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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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A nice life is that little something extra. It's I experience joy and pleasure. And I made those things for myself. I had agency and I made choices that allowed me to feel that little bit of sparkle, that little bit of like twinkle in your eye, that spring in your step, a little mischief.
You're listening to Life Kit. I'm Marielle Segarra. We did a live taping recently at WBUR Fest, a festival hosted by Boston NPR station WBUR. Fun fact, also where I started out as a public radio intern. The topic was how to have a nice life. And our guest was Rachel Wilkerson Miller, who's the senior editor at Vox and has a book coming out called The Nice Life.
How to elevate the everyday and find joy in what you have. Yeah, I think there's a bit of elegance in a nice life. But again, when we say elegance, I think we often would think of spending a lot of money. But we've talked about this. Can you buy your way to a nice life?
Absolutely not. And that to me is central. I say in the book, it's about punching above your weight without living above your means. It's about finding ways. to elevate, to bring a little something extra that often doesn't cost money. Like it could be a meaningful conversation with a friend or a neighbor.
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Chapter 2: What does it mean to pursue a 'nice life'?
It could be something you thrifted or got at a garage sale or found in the garbage that brings you a lot of joy. It could be something that you make yourself and use very inexpensive materials, or again, something you found in the recycling bin. I think people sort of know those things when they see them. But so much of it goes back to creativity, art, and connection with other people.
On this episode of Life Kit, you'll hear that conversation. We talk about art and beauty, curiosity, falcons, Ulysses S. Grant, and much more. In the book, you lay out qualities to pursue if you are trying to cultivate a nice life. And one of those is beauty. Can you talk about what that means to you?
So I mentioned art is a huge part of this. And I think beauty can exist in a lot of different ways. It could be a beautiful building or architecture or the face of somebody you care about or a flower. I think just starting to look for it and really orienting yourself toward it is so exciting and thrilling. And again, it helps remind you that, oh, these things exist in all these different places.
It's not necessarily about something that is expensive or that I'm seeing on Instagram that I want to buy. It can be so much simpler than that. And it's so often human made. And I think really starting to look for art in my everyday life was a really transformative experience because I used to think of art as something that I like went out and did and And I still do that.
I still go to shows and I go to museums and I love those experiences. But there's art everywhere. And I think once you start to notice it, it's so satisfying and reassuring and kind of thrilling. And that's a really easy example of how to just find a little bit of beauty in your everyday life.
Well, let's talk about the consumer aspect of it because I feel like when you are seeking especially beauty in your space, you can end up thinking that means I have to buy all this stuff. And you can also sort of be stealing from your own joy because you're working towards some –
future version of you and your home, for instance, where everything's going to be perfect and look just like a magazine. And that to me seems like the opposite of a nice life. I wonder what your advice is for folks who find themselves in that spiral, AKA me.
Yeah.
Well, I should say for starters, like I am not a minimalist, so I understand this tension very well. And I think one thing I've had to learn over the years is what stuff will actually make me happy or mean something to me and what stuff I will change. regret kind of immediately or it'll end up in a landfill.
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Chapter 3: How can you find beauty in everyday life?
When we come back, more from Rachel about how to cultivate the skill of noticing. Each story you hear on Planet Money starts with a question. What happens if we refund tariffs? Why are groceries so expensive? At NPR, we stand for your right to be curious because the forces shaping our world can be hard to see.
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A lot of this goes back to the art of noticing. At Life Kit, we talk about this a lot. We talk about basically mindfulness techniques that help you stay present and help you just live a happier life, I would say. Live a life where you're seeing what's in front of you. And part of that is about putting down your phone so that you can notice things and leaving space to notice.
All of this is a way of stepping outside of yourself. And I think that's really important. I think especially if you're on your phone a lot or only talking to your partner or a couple of coworkers or whoever, you forget there's a big world out there. We're going to get through this. It's going to be okay. And I think that perspective and feeling a little small is helpful.
Like one of the things I like about art and museums is it's like, oh my God, 300 years ago, people were concerned about the same things. They were concerned about war and losing a loved one and grieving, but they were also, they loved their pet and they wanted to remember this beautiful peach.
And I think just seeing that really helps me when I'm struggling to just step outside of myself and to sort of get that perspective that can be hard day to day.
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Chapter 4: What role does creativity play in shaping a nice life?
It's just a rec league softball game. But it was this huge opportunity to see this gorgeous bird, which gets to another point in your book about curiosity.
I love this. So I interviewed an awe researcher for this book who is incredible. He researches awe as a way of being resilient.
And awe is like, what is, how can you define awe?
Yeah.
You can describe it as something that moves you, that like forces you to accommodate a new way of thinking. And he and I talked about like, that's like big awe. That's standing in front of the Grand Canyon and feeling so moved and a little afraid. But there's also little awe, which you can't experience the Grand Canyon every day. Like those are going to be rare moments throughout your life.
But little awe might be just seeing a flower or seeing a falcon. These moments that are not so transformative, but that they do pull you out of your own head help you in the present moment, spark curiosity. And one of the things that he was saying is that awe on its own is great, but the experience of talking about or experiencing awe with somebody else is even better.
So just you sharing this story right now is like a great way of connecting because now I'm learning something about you and like we can like sort of share in this together. That's a perfect encapsulation of the sort of curiosity and moments that to me make up a nice life.
Yeah, I think sometimes it's about remembering that you have agency in a lot of situations that you might not think.
Like places where we're on autopilot, you're in the middle of a softball game or you're in the middle of a meeting or the middle of a doctor's appointment or someplace where you're not supposed to stop and ask a question, someplace where you're not supposed to stop and notice something funny or beautiful. But we actually have in a lot of situations agency to stop and and do that.
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Chapter 5: How can mindfulness enhance your daily experiences?
I don't need to explain myself. I just like to know more and following it as far as it takes you is such a pleasure. And it's so nice to just, again, I'm seeking this out. Isn't this interesting? What can it tell me about the world we live in or myself or just be entertaining? And it's such a delight.
Anything that can connect you to other people throughout history or other people right now, but just something that reminds you this feeling I'm having or this experience that I'm having is not uniquely mine. And I look at that as a good thing, whether it's a good feeling or a bad feeling. I think it's important to remember that. that somebody else has felt it before. That makes me feel better.
It makes me feel more connected to people. It makes me feel more empathetic. So I think that is one of the great things about art is that it's this like tangible proof that somebody felt this way before. And curiosity is like what draws you to it in this moment.
Yeah, I like to think of curiosity as adding texture to my day, adding color. 100%.
And one of the researchers I spoke to for the book who researches curiosity made the point that we often think of it as Wikipedia rabbit holes, but curiosity can also just be curiosity. asking another person about their life or their experiences. And so you don't necessarily have to do it in that way if that's not how you want to or whatever the case may be.
Like, you can satisfy your curiosity by just talking to somebody. And I think that's a really good reminder that there are interesting people and experiences all around us all the time. And, like, you could... think about aging by reading this book, but you could also, you know, talk to a family member or a neighbor or a coworker. Like there's so many ways to do curiosity.
And I think just remembering other people are a great way to do it as well was one of the lessons I took away from this.
When we're back, I read some questions from the audience about how community and values fit into a nice life.
This week on Up First, President Trump dispatched J.D. Vance to peace talks in Switzerland. Now the U.S. and Iran say they have a roadmap for peace. We'll have the latest on any overnight developments. Plus, it's another week of primary elections. We'll discuss the results and what they mean for November.
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of curiosity in cultivating joy?
I hope that more men feel comfortable pursuing these things if they feel nice to them. And again, beauty can be defined however you want it to be. Curiosity can lead you wherever it leads you. It should be sort of this authentic experience.
But I would hate for people to deprive themselves of art and connection with other people and good food and joy and play because they feel like it competes with their version of what their gender should be. Like, honestly, that idea bums me out so much. So I hope that if men don't feel comfortable with this right now that they stop and think, like, there's space for you here. And...
even if it feels a little hard at first, I think once you start to do it, it's such an immediate gratification that you kind of stop thinking about that stuff.
I mean, I think some of the interests I expressed or the examples I gave are sort of masculine coded. I was out playing softball, saw a falcon. I'm learning about Ulysses S. Grant. Very true. Right. There's a lot for you here, whoever asked that question.
I think it's the vulnerability and the community piece that makes it harder. But again, people really want to connect. They really want to make friends. They're hoping somebody will offer that. And so again, if that's what you want, just reach out. Again, there will be somebody there who's excited to hear from you.
I think there's an element here of deciding what your values are and what makes a nice life for you. A lot of the ones that you laid out feel universal, you know, whether it's about connection and community or art and curiosity. and beauty, but there might be others too. Service, for instance, is another one or... Family could be another one.
There's so many ways to define your nice life. And I think I tried to pick things that felt really universal across time and space. But I think this is really about making decisions that matter to you with intention. And you can't do that if you don't know what matters to you. So... taking a step back and saying, what is important to me?
What do I want to be able to say that I've done in five years or 10 years? What do I want to experience? We'll take you very far. So that is a really good place to start and help you make decisions around how you want to live your life.
All right, everybody. Thank you so much. Thanks, Rachel. Thank you. Okay, y'all, it's time for a recap. Takeaway one. If you want to have a nice life, seek beauty. That doesn't necessarily mean buying anything. Look around you. What did you see today that was beautiful? Allow yourself to experience awe when you look at a bird or a flower or an architectural marvel or a really old book.
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Chapter 7: How can you foster meaningful connections in your community?
Build community. And remember, these are just a starting point. Think about your own values and what will make your life feel special, a little sparkly, and a little extra. All right, that's our show. If Life Kit is part of your weekly ritual... Make it official on the NPR app. You'll hear about every episode the moment it's ready. Just turn on notifications and we'll handle the rest.
See you there. Download the NPR app today. This episode of Life Kit was produced by Margaret Serino. Our digital editor is Malika Gharib and our visuals editor is CJ Rikalan. Lauren Gonzalez is our executive producer, and Megan Cain is our senior supervising editor. Our production team also includes Andy Tegel, Claire Marie Schneider, and Sylvie Douglas.
Engineering support comes from Peter Alaina. Special thanks to Stephen Davey, Eva Rosenberg, and Ben Brock Johnson at WBUR. I'm Mariel Cigarra. Thanks for listening. The fatal shooting of a teenager at a protest in Seattle has gone unsolved for six years.
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I do think that you can find ways to be challenged and excited by things that might not be navigating the straight of her moves.
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