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Marcus In The Morning "ON DEMAND"

Comedy

Episodes

Showing 1101-1170 of 1170
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Rules For Phone Calls

20 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you need to text someone to give them a heads up that you want to call them? Plus, all alcohol is bad alcohol, apparently.

Hugging is back... but do you even want one?

19 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Sandy love to hug but lots of people are glad to see hugging gone forever. Plus, what you did last night is making you look older than you ...

Your Job Will Kill You

18 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

That job is going to kill you if you are working more than 50 hours per week. Take that science to your boss today! Plus, being weighed at the airport...

Marcus' Hidden Snacks

17 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus' family hides snacks from him, Sandy hides snacks from herself. Plus, the robots are taking over and delivering pizza, and how smart is it stag...

26 Million In The Laundry

14 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You just learned you won $26 million... but you ruined the lottery tickets in the laundry. Yikes! Plus, free KFC will land you in jail, and having an ...

My Dog Hates You

13 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A shocking number of people let their pets decide who they date... but Marcus has a hack to get around a dog that hates you. Plus, why you should let ...

The Lazy Guys Guide To Exercise

12 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus just found out all he has to do is walk to get super sexy. Plus, these new rules about showering are not going to be good for humanity.

Crap...Get Me Out Of This Ticket

12 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The list of the top ways to get out of a speeding ticket doesn't include Sandy's epic story of how she successfully got out of one, but it really shou...

900 Popsicles FTW

07 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What this 4 year old did is every parents nightmare but we can't stop laughing. Plus, Furry Fridays goes huge, and stay at home mom deserve $$$

Leave Me Alone For Mother's Day

06 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What does Mom really want for Mother's Day? To be left alone. If you can't pull that off, at least get her a card. Plus, Sandy just put her 2 week not...

Washing My Sheets Once A Year

05 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I try to wash my sheets once a week, but some people wash them once a year? Or less!? Plus, are you excited to go back to your open concept office? Mo...

Waking Up In Vegas

04 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy is back from Vegas, but she didn't sleep, won and lost a ton of money, and bailed on her fitness goals. So, pretty good trip! Plus, Marcus is re...

Talks At 2 AM

30 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus has been very busy lately taking care of his elderly father, but it's given them a chance to really bond... thing is, does it have to be at 2 A...

Used Undies For The Win?

27 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Where do you draw the line when shopping second hand? Used jeans? Undies? Plus, thanks to COVID people are really just done with crowds.

Zillow Sexy

26 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Are you down to look at new homes instead of get it on? Plus, Sandy the law breaker, and follow these easy tips to make a man chase you.

15 Years Paid In Full

23 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Why can't this happen to us? Guy gets paid for a job he hasn't shown up to for 15 years. Plus, there are strange noises in our house every night... Ma...

Toilet Phone

22 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you take bathroom breaks when you are talking on the phone with someone? Happened to Sandy and she didn't care at all, but then again she does that...

Snobbier Than You

21 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is pissed California is snobby, but not the most snobby in the country. Plus, roomba or robber, and married couple lives together for the very ...

Pierced At 40

20 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy just got her ears pierced... at 40... at Clarie's! LOL Plus, what's the worst lie a married guy has ever told when he's been caught cheating? Ju...

Ketchup Black Market

19 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is trying to get in to the ketchup packet game for a good cause. Plus, Sandy gets emo over her first comedy performance in over a year, and lot...

"What, no call?"

16 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Just because I'm in a 50 mile radius of you, doesn't mean I have to call you. Plus, don't paint your bedroom this color if you plan on sleeping anytim...

He's Mobile And He's Dangerous

15 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus' father is making a speedy recovery after his fall and that's great for him...but Marcus is all hands on deck now and just a little nuts. Plus,...

Man Hating Dog From Hell

14 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This little pup is perfect for you if you hate men, and want to live with a gremlin. Plus, going back in to the office is going to be tough if you hav...

Going Cheap For Dental

13 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus has pro tips if you don't want to spend $3500 on dental work, and Sandy is having a password panic attack. Plus, here's a way to go to the stri...

Chicken Lessons

09 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus' family has chickens, and he was surprised that his daughter had to console him when they arrived the other day. Plus, please don't a woman she...

Dinosaurs Are Back!

08 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you want Jurassic Park to be real? Maybe if Jeff Goldblum is part of the package, but otherwise, I'm good. Plus, Sandy doesn't care about your "Clu...

Professional Internet Creeper

07 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy was stalking someone on the internet... ok no it was just "research", ok? Plus, I'm ready to quit this job if you force me to come back to the o...

Making Contact

06 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Experts say we will most likely make contact with Aliens soon. Soon? Sandy says we have been making contact for a long time. Oh! Plus, Sandy is sharin...

Dead Beat Daughter

05 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy feels like she uses her parents for food and nap space. Plus, 4/3/21 is huge in Vegas for people that can't remember dates.

April Fools Fail

02 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Didn't we cancel April Fools for 2021? Guess not, because someone got arrested because of her terrible joke. Plus, Easter eggs can make you very sick,...

Easter, But At 40 Years Old

01 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy still wants that Easter basket full of candy from her parents. So what that she's almost 40? Plus, the perfect number of friends if you want to ...

"Thursday" - Just Another Excuse For Lazy Guys

31 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This dating app can only be used on Thursdays. Genius, or as Sandy puts it: "horny for the weekend"? Plus, people are super excited about getting back...

Roller Blades On The Come Back

30 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy is single handedly bringing back roller blades. She's super embarrassed about it and in the market for an empty lot where she can be alone. Plus...

Showering vs Washing Your Hair

29 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The first time a man moves in with a woman, they learn that showering and washing your hair are two separate events... male mind blown! Plus, Sandy ne...

Say Hello To Your Soulmate

25 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy's friend just got introduced to her soulmate via an artist's rendition that cost her 20 bucks. Sandy needs to do this! Plus, how to fake your ow...

37 And Done

24 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have we peaked by age 37? Nah, I'm just getting started! Plus, our work from home set up is not the best for productivity but I'll be damned if I'm go...

Internet Rabbit Holes For 8 Hours

23 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Most people spend 8 minutes a day going down internet rabbit holes. Not us... we spend hours. Something wrong with us? Plus, what's your least favorit...

3 Times Before Noon?!?

22 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

At 74 years old, 3 times a day seems like too much! Plus, Sandy could go 24 hours without her devices, but 25? ...and Marcus' Dad loves boobs.

"I'd Still Eat It..."

19 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Who, in America, doesn't know how to carry a pizza!? Plus, emoji's in a work email? For Marcus it's necessary!

Drinking With Neighbors Is Like A 3rd Date

18 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You don't knock back drinks with new neighbors right away, that's just silly. That's third date status. Plus, Marcus is so happy he brought back his D...

Don't Make Me Go Back Out There!

16 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Nervous about being social again after pandemic? Some of us can't wait, others are loving being able to hide from strangers. Plus, how to get over you...

"It's Not That Big A Deal"

15 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus talked a big game leading up to spring forward... then Sunday actually arrived. Whoops! Plus, uncomfortable jokes at the vaccine site, and Sand...

Change Your Ex's Password

12 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Netflix is cracking down on password sharing. Maybe Sandy's ex will finally stop using her account! Plus, Marcus wants to teach little kids about inve...

Last Time Change Ever!?

11 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Are you ready for it be light out at 8PM...forever. It could happen. Plus, our pandemic outfits are getting worse 1 year in.

...but those are the FUN words!

09 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Scrabble wants to ban the words that are so much fun, and we are pissed! Plus, the best way to flirt with people if you don't know how to flirt... and...

No Doggie For You!

08 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It's International Women's Day and we are celebrating the boss lady in your life. Plus, Marcus broken hearted that it's not official... he will never,...

Tacky Proposal Or Nah?

05 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Is it OK to propose to your lady at someone else's wedding? Marcus the king of the wedding DJ's has thoughts! Plus, if your boss has these traits, he ...

God Of Chaos? Really?

04 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Why the heck do we have to name these asteroids scary things like God of Chaos??? That's a little aggressive. Plus, the "3x3" idea might help a stress...

Baller Hospital Room

03 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus has had a scary past few days and he's sharing the story, and the laughs and hope that came along with it. Plus, criminals should not be eating...

Drunk In Space

02 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Should we really allow drinking in outer space? Yikes. Plus, Sandy returns to normal life with a day of shopping, and Marcus finally has evidence that...

Just Performing Surgery, NBD

01 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Is this guy an idiot, or just really really good at his job? Plus, when we knew we had turn into our parents, and Sandy looks for compliments in all t...

Indoor Dining For The Win

26 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The world is opening up and Sandy was accidentally indoor dining yesterday and it was glorious. Plus, Marcus is being bested by his daughter in every ...

Bathroom Boundaries

25 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus credits his long marriage to he and his wife having separate bathrooms. He will never, ever, use the toilet right in front of his wife! Plus, S...

Only Fans Mommy

24 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

44 year old mom becomes Only Fans star with her naughty photos. It's all good until a dad "stumbles upon" her sexy pics and the community is enraged. ...

Well, This Is Uncomfortable...

23 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We've all been there... watching a TV show with our parents, and then boom, nudity on screen, and it gets real awkward. Plus, Marcus really need some ...

My Moral Compass Is Holding Me Back

22 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Sandy have decided to their are too good of people to be making that really easy money. You know, like 16K to have other people watch you s...

Beards Make The Best Lovers

18 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is very upset about this article that says beards, tattoos, and piercings make the best lovers. This is a personal attack! Plus, Sandy is shari...

An Artist's Rendition Of Your Soul Mate

17 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This is about the oddest way we have ever heard of trying to find your soul mate, but OK. Plus, our emojis show us how old we are, and being friends w...

Petty, Party Of One?

16 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Was this woman petty or justified in the snarky gift she gave her man for Valentine's Day? Plus, Sandy gets a very bad palm reading, and Marcus isn't ...

Valentine's Day Prepared?

11 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The married guys on the show are preparing for Valentine's Day... or are they? These "plans" sound like they are going to backfire, big time. Plus, Sa...

The Lawyer We All Needed

10 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Thank god for this cat lawyer on Zoom because we needed a pick me up this week. Plus, Marcus is still trying to be needed at his house, and raise your...

Not The Brightest Bulb...

09 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The saga of the Gorilla Glue lady has us feeling many different ways. We want to laugh, but also, wow is she actually a genius? Plus, the best UFO vid...

The Best Part Of The Big Game

08 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

America is back! ...all because of a streaker during a not that exciting Super Bowl. Plus, our kids are way smarter than us, and that's pretty scary.

"Wow Marcus You've Gained Weight"

05 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus had the absolute most savage comment said to him the other day, and he tried to laugh it off. Sandy would have DIED!

Marcus Is Related To Tom Hanks

04 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus just found out he's related to Tom Hanks. Woah really?! Plus, Sandy had a dream last night that almost made her miss work.

I'm Falling For (Over) That Amazon Box

03 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

3 years ago on this day Marcus took a gigantic and hilarious fall outside his house that was caught on video. Find out why that moment still haunts hi...

Used Couch? Good To Go!

03 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Is a used couch gross? Sandy thinks so, but Marcus just needs to save some money. Plus, don't make jokes at airports. Marcus has done it, and it didn'...

Dry January Disaster

01 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Well Sandy completed dry January, but the end of the month did not go as planned... at all. Plus, guys in groups of three or more are always up to som...

Why Is Christmas Still Happening?

29 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sandy is living a Christmas nightmare. It's almost February and her friend has a Christmas present for her?? Now Sandy has to find a present to give b...

Passing Gas

28 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Work from home has us feeling just a little too comfortable. Did I just fart on mic? Sorry. Plus, am I going to have to eat all these Super Bowl chick...

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