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Chapter 1: What apology does Clare have for the Socceroos?
Hello and welcome to Mamma Mia Out Loud. It's what women are actually talking about on Monday the 15th of June. I'm Holly Wainwright. I'm Claire Stephens. And I'm Amelia Lester. And here's what's made our agenda for today. Gwyneth Paltrow has made a lot of people extremely furious. We explain.
Have the Beckhams overplayed their hands this time?
Plus, is swimming in the ocean a thing of the past for many Australians now?
But first, look, in case you missed it, I was away last week and Claire Stephens upset a lot of people with some comments she made. They weren't political. They weren't outrageous. They were about sport.
I'm ashamed.
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Chapter 2: What controversial decisions has Gwyneth Paltrow made recently?
People in my life are annoyed at me. But most of all, more importantly, the out louders are annoyed at me.
Look, I go away for a week and sports correspondent Claire Stephens goes rogue. You were talking about the Knicks, the New York Knicks, who've just won the championships, the celebrity favourites, da-da-da-da-da, and you were talking about the phenomena, the pop culture phenomena of that. And Claire said that, and I have to say that I found it a little strange.
I love you, but I grew up in England where football is a religion and people get very excited about it. We live in Australia where sport, again, big part of the cultural identity. But you said that sporting excitement was an American thing.
Okay, firstly, you're only annoyed at me because I made fun of your coffee order, and now you bring them back.
There was also that.
Secondly, I didn't word myself perfectly. What I meant is that when I've been at American sporting events, there is an earnestness that doesn't exist elsewhere. For example, and I think I may specifically be thinking of the National Anthem. When Americans sing the national anthem at the beginning of a sporting match, they, like, cry. Claire, I think you're digging in.
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Chapter 3: How is Donald Trump's birthday linked to a peace agreement?
She's definitely digging deeper. Australians don't do that. Our love of sport is more fun and more lighthearted.
Okay, well, those of us who decided that what you said were that Australians don't care about sport, and I know that's not what you said, but when have we ever let truth get in the way of a good story?
No.
I found it confusing. So did the 18,000 people who packed out Melbourne's Federation Square and an overflow venue yesterday afternoon to watch the first Socceroos game of the World Cup. Are you aware of what the World Cup is?
I am. And my timing in hindsight was appalling.
Because Australia is about to get one of its contagious excitements because the Socceroos first game went, well, this is where we all remember basically that men play football too, because all the countries in the world are in America playing football.
I know I heard World Cup and I was like, oh, and then I saw men and I was like, oh.
Anyway, the Socceroos won and it wasn't actually expected. Turkey, they were playing in Turkey before. We're doing some shit talking and saying like, and people said this is a very average team.
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Chapter 4: Are Australians facing new risks when swimming in the ocean?
The fact that Socceroos won means that everybody is going to be going absolutely nuts for this. Claire, learn the names Nestori Irencunda and Conor Metcalf. They scored the goals yesterday. You're going to need to know those to join in the fun. Do you have any official apologies you want to make?
Where's your notes app? I know I actually do need to post a notes app apology, don't I? Everyone did go nuts yesterday, didn't they? They did. And I went over to Jessie's house and her husband had ā all the children were crying because he had yelled so loudly that they thought he was angry. We were sharing videos within our family group chat of random family members just absolutely losing it.
There were friends who were like, I don't know anything about football, but I'm at the pub with my child who's holding an Australian flag.
You know what Aussies love? We love a bandwagon.
Chapter 5: What happened during the Beckham family's recent public appearances?
Oh, we do.
It's going to be a soccer bandwagon from here till next Tuesday. The next Socceroos game, not that anybody cares, obviously, is at 5 a.m. Saturday morning. We're playing America. And, of course, there's State of Origin this Wednesday night. Nobody cares about that either.
Okay. I'm embarrassed. And as somebody who came from a rugby league family growing up, I hope my extended family weren't listening to that episode last week. I thought I'd change the topic to save myself. So in case you missed it, on Sunday evening, which is Monday morning here in Australia, President Donald Trump announced a peace agreement between the US and Iran.
The deal with the Islamic Republic of Iran is now complete. Congratulations to all, he wrote. I hereby fully authorise the toll-free opening of the Strait of Hormuz.
Chapter 6: How did the media react to Harper Beckham's visit to Brooklyn?
I think he's just using hereby to sound fancy.
Yeah, because then he said, and simultaneously herewith. authorise the immediate removal of the United States naval blockade.
He does imagine he's like a medieval court jester when he makes these pronouncements.
And it's like, mate, every other one of your bloody true social posts has typos in it. Like, it's not part of your brand. He then wrote, this great deal will bring peace and security to the whole region. Many presidents have tried to make peace with Iran and all have failed before me. The leaders of the region have, for the first time, found a president who can help them achieve real peace.
Now, in the lead up to the news, representatives of the Islamic Republic said that Trump had an unusual insistence that the deal would coincide with his 80th birthday.
Yeah, that's what I wondered if it was a present.
Yeah, he's like, oh, nothing like a deadline. For some reason, it was his 80th birthday. He's also celebrating his 80th by hosting a UFC event on the lawn of the White House. So those things.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of Gwyneth's recent advertising choices?
Who among us has not wished for that for our birthday? In response to the news, one congressman, Seth Moulton, criticised the economic and human toll of the war, saying... This is a terrible deal. It's basically a surrender document from Donald Trump to the Supreme Leader of Iran.
I mean, $100 billion of taxpayer money already put into this war, 14 Americans dead, and we get a deal that just reopens a strait that was already open before he started this stupid war. How is that a win? Amelia, there's a lot we don't know about this peace agreement, not in the least because there's so much political spin attached, which you won't believe, but Trump, he gets very into the spin.
What do we know about what this means?
Yeah, it's a good question. Well, Iran has confirmed a ceasefire agreement. It's confirmed specifically that there is an end to the military conflict on all fronts, including in Lebanon. Notice I said Iran agreed to that. Israel may or may not have agreed to the end of fighting in Lebanon. And for that matter, Hezbollah may or may not have agreed to the end of fighting in Lebanon.
But that is what the US and Iran agreed.
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Chapter 8: What are the current concerns regarding shark attacks in Australia?
And the second thing that we know is that there is, it does appear like the US blockade of the Strait has ended. Because that's, by the way, why the Strait wasn't open right now. It's because the US had blocked the Strait. So that's worth noting.
Does that mean, Amelia, I know, I don't know if you could answer this or not, is petrol about to get cheaper again?
No. I don't think so, because we don't yet. So that brings me to the things that we don't know. And one of the things we don't know is whether or not Iran is going to start charging a toll in the Strait of Hormuz, because one might say, why wouldn't they? Because they've realized now what leverage they have over people. So we don't actually know what's going to happen with that.
And we don't know what's happened with the nuclear program, which was his whole ostensible reason for starting the war.
Trump did say that it was a toll-free opening of the Strait.
Oh, well, Trump said. And if Trump says it, then... That's kind of like, yeah, Trump doesn't own the Strait of Hormuz, so it doesn't really matter what Trump says about it. But I do think it's right that he wanted it done for his birthday.
Yeah. A piece of theatre, you think? It's been three weeks of escalating Gwyneth crisis. Crises, in fact. And look, I was away last week when the really big one hit, but my DMs took a smashing. I am associated with Gwyneth Paltrow and I would now like to be removed from this narrative, please.
It is, I would, there needs to be a historical study about how Holly Wainwright became, because you really do, like when I see Gwyneth do something, I'm like, oh God, Holly.
And then I'm like, wait. And last week in particular, that was not good news for me. Let me explain some of these things because they're sort of silly to surprising to completely shocking, right? What sort of happened? Week one was arugula gate. Am I saying arugula?
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