How Your Money Trauma Becomes Your Kid's
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What is conscious parenting and why does it matter for money habits?
Money at the end of the day should be only a tool for freedom. And if it becomes an enslavement and it's your boss, you're using money the wrong way. Dr. Shafali is
the psychologist behind the conscious parenting movement. It's the idea that you can't raise healthy kids without looking at your own crap first. Today she joins Money Rehab to teach us how to raise healthy kids both mentally and financially.
The more from scarcity you come, the more we want to make them an Olympian, we want to make them Mozart, we want to make them ballet dancer. The more whole you are, the less you're going to give your kid. It comes from our lack inside. The best way to talk about finances around your kid. I always try to tell parents that you want to find the yes. Instead of like no, we can say yes and come up with a plan and I'll help you.
Get it. And how to make sure your kids are resilient with money. In terms of money, what do you think is the greatest act of love you can give a child? That money doesn't And Nicole Lapton, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab.
Dr. Shafali, welcome to Money Rehab. Oh, I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to have you here because I do have to come clean that I bought only one parenting book while I was pregnant.
Mine.
It was yours. It was not like what to expect when you were expecting, you know, there was gonna be weird stuff that happened to my body, I could deal with it. But what I was really focused on was how do I raise my daughter without some of the childhood trauma that I went through. So I grew up in a really chaotic upbringing, and all I was scared about while I was pregnant. and thinking about how to educate myself was how do I not pass that down on to my daughter. Wow. So thank you. Well for helping. I hope it
helped. I hope it uh calmed you and I hope it gave you some direction. It's not easy to do conscious parenting, you know, and it never It never has a clear destination. It it doesn't have a goal, you know, like, oh now this means I'm a conscious parent. It's really the willingness to constantly show up and be courageous and humble and evolve and look in the mirror and ask yourself, is this more about me? Or is this about them? And th that question is the grounding principle of conscious parenting and conscious living in every moment, in every relationship, to ask, to dare to ask, is this what's coming up about me or about us? You know, and that's so hard to do because we want to blame the other person, you
know.
But you have to look in the
mirror. You have to look in the mirror. So much of that really comes from Your own story and your own self. So parental ego really resonated with me in that way. Where you have to clean up your side of the street in all
relationships. Right? So so the trauma piece, many people can understand, especially when they grow up in trauma. They'll they they know very clearly that this doesn't feel good and I don't want to pass it down. Okay. So we we can come to that awareness. But you know where people find it really hard? to decide to be conscious. The ones who don't have that much trauma. They're like, okay, I am conscious. They don't believe that there's more to be done in terms of look at your belief systems anyway. Who said your belief systems around money? sexuality, race, religion are right anyway. Just because you weren't traumatized doesn't mean you're still not so unconscious about what it means to get an A grade, what it means to look a certain way, what it means to be happy.
So that level of deconstruction and piercing examination, people don't want to do. The traumatized ones are the humble ones. They're like, I was traumatized, I don't want to pass it down. Can I look at myself? Oh. But the whole other range of the non-traumatized people who say they're not traumatized. They're like, we're good. Why should I look at anything? And why should I upend any belief systems? But conscious parenting is not just about trauma. It's about looking at all your crap.
And patterns.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is conscious parenting and why does it matter for money habits?
0:00–7:47
2
How does childhood scarcity shape the way parents give to their kids?
7:47–14:48
3
What strategies can parents use to talk about money without creating anxiety?
14:48–21:11
4
How can you teach children the difference between need and want?
21:11–27:58
5
What role does gender play in raising financially resilient sons and daughters?
27:58–36:15
6
How can families set healthy boundaries around wealth and entitlement?
36:15–43:08
7
What practical steps help kids develop a healthy relationship with money?
43:08–48:36
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
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