176. Church (with Rob Moriarty)

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Mike & Vittorio's Guide to Parenting 1h 20m 3 speakers 7 chapters transcribed 27 days ago
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Why are the hosts arguing about a broken cushion and who “molested” it?

Mike Rice 0:00
Are we on, by
Vittorio Angelone 0:00
the way?
Mike Rice 0:02
We're on. We're recording right now. No, no, we're not recording. Come along
Vittorio Angelone 0:06
goes. We can start it whenever. This is Okay, well, this is Mike's yet to grasp this, that like there's sort of the start of the podcast and then there's like It's
Mike Rice 0:14
a soft start.
Vittorio Angelone 0:14
I
Mike Rice 0:15
under Yeah. I understand that. This is full play. Of course I understand that. This is
Vittorio Angelone 0:19
fucked this cushion's fuck.
Mike Rice 0:21
Yeah.
Vittorio Angelone 0:22
We need to get a new We
Mike Rice 0:23
a new cushion. What have you been doing with that cushion? Um I'm sure um be my fault. Yeah, yeah, it's Mike's fault. Mike molested the cushion. You
Vittorio Angelone 0:33
basically did. From kneeling on. We go back to other episodes, you're basically molested. Oh yeah, because
Mike Rice 0:37
a cushion's of course not to be sat on is the new is the new thing I've been told.
Vittorio Angelone 0:41
This is for sitting on, this is to go behind you. Yeah, yeah.
Mike Rice 0:43
My mother, the absolute idiot her whole life, tell you to sit on cushions. No, it's just a fucking stupid woman. You don't sit on release. No one sits on cushions. How would you even get someone with a whoopee cushion then? How would you even That goes under
Vittorio Angelone 0:57
this? Huh? That goes under
Mike Rice 0:58
the doesn't go under that.
Rob Moriarty 1:00
People don't see whoopee cushions because then that defeats the purpose of a whoopee cushion.
Mike Rice 1:03
But then they m they think it's a normal cushion and then turns out to be whoopi. You got Whoopi Goldberg. It's Whoopi Goldberg, yeah. The cushion has dreadlocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And has a very
Vittorio Angelone 1:12
fake Jewish name. Fake Jewish name.
Mike Rice 1:14
Victory liberal opinions.
Vittorio Angelone 1:15
No, she changed her name to be more successful in show business. That's actually like that sounds like I'm being so anti Semitic. But there's not
Rob Moriarty 1:22
a lot of black Jews, is is there not?
Mike Rice 1:23
I think it was
Vittorio Angelone 1:24
black Israelite guys.
Mike Rice 1:25
Black is like eyes, yeah. I just saw in Uncut Gems in that movie and I th when Sandler when you know they're going through some portal Do you mean Kevin Garnett? Um no, I don't mean Kevin Garnett, I mean Adam Sandler in the movie, but he talks he's talking to Kevin Garnett and he starts telling Garnett about the black Jews. Mm 'cause I guess he's trying to c connect with K G. But he's just like there's loads of black Jews too, so me and you are you know, birds of a feather kind of thing.
Vittorio Angelone 1:53
I thought Garnett did well in that film. I
Mike Rice 1:55
thought he was fantastic. It was Garnett and Uncle James.
Vittorio Angelone 1:57
The tall black basketball player.
Mike Rice 1:59
He plays uh Oh yeah
Rob Moriarty 2:01
he plays
Mike Rice 2:01
Kevin Garnett. Yes. Um big
Rob Moriarty 2:03
stretch. It's been a while. It's been a while since I watched Uncle James. I
Mike Rice 2:08
I remember uh have you ever seen watched uh Jim and E Dlick videos, Martin Short? But uh and it's my favourite thing in th in the world, but like he has
Unknown 2:17
He has uh Jack Black on at one point and he's like So this this next movie's like you play the fat friend Big Stretch Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Rob Moriarty 2:26
Great range. Well they all played like Jack Black, The Rock. Yeah. All these fuckers just play themselves and But if you've
Mike Rice 2:32
got a note that you can I think that's the key to being a great comedy actor, have one note that you play unbelievably well. Yes, Will Farrell is another example, yeah. Will Farrell's great like Eddie Murphy is the same. Kevin Hart, I would argue, has one note that he isn't even that good and out. It's just kind of he's scared and small. Like just like and kind of panicking.
Vittorio Angelone 2:53
Incredulous.
Mike Rice 2:54
Incredulous,
Rob Moriarty 2:55
yes. You didn't watch the roast of Kevin Hart, did you? Oh yeah yeah it did. Were you there for that? That was nephew. I wasn't
Vittorio Angelone 3:05
at the show, but I saw lots of people running their roast jokes like in advance of it. Like I saw Um I was telling Mike about this at the uh comedy store. I was at uh just one of their their lineup show the day before the Netflix Festival started.
Rob Moriarty 3:20
Yeah.
Vittorio Angelone 3:20
And uh Dave Japelle dropped in and brought on Shane Gillis, Louis CK, Chris Rock and Kanye West.
Rob Moriarty 3:26
Wow. Yeah. That's insane. There's a gets more racist. One after another. Yeah. Very problematic.
Vittorio Angelone 3:34
It's funny, like it's like Gillis comes on and is like you call that cancelled Yeah nice. Yeah.
Rob Moriarty 3:39
Yeah. Well it's funny that like at Top Secret every time at the end of uh When they're pitching the um membership card or whatever. Yeah.

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