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Mamamia Out Loud

The Family Ritual That Has Us Divided

26 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.47 - 3.815 Unknown

You're listening to a Mamma Mia podcast.

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7.361 - 21.283 Clare Stephens

Hello and welcome out louders. This isn't quite like a usual show, but I am here with one Claire Stephens. Hello. One Emily Vernon. We are not really here. I know.

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Chapter 2: What family ritual sparked the discussion in this episode?

21.583 - 22.044 Emily Vernon

Where are we?

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22.064 - 24.227 Clare Stephens

What are you doing? What are you doing?

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24.548 - 30.777 Emily Vernon

I am in or on the Mornington Peninsula. Oh, you are too for the Sorrento Writers Festival. Yeah, yeah.

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30.797 - 34.163 Clare Stephens

So that's where Claire is right now as you're listening to this. What are you doing?

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34.223 - 38.609 Unknown

I'm recovering from playing two up at the pub.

39.531 - 56.818 Clare Stephens

Might come in tomorrow, might not. We'll see. I have got a house full of guests, women and children only and dogs, women and children only at my house. So that's what I'm doing today. But we thought since this is only a holiday for some bits of Australia and most of Australia actually just going about their business like normal.

57.102 - 71.525 Clare Stephens

that you did deserve an episode even though ourselves and our team are on a break today. So what we've done is we've pulled a conversation out of our Outlouders group, which is what we do love to do that because you're always having the best conversations in there. They're so smart. They are on Facebook.

72.126 - 84.426 Clare Stephens

And we thought we would pull out a question in there that really grabbed us and unpick it because the Outlouders wanted to unpick this one too, right? It's about family group chats.

85.486 - 107.768 Emily Vernon

Who wants to read it out? I can read it out. Okay. The Outlouder writes, I have three beautiful and amazing kids, 21, 19 and 16. Two are studying away from home and the third is enduring conversation cards at dinner and board games with the parentals. He actually loves it. I hate it, she says. I really enjoy this.

Chapter 3: How does the Sunday Roast group chat work?

255.184 - 258.289 Unknown

And my mum's more like in-person interactions very quickly.

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259.191 - 259.832 Clare Stephens

Yeah.

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259.852 - 270.496 Unknown

So I think it's when I read this. So on a normal week you would see them how many times? I would see my mum at least twice a week. I would see my dad probably once to two weeks.

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270.516 - 281.291 Clare Stephens

And then you're also messaging in the group chat. Yeah. And then do you directly message your mum separately too? Yeah. And all of them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you have another family group chat that's a bit broader?

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281.471 - 301.963 Unknown

Yeah, and then I have my mum's side, like my aunt's, uncle's, like, My dad's there and my cousins and that's mainly talking about like Nana and our papa when he was alive and communications about who's seeing her, who's picking her up, pretty much who has her that weekend.

302.303 - 321.432 Unknown

And then I have my extended cousins chat and then my cousins chat on my dad's side and then my cousins chat on my grandfather's side and my cousins chat on my grandmother's side. And what happens in the cousins chats? Oh, it's just like, well, I'm really lucky. I'm really lucky because me and my cousins are all the same age. So it's like, who's coming out tonight? Who's drinking tonight?

322.153 - 344.266 Unknown

Let's go out. Is anyone going to this uncle's birthday party? Yes or no? So it's a lot of like, let's make sure we're all on the same page. What does cocktail attire mean? Can someone send me photos of what they're wearing to the wedding? A lot of that. And then I have just a chat with my nana, which is her accidentally calling me and then me replying going, hey, Nana, did you call? I missed it.

344.306 - 357.463 Unknown

I'm sorry. And then her just not responding. Her being like, why are you messaging me? A lot of family communication going on. It's a lot. But, like, I think I'm one of that family that's a lot of communication. The thing is I actually bristled at this post because –

357.511 - 366.065 Unknown

If I had to be forced to do a type of group chat activity like this, I think I'm the type of person that would immediately tap out. That's too much for me.

Chapter 4: What are the pros and cons of family group chats?

443.686 - 445.97 Clare Stephens

Whereas if they've written me something, I can just read it.

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446.05 - 461.278 Emily Vernon

Which, can I say, is so fucking indulgent of us to not listen to other people's voice notes. Like, I'm sorry, we'll just record hours of podcasting a week that some of our friends listen to and then they send me a voice note and I'm like, ew.

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462.743 - 478.488 Clare Stephens

it's rude to send a voice note because I think it says stop what you're doing and listen to this. It is demanding. I've got friends who do it and I'm like, I just want to, like, are we having dinner tonight? And they answer me with a voice note and I'm like, well, now you've given me a job. You know why people do voice notes?

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478.508 - 479.79 Unknown

Why? Because you can't screenshot it.

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480.209 - 496.495 Emily Vernon

Oh, so they're going to tell me something juicy. And the ones, the voice notes that you do over text disappear once somebody's listened to them, which can become confusing if I wasn't concentrating the first time. But no, I've had people where they're telling me gossip and I'm like, oh, that's quite clever actually.

496.535 - 503.406 Clare Stephens

All right. Anyway, our sidebar is there. So I can't even imagine how many family group chats you're in. How many family group chats are you in?

503.426 - 530.592 Emily Vernon

Okay, so like Em got like both sides of the – so I've got my husband's family group chat absolutely dead, no vibe there. Sorry, guys. No vibe there. And then my family group chat, which is mostly mum sharing things with no context. Her favourite thing and what you say, Em, about – people going back and forth, whereas it's like this needs to be a private conversation.

530.972 - 552.322 Emily Vernon

Mum's favourite thing, and I've never got this off my chest, but it really, really upsets me. If you're trying to find her, say she's like, I've come to the park or I'll meet you at this place, her way of communicating where she is is not, say, sharing her location. That would be a good idea. She takes a photo of what she can see.

552.843 - 552.943

Yeah.

Chapter 5: How do different generations communicate in group chats?

620.033 - 641.021 Emily Vernon

And it actually goes off. And over the years, because it's existed for a while, there are a lot of people who are not part of the family. Who are in the family group. Roller exes. Yeah, no, like some members of the other side of the family or like just some of my mum's friends who are like, I'm interested in what your family's doing.

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641.041 - 645.267 Unknown

You know what boomers love to do? Add people to groups. Yes.

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646.327 - 653.759 Kate Langbrook

I'm Kate Langbrook and I host No Filter. Celeste Barber. Hi. Welcome to No Filter. It's nice to be here.

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653.899 - 665.237 Unknown

Today we're diving into the world of G Flip. And your voice has always been such a calming, warm energy. So that's why I tear up because you're like always growing up with you at Rehance.

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665.257 - 665.517

So thank you.

665.497 - 677.371 Kate Langbrook

Sally Hepworth, what an absolute jewel you are in the crown of artists. Oh, thank you. This has been lovely. Today, we're talking to Rosie O'Donnell.

677.391 - 680.074 Unknown

I just want to tell you, this is one of the best interviews I've ever had.

681.516 - 692.348 Kate Langbrook

If you love conversations that go deep and stories that stay with you, listen to No Filter. New episodes of No Filter drop every Monday, wherever you get your podcasts.

693.492 - 714.84 Clare Stephens

Okay, I'm going to represent the portion of the listeners who are not group chat people. Yeah. Because I have a family group chat with my family who live in England because that's where my family live. Hardly anything ever happens in there. Every now and again I'll be like, it'll be like, my brother ran a marathon, woot, and everyone goes, yay, and I'll be like, Matilda kicked a goal, yay, woot.

Chapter 6: What strategies do families use to stay connected?

1197.397 - 1216.458 Clare Stephens

Hank, put every egg in your kid's basket. You know what I mean? Like the people who really struggle when their kids move away or they've retired or whatever it is, is that that was everything and now it's not. Whereas if you've got lots of other things going on in your life, it's like my kids love me but I'm only going to see them three times a year because they live in Queensland.

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1216.578 - 1232.601 Emily Vernon

And maybe success as a parent is that your kids are so busy living their own lives and so independent that... that is a struggle to keep things going and keep a relationship going via messages and all of that.

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1232.942 - 1250.991 Clare Stephens

But I think it's also like what your experience was that affects that. Because when I look at my kids and I know I already get teary thinking about the fact my daughter's so close to you know, sort of independence but I just assume that they will live far away from me. It never even occurs to me that they would live around the corner and who knows what they'll decide to do.

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1251.051 - 1255.496 Clare Stephens

Maybe they will live around the corner but that would be weird for me and I would love it but it would be, you know what I mean?

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1255.576 - 1255.877 Emily Vernon

Yeah.

1255.897 - 1259.922 Clare Stephens

So much of this is all about your own cultural experience too. Anyway, please continue.

1259.942 - 1285.389 Emily Vernon

Exactly. But I just thought it was interesting that maybe a lot of people, and I'm thinking the same thing, that like you – You want to push kids and you want them to, like the idea of kids living overseas and all of that is incredible. But then I'm like, oh, you kind of have to sacrifice that proximity and impromptu family dinners or whatever it is.

1285.909 - 1298.582 Emily Vernon

And the group chats are the way that we maintain it in 2026, but I don't think it necessarily brings that feeling of closeness that people might be craving. So my point is sometimes you've got to see people in real life.

1298.95 - 1318.511 Clare Stephens

If you've got great ideas out loud of how to stay in touch with families and how to use group chats best, tell us because I think we all want to share them. Because it is holiday Monday for us, although not for all of you, I know, we thought we'd throw in some extra recos and a bit weird recos. Like not necessarily books, TV shows, but things we can't stop thinking about, etc.

Chapter 7: How do the hosts feel about voice notes and their effectiveness?

1425.321 - 1426.343 Unknown

Let's be honest.

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1426.694 - 1433.252 Clare Stephens

If you do, you've got to bring some in. I learned how to do that recently. I'll show you.

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1433.333 - 1441.175 Unknown

I have try a new cocktail. Come behind that one. That's a great one. Go out for Korean barbecue and go for a walk in the rain.

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1441.295 - 1450.112 Emily Vernon

Oh, my gosh. It's so romantic. I love those. What do you think? Your life is whimsical. I love it. And it's kind of like goals slash future slash excitement but without pressure.

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1450.132 - 1458.608 Clare Stephens

And I can be like really small, like say hi to my neighbour. The other thing that's funny is because I know what Claire Stevens is about to recommend. It's like couldn't be more different. Yeah.

1459.921 - 1479.921 Emily Vernon

About life stage. Actually, yes. So there is. Our records are very evident of who we are as a group. Which is the whole thing. So I saw this Instagram reel by a creator called Melissa Lawler and it was about micro holidays and I'm obsessed and can't stop thinking about my own. Here's what she said. It's so interesting.

1480.255 - 1505.537 Unknown

my top five micro holidays as a mom um number one in my opinion the greatest the goat is the car walk around so that is after you click your kids into their car seat you've got about five to seven seconds of walking around the back of the car till you get in the driver's side and let me tell you the air never smelt so sweet you can breathe it's quiet i put this in number one because you can have multiple of these a day now this is a really good shower self-explanatory

1505.517 - 1510.887 Unknown

I like to say the amount of time that your partner's taking in the toilet in the morning, double that. That's your shower time, okay?

1511.327 - 1525.833 Emily Vernon

Wow. It just, I saw this and I was like, oh my gosh, it's so true. And it's really reframed certain things. One thing for me that's a great micro holiday, doctor's appointment. Amazing. Turn up. And I'm like, I could be in the Maldives. Over here.

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