Ruhama Wolle loves weddings, but after being a bridesmaid three times in a little more than a year, she reached a breaking point. The financial and emotional burden was too much, and in an article for Glamour magazine, she publicly resigned from ever being a bridesmaid again. Now, Wolle has written “I Hope You Elope: A Bridesmaid Survival Guide,” with practical tips on how to navigate the ask with authenticity, honesty and boundaries. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Wolle tells host Anna Martin about the bridesmaid dynamics that made her call it quits. Plus, she gives advice and scripts for those looking to approach the role in a new way. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.