Right Relationship?
06 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I explore the difference between commitment and compatibility, sharing my personal experience navigating these challenges in a past r...
Saying "No" to Emotional Unavailability and "Yes" to Secure Love With Sabrina Zohar
20 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast, I'm joined by dating coach Sabrina Zohar—best known for her transformative podcast, The Sabrina Zohar Show. She brings a n...
Embracing The Messy, Non-Linear Path of Grief With Melina Charis
12 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast we have Melina Charis. She is a writer and mentor for women moving through grief and heartbreak. She has 10+ years experience wi...
1-Year Breakup Update: A Personal Reflection
04 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you've been following my breakup journey, I wanted to share an update on my healing process now that it's been 1 year. My hope is that this gives y...
Is It Them or Me? Separating My Avoidant Fears With Randy Hamama (Client Stories)
06 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In today’s episode, former client and dismissive avoidant attacher Randy Hamama shares his journey of navigating insecurities in a new relationship....
How Our Attachment Style Influences Our Relationship to Food and our Body With Vanessa Scaringi and Kathryn Garland
17 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast, Vanessa Scaringi, PhD, CEDS-C, a licensed psychologist and certified eating disorder specialist supervisor, and Kathryn Garland,...
From Heartbreak to Finding Love With Hannah Flynn (Client Stories)
02 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In today's episode, the wonderful Hannah Flynn, a former client of mine, shares her journey of navigating her avoidant attachment style, overcoming de...
Getting Attached to Things Outside of Our Relationships (Personal Share)
20 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I had a revelation recently with a big life change. I noticed similar insecure ways of thinking and feeling surface that resembled how I used to feel ...
Redefining Your Perspective on Needs With Chris Rackliffe
18 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast we have Chris Rackliffe, also known as @crackliffe. He is a trauma healer, mental health advocate, anxious attachment style coach...
Somatic Experiencing for Healing Attachment Wounds With Lisa May Francisco
07 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast we have Lisa May Francisco who is a first-generation Filipino women’s empowerment coach, Kundalini yoga teacher, EFT practitio...
Identifying Subtle Signs of Dismissiveness in Your Partner and It’s Impact on Your Well-Being
26 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I discuss identifying subtle forms of dismissiveness in a partner and its impact on our well-being from a personal and general perspe...
How to Connect to Your Authentic (Secure) Self With Rebecca Haddock (Client Stories)
17 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast, we have a special guest: Rebecca Haddock. She is a badass businesswoman, scientist, inventor, and president of her company, Equi...
How Our Attachment Styles Affect Our Break-Ups With Lucy Price
30 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this podcast the podcast we have Lucy Price. Lucy is a breakup and relationship coach who helps individuals heal from heartbreak, get over their ex...
An Inside Look into the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Mind With Licensed Therapist Patch McCormick
17 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast, we have Patch McCormick, a former ad man turned relationship therapist for men, couples, and groups. Individually, he helps men ...
Recovering From Heartbreak - 8 Month Update (Through a Secure Lens)
10 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I wanted to share an update on my break-up recovery process, as I know many of you have found comfort in hearing about my experience, understanding yo...
How to Not "Attach" Quickly When Dating
03 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Learn why you may attach quickly and intensely to people in the early stages of dating, as well as how to take more of a detached approach to lessen t...
A Males Perspective on Having an Anxious Attachment Style With Jason Berry
31 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast, we have Jason Berry. He is a podcaster, entrepreneur, and amateur Hyrax athlete. A few months ago, I was a guest speaker on his ...
The Attachment Styles and Taking Things Personally
24 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you have an anxious, dismissive avoidant, or fearful avoidant attachment style, it’s most likely you are self-conscious and therefore take things...
How the Attachment Styles Experience Being Single
23 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this weeks podcast episode I talk about how anxious, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant and secure attachments experience single-hood and ways t...
Recovering From Heartbreak (Through a Secure Lens)
03 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share my personal experience of recovering from my recent breakup of almost 7 years (from a secure approach). Is the grass greener ...
How to Communicate With Someone Who Has Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
27 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Communication is important because it meets fundamental emotional needs that are at the root of our challenges. In this episode, you will learn helpfu...
How to Communicate With Someone Who Has a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style
14 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Communication is important because it meets fundamental emotional needs that are at the root of our challenges. In this episode, you will learn what t...
How to Communicate With Someone Who Has an Anxious Attachment Style
08 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Communication is important because it meets fundamental emotional needs that are at the root of our challenges. In this episode, you will learn what t...
Four Steps to Connect to Your “Secure Self”
24 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's podcast episode, I share four practical ways to connect to your “secure self” so that you can make decisions from a place of authen...
To Stay or Break-up? Leaving My Relationship of Six Years (Personal Share)
04 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Many of you know I was in a relationship for over six years. Though it was a beautiful relationship and healthy in many ways, some major core differen...
Overcoming Relationship Jealousy With Shanenn Bryant
14 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast, we have Shanenn Bryant, a relationship confidence expert, and the host of the Top Self podcast. Shanenn has inspired thousands t...
Trauma Recovery for Attachment Styles With Rowan Garlow
01 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast, we have Rowan Garlow, a trauma recovery practitioner who utilizes Voice Dialogue, Somatic Experiencing, Inner Child, and Soul Re...
Why We Tolerate Difficult Relationships
19 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I talk about why each attachment style tolerates difficult or painful relationships, why we aren’t stuck to these ways of experienc...
Simplifying the Four Attachment Styles with Dr. Anita Knight Kuhnley
08 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Dr. Anita Kuhnley is an author, esteemed scholar, expert counselor, and speaker who just released a book called “The Four Relationship Styles: How A...
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Compromise Within Relationships with Imani Tutt
01 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Imani Tutt, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Intuitive Coach talks about relationship compromise, why it’s normal, and healthy versus unhe...
Difference Between Relationship Anxiety and Relationship OCD with Dr. Holly Batchelder
24 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this week’s podcast episode, Dr. Holly Batchelder, a Seattle-based licensed clinical psychologist, shares her expertise on relationship anxiety a...
Difference Between Needs and Expectations
05 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's podcast episode, I talk about the difference between needs and expectations. Understanding this distinction can alleviate anxiety and c...
How To Stop Attracting Toxic People
27 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's podcast episode, I address the fear many of us hold about why we attract toxic people and the real (transformative) questions we need t...
How Alcoholic Parent(s) Influence the Development of Our Attachment Style
18 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
PODCAST In this week's podcast episode, I share how having alcoholic parents (one or both) can influence the development of anxious, dismissive avoi...
How I Navigate the Distance in My Relationship (Anxious - Avoidant Dynamic)
08 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's podcast episode, I share my personal experience with navigating the distance in my relationship, as we tend to spend long periods apart...
How To Navigate Relationship Ambivalence (Aka, Confusion and Indecision)
29 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Relationship ambivalence (aka, confusion or indecision) is very common for those of us who have an anxious, dismissive avoidant, or fearful avoidant a...
Putting Myself First with Alicia (Client Stories)
24 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast we have a special guest. Alicia is a former attachment coaching client of mine sharing her experience with having an anxious atta...
How to Measure Your Progress in Developing a Secure Attachment Style
16 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Dismantle misconceptions about developing a secure attachment style and learn how to measure your progress accurately. ——— Coach with me: jessi...
How Each Attachment Style Experiences 5 Stages of a Relationship
26 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Learn about how each attachment style moves through the 5 relationship stages. This episode focuses highly on the insecure attachment styles (anxious,...
Normalizing “The Icks” in Dating and Relationships with Kelsey Wonderlin
10 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today on the podcast, we have Kelsey Wonderlin. Kelsey is a licensed therapist and a dating and relationship coach. She helps women who struggle with...
Navigating a Break-Up As Someone With an Anxious Attachment Style with Alexa (Client Stories)
02 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Today we have a special guest, Alexa. She is a mother, a humanitarian, a leader, a former client of mine, and just a beautiful soul who was willing to...
Can We Change Our Attachment Style? (The Honest Truth)
26 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share what research says about whether we can actually change our attachment style. ——— Coach with me: www.jessicadasilvacoa...
Realities for Insecure Attachers in Relationships
07 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share some hard truths about how insecure attachments (anxious, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant variations) experience re...
Normalizing Insecurities and Relationship Anxiety
23 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share my experience with relationship anxiety in hopes of normalizing the ebbs and flows that naturally occur in relationships, esp...
Why Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Attract Each Other
15 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share why anxious and avoidant attachments are attracted to each other from an attachment lens, and how they can work towards creat...
How Understanding Attachment Styles Can Help Your Relationships
08 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share how understanding attachment styles can help your relationships in a multitude of ways. This includes relationships with part...
Differences Between Coaching and Therapy
02 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share some major differences between coaching and therapy, in order to help you identify which approach is best for you. I also sha...
Set Boundaries & Reclaim Your Power with Arnie (Client Stories)
20 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What you'll learn… * The challenges of co-parenting and how to navigate it in a secure way * The importance of setting boundaries to reclaim your p...
How Attachment Styles May Self-Sabotage Dating & Relationships
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What you'll learn… * Defining relationship self-sabotage. * How each attachment style (including secure attachments) may sabotage dating and relati...
Unhealthy Vs. Healthy Ways Attachment Styles Communicate Needs
26 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What you’ll learn in this episode: -Why we have difficulty communicating our needs. -The consequences of not communicating our needs directly. -How ...
How Each Attachment Style Parents Their Children
19 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What you’ll learn in this episode: -How each attachment style parents their children. -How to form secure bonds with your children. -Why you shouldn...
Navigating Relationship Anxiety For Fearful Avoidant Attachment with Bouket (Client Stories)
02 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, former client, Bouket, shares her experience navigating her fearful avoidant attachment style. We touch on relationship anxiety, intu...
What If Your Relationship Needs Change?
18 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share how common it is for our relationship needs to change, how that impacts our life, how to identify what those needs are, and h...
Saving My Relationship Through Saving Myself (A personal share on meeting my needs)
16 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Why did I move away from my fiancé after getting engaged? In this episode, I share my personal experience with saving my relationship through saving ...
Anxious Attachments & Long Distance Relationships with Zahirah Evitt
27 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Free 5-Day Series Attachment Style Guide: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.lpages.co/attachement-guide/ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva....
Attachment Styles and Hook-Ups
18 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Free 5-Day Series Attachment Style Guide: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.lpages.co/attachement-guide/ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva...
Honoring Your Anxious Attachment Style and Creating More Security with Chris Rackliffe
27 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Today's guest is Chris Rackliffe. Chris is an author and Anxious Attachment Coach who shares his personal story, wisdom, and tips to guiding anxious a...
Benefits of Dating Each Attachment Style
18 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
My Secure Self E-Course https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course Find me at: Instagram: @thejessicadasilva Tiktok: @jessicadasilva...
How Attachment Styles Cope With Relationship Anxiety (Activating & Deactivating Strategies)
08 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I talk about how the insecure attachment styles (anxious, dismissive avoidant and fearful avoidant) cope with relationship anxiety. ...
How To Reverse The “Caretaker Role” (for anxious and fearful avoidant attachments)
01 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I talk about how (and why) anxious and fearful avoidant attachments identify as “caretaker”, “savior” and/or “fixer” in t...
The Feminine and Masculine Polarity of Attachment Styles with Natalie Kennedy
21 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Relationship Anxiety Coach and founder of Anxious Love Coach, Natalie Kennedy, shares her personal experience with relationship anxie...
Owning Your Anxious Attachment Style with Rikki Cloos
14 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, writer and content creator behind @anxiousheartsguide, Rikki Cloos, shares the healing power of owning your anxious attachment style....
How To Soothe Your Anxiety with Gabrielle Gonzalez, LMFT
08 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist + Mindfulness Expert Gabrielle Gonzalez shares her challenges with having an Anxious Attachmen...
How We Restored Our Fearful Avoidant Mother/Daughter Relationship with Jessica and Denise Da Silva
01 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
My goal with this podcast is to give you guys an inside look into my relationship with my mother. If you’ve been listening for a while, you know my ...
How Each Attachment Style Manages Financial Insecurity Within Relationships With Ed Coambs
23 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Ed Coambs, a Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Financial Therapist & Planner, talks about how each attachment style experie...
Healing My Avoidant Attachment Wounds with Ren Russ
16 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, guest speaker Ren Russ talks about her challenges in dating and relationships with having an avoidant attachment style. Ren speaks to...
What To Do When Your Needs Are Not Being Met
11 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I talk about some key essential elements for deciphering whether your needs are or are not being met in your relationship and what to...
The Relationship Survival Kit w/ Jessica Da Silva and Jemma Joel
03 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Todays podcast episode is a little different as I am sharing an interview in which I was a guest on Jemma Joels The Dating Diaries Podcast. I loved o...
Healing My Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style with Meghan (Client Stories)
28 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, former coaching client Meghan Kelley shares her journey of beginning overcome her fearful avoidant attachment style and her favorite ...
From Fearful Avoidant To Secure Love with Priyanka Y. (Client Stories)
27 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Intimacy and Dating Coach Priyanka Yadvendu shares her story of healing her Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style and finally experiencin...
Attachment Type Combinations in Relationships
13 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I talk about how each attachment style experiences relationships with other attachment styles and tips to mitigate certain challenges...