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Chapter 1: What happened to Lu during her MRI appointment?
This is a Global Player original podcast.
Be warned, it's Luana, and this podcast contains honest upfront opinions, rants, bants, and general explicit content. But you know you love it. Oh, I thought it was Gordon Ramsay's daughter. I have actually had to stop myself from messaging him in previous years. I'm so happy that's not me. It is the best Chris I have ever had. They could have Ant and Dec. But you can have us instead. Yeah.
The cheaper version. What better compliment than she's just so unrelatable. Guten tag! Guten tag, guten tag, guten tag. Good morning, everybody.
Chapter 2: What are the latest updates on Lu's home renovation?
Welcome. It's a fresh old week. It's fresh. I'm feeling fresh. My fanny is fresh. Oh, God. Thanks to Femme Fresh.
Is it actually fresh today? Lovely. Oh, we've got in the first eight seconds.
Wow, we had a lot there.
The full repertoire. Well, if you need an introduction, obviously, that is Louisa. I am Anna. Producer Imo.
Chapter 3: Who is part of the new Celebrity Traitors cast?
Crumble's here. Yeah, Crumble is here. I will say hello.
Crumble, say hello to your fans. Taught him how to speak now.
He's got a stinky bone. But he is looking very clean and fluffy. I'm also going to say, Lou, the other week you put up a reel. The reel? It might have been Nanny C. Who has the tats on their arm? Nanny C. Oh, it was Nanny C then.
Did you think it wasn't me because of the tats? I knew it wasn't you because of the tats. Oh, no. She is into crumble.
Chapter 4: What funny story involves a stolen bin in Birmingham?
And actually, when we first got crumble and she found out we were getting a dog, she was like, I don't really like dogs. I'm scared of dogs. And I was like... I was like, well, you need to go for it because I'm getting a dog. And she lives in with us. Anyway, she loves Crumble. He's hardly an Alsatian. Do you know what I mean?
She absolutely adores Crumble now, Nanny C. I mean, sometimes I can't find Crumble and he's with her. And she loves, she's really bloody good at content as well, can we just say. She made the pancake.
I just wanted to, I didn't see the pancakes one. I just wanted to say though, so Lou's got the cute crumble Collins, I think is her dog page. Yes, follow her at cute.crumble.collins. The dog page that is giving us much hilarity because she used to slag off people that had a dog page.
Chapter 5: How did a woman's open marriage lead to unexpected feelings?
But we now have one. It was a very good reel, though. I did think that is clearly not Lou's hand because she doesn't have tattoos on her arms. But I was like, whoever is doing this, they're doing all the nail tappy shit that influencers do. I'm not going to lie. I did have a bit of a smirk on that. And I was like, hilarious. It's a very good dog washing reel.
Someone sent a message. Please could you let me know the breed of details of crumble? I'm looking for a reptile breed. Let me tell you. Crumble was bought from a pet shop in Dubai in his little glass cage. It ain't the kennel club, babes.
We obviously have the main man himself in here at the moment, which is a joy.
Chapter 6: What important message is conveyed through Carrie Johnson's story?
Imogen Rose Letizia Hart, what have you been up to, bird? Good morning. You had a lovely trip to Oslo recently, did thee not? I did. I did. Where is Oslo again?
In Norway, Sweden. In Norway. Now, let me tell you. Yeah. It's bloody expensive there. Really? Yeah.
It's so expensive.
I knew Scandinavia was expensive, but meals were... You're paying at least 25 quid for a standard main course.
Chapter 7: What humorous mishap occurred with a fishing hook?
But apparently there they have really good social...
like it's quite socialist i think like everyone's quite equal and they have like i don't really know what it is the planet is really good to live there it's it's up there as one of the most but the most popular most what is the word not healthy but the happiest or it tends to win those sort of global awards doesn't it or the most aspirational or um healthy place to live yeah
And let me tell you, the population of Norway, some of the most attractive people I've ever seen in my life.
Really?
The average attractiveness level is wildly higher than here. Yeah, everyone was gorgeous.
Well, everyone in England's quite ugly. I mean, I know that's very sweeping.
Also, we forgot to say as well, guys, that if you haven't done so yet, can you please follow our little podcast, please? On your favourite podcast platform and giss a subscribe on YouTube. Hola, YouTubers!
Sorry, I've totally wiped my nose in a really unattractive way.
Now, listen, what have we been getting up to? Now, listen, I had... I've got an ailment of the week.
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Chapter 8: What is the significance of the episode's closing remarks?
What's your ailment of the week? I've had an MRI. Oh, yeah. What is the update on that? Well, I haven't got it yet. I'll get the results today. Oh. But I've got like a weird stiff neck. Locked jaw. Too many blousers. Andrew wishes. Look, that is my... It's like your full rotation. Hold on.
You took your stennies out then, did you? Because she couldn't have her MRI.
So I'm depressed. So I went to have an MRI. And then they were like, have you got any metal in your body? And I was like, yeah, in my left leg, my tibula, my fibula, plates and pins, blah, blah, blah. She was like, okay, no problem. Because obviously they were MRIing my shoulders and my neck. And then I was like, well, I have got the little micro ring hair extensions in.
And she's like, oh, we can't do it then. And I was like, oh, they're really small. I'm sure it'll be fine. It's like microwaving tin foil. I was like, I'm sure it'll be fine. I said, why don't we just give it a try? Oh, you didn't. And then she went, no, we can't because your whole head will heat up. I was just about to say. And it's also a magnet and it will like suck you to the side.
And I was like, right. Classic Louf. Look, I'm on a time limit. Give it a try, will you? I don't know when I'm going to be able to come back though to have an MRI. Can you please do it now? We'll shave my head. Yeah, she was like, no, we can't do it. Anyway, bless Nanny C again. She's a good egg. Came home that night. Didn't get home till nine because my appointment was late.
And then she sat there. She took all my stennies out for me. And then I had a superfood schedule, but I managed to get the MRI before a flight, which was handy. But now I have no extensions in and I feel like a bald baby. I feel like I'm boss baby with no fucking hair. I actually quite like you with a slick back look. Doesn't it look bad? Well, a slick back is greasy.
I need to wash it up for later.
Trust me, after the nurse's Amazon outfit last week, I would tell you. But I can't get a payback because it looks all right. I wish it looked shit. But it doesn't look shit. And it just feels so small and pathetic.
Oh, it does though when Stenny's come out. Like me. Put your clip-ins in. I am. Oh, I put them in for an event. So I'm going to wear them. That's nice. Well, so what do we, do they give you any indication on what's wrong with a sticky neck? No, because when you have the MRI, they just do it and then they feed back to the doctor. And then I've got my follow up with my doctor today. Oh.
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