Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Hey y'all, welcome back to Made It Out. Today I'm here with Freya Evans from the Lesbian Slipper Club.
Oh, thank you so much for having me. This came together so last minute. So last minute.
Chapter 2: How did Freya start the Lesbian Supper Club?
Everything I've done these past three days has been last minute. I just got ready in half an hour. Like, I was panicking. Well, you look stunning.
I'm trying. This is really high up here. We are like 60 second floor at Spotify. That's where we're at right now.
The view is incredible. Did you feel like when you got into the elevator and you landed, you were like... Yeah. Like vertigo a little bit. Yeah, I've never experienced a height like this in my life.
Really? Yeah, I'm sweating. And it's your first time to New York. Yes, it is. Yeah. So I got so many DMs. Yeah. Being like, lesbian slipper club is there. You have to see them. You have to. So immediately I was like, OK, hey, like everybody is telling me we have to meet.
Well, absolutely. We call it serendipity or we can just call it lesbians. Right. And I think that the lesbian power is like insane. I got a message from you and I was at the airport and I was like, oh, fuck. I was like, this is a Made It Out podcast. I was like, Mal's just messaged. Yeah, let's do this. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I'm already running around everywhere.
And I'm like, I will find time.
I love it.
Tell me what you're doing here. Basically, with the podcast, we noticed that we had a load of women that were like, OK, we really need to make queer friends. How the fuck have you managed to do it? Because we always talk about our gay friends. And we thought, how about we make it into an actual night for these women instead of like a meet and greet or anything like this?
It's like, no, let's have a night where we all just like get a couple of drinks. We take over a straight space and And have it so it's a bit more sophisticated. It's a different kind of crowd. It's the ones that want to actually meet and talk and listen to live music or a good DJ and just chat and make a community. And we got really lucky because over in London, the girls were like, fuck yes.
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Chapter 3: What challenges did Freya face while building community?
We were like, okay, how are we going to make this the most hectic we possibly can? We're both ADHD as fuck, really bad at organizing. It's a little bit of that. I did say to Scarlett, I was like, why twice in a row? And she's like, I don't know.
It's okay.
And the flights were getting more and more expensive. And the cheapest ones were like the day before. When I tell you expensive, I mean like four grand.
Yeah, that's insane. Yeah.
So we were like, OK, we're just going to have to power on through.
But I'm happy you're doing two nights because I'll be there tonight. I'm very excited to meet everybody. I'm excited to meet Scarlett. We get that question a lot, too. Help me find community. Help me find friends. I feel like our missions are very aligned, which is probably why people are putting us together.
I am very much wanting to kind of continue that mission of helping bridge that gap and helping people find community because you move to these big cities and it's like you kind of fall into it. But if you're lucky enough.
You do, right? And I feel like if we were lucky enough to do it, why wouldn't we ever create the space? Pay it forward. Pay it forward, honey. I'm like the Jehovah's Witness of lesbians. I'm going to start knocking on people's door and be like, have you ever heard of a lesbian? Amen. Amen. And then the man's shutting the door, the wife is in the back like, hold on a second.
Wait, huh?
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Chapter 4: How does Freya create intentional spaces for connection?
I couldn't really accept it until I was about 23. And I really struggled with my sexuality for so long. I had really bad internalized homophobia. I'd hear the word lesbian and just jump out of my fucking skin. I really hated it. And that was one of the reasons, actually, why we called it Lesbian Supper Club, because we wanted the name in there. Because it's such a buzzword.
They're like, oh, I don't want to say lesbian. And it's like, honey, what's going to happen?
lesbian is a good word and people I think still now shy away from it and they're like oh I'm gay or like because they don't want to say that word which for me I think is crazy you know now but back then yeah if I heard the word lesbian there's there's no way I would have ever used it that was a big reason as to why to do the podcast as well because I know how it feels to really hate who you are and it's just there's no reason to hate it at the end of the day
I feel very similarly, especially I feel like I mean, being a femme is just such a specific experience of like not being able to see yourself. And I felt the same way with Made It Out. Like it is a very femme forward podcast. Like obviously I'm femme presenting and it's like, well, that's because I didn't see that. We didn't see it.
I mean, babe, I grew up so tomboy though. So like you did. Yeah. The writing was on the walls. The writing was so clear. The fact I had to come out is embarrassing actually. So you went tomboy to more femme. Yes. Oh, my God. Wait, I have never heard this.
This trajectory? Never.
It's strange, right? And yeah, I think it's because, I don't know, maybe it's because I was attracted to girls. Maybe I felt like I wanted to look more like a boy.
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Chapter 5: What impact did a breakup have on Freya's business?
I don't really know. Or I just loved jorts. I loved jorts. And I loved having my mullet. A mullet. I have to get a picture of this. Have you thought about going back to the mullet? Do you think? Babe, I know I've been going through a breakup, but not that bad. Honestly. You're also going through it right now? Yeah. I mean, well, we actually broke up. This might be our anniversary.
I think broke up about a year ago. Yeah. Wow. So it's been a year. It's been a year. No mullets right now, but you never know. It could always get worse.
Yeah. I think it sounds like we've made it through the mullet stage. I think we have. Yeah. I think we're okay. Okay. So tell me, how did you become okay with it? Was it your family? Was it that way? Is it the culture over there that made you kind of hate it? What was it?
So my older sister is gay, too. Oh my gosh. Yeah, and she's a gold star. So she's one of the lucky ones, honey. Lucky. Yeah. She's seven years older than me. She came out when she was 16. That did not go down well at all with my mum. It was pretty tragic. And then over time, things got better. And now she's like, fine. You know, my mum is fine. But I knew that she would be the same with me.
I just knew it. So I was like... And I also didn't want Megan, my older sister, to get in trouble. My sister is also a lesbian influencer, which is quite funny. Love it. Super femme, like the first femmes that were ever on YouTube. Back in the day, they were long distance Hawaii to here. So I went through all of that, seeing that. So I knew that lesbians could be femme.
It wasn't even about that, really. I think wider representation would have been better. I think I clung on to the Santana from Glee for a little bit when I was 15, 16. I'm just like, okay, that's fine. I think it is just more of like a culture thing.
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Chapter 6: How did Freya navigate her identity and relationships?
I grew up in a place called Windsor, which is like a, I wouldn't say the word posh, but it's kind of like a posh town. It's where the castle is and everyone's a little bit like uptight. And I was already weird. So I couldn't afford to be gay. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I already had like, was ticking all the other boxes. I'm ADHD. I got anxiety. I got the mullet.
Can't I gay on top of the mullet? Although it does go hand in hand.
I was like, yeah. Yeah.
I think you could actually. I think it probably would have made a lot more sense. Yeah. And then for some reason, I don't know, I kind of got over the mallet phase. Okay. I think it was more so because I was like trying to get boyfriends because I wanted to like have a shield. So you had boyfriends when? From the age of, oh God, I would say like 14.
I would like start dating boys until I was about 18.
Hey, everybody. My name is Bob the Drag Queen. And I'm Monet X Change. And we are the hosts of Sibling Rivalry. This is a podcast where two best friends gab, talk, smack, and have a lot of fun with our black queer selves. Yeah, for sure. And, you know, we are family. So we talk about everything, honey, from why we don't like hugs to Black Lives Matter to interracial dating to other things.
Right, Bob? Yes, and it gets messy, and we are not afraid to be wrong. So please join us over here at Sibling Bribery, available anywhere you get your podcasts. You can listen and subscribe for free. For free, honey. Hi, we are Dan. And Phil. And Hard Launch is our male podcast. We'll call it male podcast. About the power of living your truth. We're better than that, honestly.
Well, it's mostly us accidentally spilling scandalous info about our past dating lives. True, and getting into inappropriately domestic arguments about it. After 16 years on YouTube, we decided to hard launch our relationship, and now we are emboldened to overshare with you. So you might have seen us on Grindr this week.
What?
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Chapter 7: What is the significance of representation in the LGBTQ+ community?
He did. I have a confession. I completely thought you catfished me when we first met. What? Join us every Monday on Hard Launch with Dan and Phil. Hard Mondays, start your week hard. Sorry.
So what made you come out? What made you figure it out?
Well, I fell in love with a girl over in Brazil. Very chic. I mean, Brazil is great. I want to go back. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah. I want to do January in Brazil. Do you want to come? Yeah, let's go. I just met you. Let's fucking go. Honestly, both of us going through a breakup. Rio? Yes. Come on. It makes sense. It writes itself.
And we can do interviews there.
Okay. Let's talk about that. Fantastic.
We'll take this offline.
Yeah, yeah. Come on, Brazil. We're coming. They always get so excited as well, the Brazilians. Like, as soon as they hear Brazil, they're like, oi! Like, they just get so excited.
We should do, like, a made-it-out lesbian supper club collab in Brazil.
Oh.
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Chapter 8: How does Freya manage her mental health and self-acceptance?
That would go off.
That would go off.
I think I would like actually have a meltdown like in a really positive way.
That sounds so fun to me. It does. And I haven't signed a lease. You need to get yourself over to London. I've thought about like where should I go? London. I can go interview. You have friends I can come and interview, right?
Yeah, yeah. And I've got a three bed in Notting Hill. Two spare.
Oh, fuck it.
I'm coming. Come on.
I'm coming there and then we're going to Brazil. Yeah.
the London lesbians will eat you alive we just needed to meet I know where have you been dude if I would have seen us yeah at my little gay queer age yeah I would have been like I'm gay same I would have literally been proud about it too you know and that is why it's good that we're doing what we're doing but um sorry yeah going back to the the boyfriends I had all the boyfriends I did all that fell in love with the girl from Brazil because it felt safe for me that she was long distance I thought no one's gonna like know mm-hmm
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