Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Jeff @ https://jeffdye.com/ Go see Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com yoooo. We hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving. we back at the podiums. Cusky and meez are joined by the bro jeff dye. Check him out on social media and on the road. Please enjoy. God Bless. This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at https://auraframes.com/. Use code MSSP at checkout to save! Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup The Mountain is calling, you should answer #DoTheDew #MTNDEW Shop now @ https://lets.shop/2141/dothedew Support the show & get Lucy Breakers for 20% off & free shipping at https://www.lucy.co promo code DRENCHED Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What are the benefits of standing podcasts?
And we're live. Jeff Dye, thank you for joining the podcast. Thanks for having me. Dude, I'm telling you, standing podcasts are the future. This is it. Enough of the sitting. Enough sitting and talking. I think it's just podcasters are getting lazy. I agree. Podcasts are more important than ever, dude. After this election. Nailed it.
Also, most of us are stand-up comics.
That's what I'm saying.
Standing. Yeah, dude.
Do you rock the stool at all on stage? Never. Me either, bro.
You know what that stool is? It's a tiny fucking table for my drink and set list. That's all that is.
It's not a seat.
Make it a table.
I agree. I think it is. Some people like the stool. Some people like the stool. I could never. I couldn't even. Some people love the stool. Some people love the stool. But I couldn't imagine sitting like that, you know? It also seems so arrogant when a comic sits down. Yeah. But it can play. It can play well.
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Chapter 2: How does humor play a role in political discussions?
You're like, I have something to say.
They can still see you.
I can be like, and then I'm fucking my wife, and they can see.
Also, I never know what to do with my other hands. I know that's a Will Ferrell thing. Like, what do I do with my hands? But have you noticed, like, Even your boy, it's like he's always on the thing. Like I do it behind my back that I hate. I hate that I do that. Like you're a magician. I hate that I do that. I'll sleep in this with myself like, I fucking suck. Why am I doing this?
I've been doing this long enough. I should know what to do with this hand.
Yeah. I do. For a while, I stopped doing stand-up for a while and I came back and I noticed I was aping the double hand. Oh, for sure. So then I used to have like a power like PC principle, just one hand right here. And I've gotten back to that, where one hand's by my side, and I just kind of move around with this hand.
Yeah, I hate the pocket. I did it recently. I think I did it on Sunday, and I go, what am I doing? I immediately took it out. Rogan holds the mic. Hate it. I think Rogan holds the mic the worst. Like a snow cone? Yeah. You go, what are we doing? The bottom, the very bottom. Yeah, like on the actual cable.
I'm scared to touch that part of the microphone.
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Chapter 3: What is the Log Cabin Republican movement?
Yeah, I know.
That's the connection. Yep, I choke up right around. I guess it's called the head of the microphone.
Oh, you do the head. The glands, yeah. That's the Eliza Schlesinger.
she's like a hip-hop artist you go what are you doing no i i just hold it right in the middle dude right in the grip and i just keep it right here and i talk the entire time yeah i've tried to do like mike in the mic stand kind of talk that's tough too i start fucking with the stand and then yeah it's like i do the two i've done the two hands most of my career i think gillis is ruining it for us because now everyone now everyone goes oh he's doing gillis he goes i'm just
holding the fucking mic i don't know what to do with this other hand two two hands when i'm like really dying if i feel like i'm dying on stage i'll throw that other hand on the mic just kind of like come on guys but yeah i um dude so you did it you did a bunch of uh you were with the campaign with trump what was it what was that like talking how well how how many people were there wait firstly congratulations i've never felt better
I've never felt better. True, man.
There's so many things I could talk about on this. I wasn't with Trump himself as far as those are like the actual presidential campaign, but there's all these other organizations that do things to campaign. Gotcha. You won't believe the group I was with. I'd be curious to learn about them. They're called Log Cabin Gay Republicans. Whoa. Did you know that was a thing?
You were getting gay Republicans fired up?
Oh, dude, it was the best. They knew what they were doing, too. You're a handsome, tall man.
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Chapter 4: How do comedians navigate political correctness?
Who ended slavery? Who chased other ships down? Abe, dude, our boy.
no the british for real like they went at to war aren't they the guys just like they were like all right we colonized the world now let's save it
Well, colonization, yeah, like, that's a tricky one, too. I can't believe we're getting into all this. It's the podium. It is the podium.
But, yeah, I swear to God, the British, like, Mexico stopped slavery, but they didn't, like, get ships and, like, chase slave ships around the fucking ocean. Like, Britain, like, persecuted it. But I also think it could have been, like, we're stopping slaves
you can't have them because they didn't want anyone gaining the fucking... There also might not be anything more diverse than slavery. What do you mean? Well, it's every land. It's every person. Oh, yeah.
It's a leverage of power.
Yeah.
Hardly racial at all. Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, it's crazy to be like it wasn't... I can't wait until the Repubs start saying leverage of power next year. Yeah, I know. I start a whole thing. And I'm going to know what you mean.
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Chapter 5: What are the challenges of flying with the modern airline system?
hey don't you dead name me right that's the rules but like you know Caitlyn Jenner like did some you know some crimes you know we talking about the car thing but like in court they could be like Mr. Jenner and be like that was Bruce baby that wasn't me don't dead name me I think once you go to court they're like alright time out
They can do that? Yeah, they go timeout and then they can just totally hit you with, you know, they can call you whatever you want. Timeout, I like that.
Can I do timeout? I'd love this.
You need an official position.
Damn it. Can I do challenge flags? Can we go to someone that can call timeout? Potentially. I like that. You could do whatever you want right now. We should adopt timeout and podiums. You're really going to change the world. I'm telling you, dude, this is pretty good stuff.
You changed my world. So how was, what was the experience? You did like a bunch of just like, so there's like Trump is like, it's almost like a mega church. Like Trump is the main pastor, but a lot of them have satellite churches. Yeah. So you were just ripping at all these things that you did.
I did comedy and just told them what I think about why they should vote for Donald Trump. Yeah. It was awesome.
And then at what point do they stuff dollar bills in your pants? Oh, yeah.
At the end, they're like, we're all doing poppers upstairs. I'm like, what the hell? But no, it is. It is like jalapeno poppers.
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Chapter 6: How do people react to being called out in public spaces?
Cut them in half. I think it is kind of... I don't know. I feel like... I just feel like, I don't know, you shouldn't really worry too much about what anyone else is doing.
It's comedy. We're just doing the job.
If you get paid for it, God bless you. This is awesome. Make your money. People are like, just fucking bullshit. But you're right, though, because everyone was wildly political, being like, fuck this, fuck that. The whole late night itself was just, every show was like, fucking...
Yeah, you're only allowed to be political if you're left.
Yeah.
And, like, then if you're a little bit right, you better be real, you know, you better be careful over there. And you're like, why? I'm just going to say what I think. We're comics. Who gives a shit? Yeah. I'm all about getting that bread anyway, dude. Someone's like, you're a painter. And it's like, bro, I'm getting that bread. Well, like, I'm not getting the bread from it.
Like, when I do Greg Gutfeld on Fox News, I get zero dollars. They pay me nothing.
They put me up in a hotel. Does it change the ticket sales, though? You're telling me the biggest show on late night.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's the biggest show on late night. It gets people to come to my show, yeah, for sure. So I guess there is a way to make money on that back end, for sure.
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Chapter 7: What are the differences between Disneyland and Disney World?
A lot of hunks out there on the baseball field. He's a good looking fella. So this girl goes, you're going to Boston? I'm playing this comedy club. She goes, you want to go to Fenway? I love Fenway. It's hard to get tickets. I've been before, but I'll take you up on that. She worked at William Morris.
and so she's like she's like i can left me tickets i go to the box office i do the whole thing when i sit in the seats they're they're good seats and then it says at the top zero dollars comped you know and then it said jd martinez i was like i wonder if that's like related yeah that's weird so then i dm jd martinez on instagram while we're sitting there i go hey dude thanks for the tickets this is rad you know i've been a fan of you for a
I don't remember what he said, but it was something nice and flattering about my comedy. And then he was like, hang out after the game. I'll come say what's up. He was texting you during the game? It was before. Oh, that's crazy.
He just got off and was like, fuck, let me check my Instagram.
I'm like an eight-year-old. I'll get to the game two hours early, have 75 beers. So then after the game, I'm like, this is pretty cool. And we're just hanging out with all these skanks. It's like me, my friend, Maddie Chimber, who's a comic, and then just a bunch of girls who are like banging the players or whatever. And they're trying to get everyone out of there. I'm like, I got a DM to stay.
So then you're at the front of the net. And it's funny. Some guy with a clipboard is like, who's fucking this guy? Why is he fucking this guy? It's more like that in NBA games.
After the NBA games, there's tons of whores. It's amazing. It's kind of a cool life, though. It'd be like a professional sports groupie and just... Dude. Kind of nice.
Yeah, you don't pay for anything or do anything.
You're just lined up like Ubers at the airport. Not a good shelf life, though. Yeah, yeah, true, true, true.
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Chapter 8: How do comedians handle personal experiences on stage?
Yeah, that is true.
I'm getting exquisite pipe.
Or trying to make us jealous of each other so we step up our commitment game.
Dude, who else do you think is on that list?
For this chick, it could be anybody. Yeah, true. She worked at William Morris, and she was like an 11. Like, she was so beautiful.
What's William Morris? What is it?
I think it's an agency. Oh, okay, I got you.
Oh, wow, yeah. For a second, I thought it was like a law firm.
I was like, I think it's an agency.
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