Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey weirdos, I'm Ash. And I'm Alina. And this is Morbid. Okay, did you guys catch that that actually was not Big Red? I mean, I do a pretty good impression if you ask me. But guys, Big Red is feeling not so, not big good. She's kind of feeling big bad, I would say. So I'm here to introduce this episode on the ones and twos all by myself. I actually feel probably the weirdest that I've ever felt.
I think I recorded one episode by myself, like way back in the laundry room days. and it's very weird to just stare at your computer and not another person so all you solo podcasters out there I really give you a lot of credit because how do you do it honey
Okay, before we get into today's case, which is going to be a little revisit, I believe this one is the medieval torture episode, which like, wow, we're really throwing it way back there, dolls. I think this might be when I asked if eagles had, what did I say, cubs, if eagles had cubs. So the good news is I'm more educated now.
They don't have cubs in case you're not as educated as me back then, or the same level of educated that I was apparently. Anyways, before we get into today's episode, we have two pieces of exciting news for you. Numero uno is if you're not on the social media, you don't know the big cool news.
We partnered with Hunt a Killer, who was one of our actually not one of our very first sponsor on this show. So that is like the coolest thing ever that like this is just such a full circle moment. We collabed with them and we've been working for the past, like, I don't even know how many months, but months and months and months of work has gone into this.
And we developed a game with them called the Salem Slicer. I mean, can you think of a more perfect name for a game? The Salem Slicer, like that has Elena Nash and Hunt a Killer written all over it. So that is our new game collab. It's available right now for pre-order at Walmart, which is really freaking cool. Never did I ever think I'd have a game in Walmart. It is a very, very fun game.
There's all these clues. You have to solve this murder. It's from the 1980s. It's obviously based in Salem. So basically the game starts with this young woman named Abigail who She finds this box of evidence, basically, in her father's attic.
And all of this evidence and, like, all these newspaper clippings and these kind of just, like, weird snapshots, I guess you could say, are in this box in her dad's attic. And they're all tied to the Salem slicer. And she's like, hold up. Is my own father, my... Flesh and blood, father, the Salem slicer, like that would change our lives because this case is way back in the 1980s.
So Abigail starts investigating and now it's your turn to start investigating because you need to solve the case of the Salem slicer. And if you think that that sounds like the bee's knees, if you think that's just the coolest thing in the world, which like you definitely should, then you need to head over to Walmart to preorder the game. Elena and I are so stoked about this. So that's that.
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Chapter 2: What exciting news do the hosts share before the case?
Go pre-order the Salem Slicer and wish my sissy big... Ew, I never call her my sissy. Why did I just say that? My sister. She's my sister. Wish her healing vibes. Wish her healing vibes. And so that she gets better soon. Because I don't really want to cut her stomach bug. And I also hate staying away from her. And most of you are probably sick of hearing me alone. So maybe you're not.
Maybe you love me. I love you. All right. Without further ado, let's get into the case.
Hey, weirdos. I'm the Iron Maiden.
And I'm the Breezin' Bull.
And this is Morbid. Medieval. Pass the mutton. Huzzah. Burn some heretics. Is this a competition? No, I won. Woo! We're back. And her sound's a little better. Yeah, do we sound crisper? Shout out to our bro Aiden. Yeah.
Does he listen?
I think he does. Okay. I'll make him listen.
Listen. For this one.
Yeah, my nephew Aiden. He's amazing. And he let us take his fancy pants microphone.
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of the medieval torture devices?
That website has all that is interesting.
Yeah, that actually does. But it was described as a human crockpot on this website.
That sounds delicious.
And potentially the most fucked up torture device in history.
Yeah. Because I use a crock pot often. For humans? But I don't normally put humans in it.
Yeah, it's just like a, like, celebratory.
Like, usually I throw some, like, chicken, some veggies in there. Right. But after this, maybe I'll give it a shot.
Yeah, I hope it's not with me, though, because you need a podcast host.
That's true.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts describe the brazen bull torture device?
Yeah, that's so cool.
Like, if you don't want people to be moist. Yeah, that really... That brought it somewhere. Yeah, I just meant sweaty. Well, that's what I mean. Yeah. See, you just brought it somewhere.
i meant sweaty too so the boots dust boots um spongy leather they're then tied up with their feet by a fire things get pretty serious pretty quick is what you're saying no they're just trying to make them relax steer some boots warm your feet up by a fire real quick yeah just like hang out yeah but then i'm gonna pour this boiling water onto your boots
That escalated quickly. So then that water seeps through the leather and dissolves the flesh.
And it said it dissolves the bone, too. Yeah, I don't think so. It's really hard to get rid of bone. And then in some cases, wood was placed inside the boot, like probably like on the top and the bottom.
And then they would pour oil inside to expand the wood and cut off the circulation to the foot.
What the fuck?
So they'd like smush it, is what I thought.
Yeah, that like cuts it all off. Yeah, so basically your feet are just real gnarly. Gross. From then on. And then in the second version... If you cut off circulation long enough, they'll die. So they'll just have these necrotic, nasty feet.
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Chapter 5: What are the gruesome details of the Blood Eagle torture method?
That's exactly the same. And a lot of these... Now, a lot of the ones I'm going to go over were done for such heinous crimes like homosexuality. Bye. Blasphemy. Bye. Witchcraft. Bye. Yeah. So... I'm going to have my head clued. No, I don't think anybody would do great. So, the first big one I'm going to go over... Is called The Blood Eagle. Oh, this one's fucked up. I know about this.
Great, like, hard, like, dark metal band name.
Chapter 6: What is the Strapido and how was it used in medieval torture?
Oh, God. So, it's probably the most nightmarish thing I've ever heard happening to a human being. Take yourself to your happy place. It was popular among Vikings. The Vikings are just fucked up. They're known as a very mellow bunch. So this is a departure. And it's believed by some scholars to be something done as an offering to the Norse god of war, Odin, before and after battles.
So like for good luck or something. Like, you know, some people... Like maybe just wear your lucky socks. Yeah, it's the same. Rub a rabbit's foot, call it a day. Pretty much the same. And according to 12th and 13th century scholars, it was most popular in Scandinavia because Vikings. And it was reserved when it wasn't being used just as like a pump up thing for battle.
Chapter 7: How did the Rack torture method operate?
This is just like a pregame. As a pregame for battle. Then it was used for literally the worst of the worst people. I don't think anybody's served this. No, I don't think so. So basically the blood eagle went a little something like this. No. The unfortunate captive would be kneeling or laying on their stomach. It's never been from there. Yeah, not a good position to be in.
No, just try to get up. Obviously they would be restrained in some way to prevent them from getting up or breaking free or trying to get the fuck up out of there because something bad's gonna happen. So first, the back was carved. Nope. Sometimes it would be carved in the shape of an eagle, but that was not necessary. But either way... Back carving.
The thing that was the most important was that they opened up your back in some way. That was the main purpose. When they did that, the victim's ribcage was then cut away from the spine with an axe and subsequently pulled out one by one away from the spine and out through the back. And the ribcage was then... Pulled up to slightly resemble wings.
Which, I have not seen a bird flying around with a ribcage shot out of its back. But I'm not in Scandinavia, so I don't know.
Scandinavian listeners, take a picture.
Scandinavian listeners, let us know. I'm spooked. Do you have crazy skeleton birds floating around? I don't know. I want pictures. I'm not going to guarantee it's not a thing.
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Chapter 8: What are the horrific aspects of Flaying as a form of torture?
Picture it didn't happen. So... You would really have to suspend reality or give a lot of artistic license for this to resemble an eagle, but we're going with it. So to make the wing look, you know, because this looked like a bird, obviously, but we could get it more authentic, right? So to take it to an entirely new level of suffering. Oh, no.
The victim's lungs were then pulled out one at a time and laid over the ribs and Because what are wings without fleshy airbags draped over them? I mean... I'm in a dark place. A dark place. Who hasn't seen a bird flying around with fleshy airbags attached to them? Who among us? Who? I don't know, bro. So obviously if the victim managed to somehow live through this torture, which who knows?
Stranger things have happened. They would just slowly suffocate to death after their lungs were pulled out through their back. On top of that, they would rub salt in the victim's wounds because... Throughout the whole time or just after at the end? Throughout the whole time. Because if you don't season as you go... Then the end result just doesn't turn out great.
Then you can't throw them in the crock pot.
Yeah, it's not any... I watch a lot of Food Network, and they are always saying, season that meat. Ew. So it's important. So what was this for? Like, what did you have to do? You're just a bad guy. Probably... It's a real bad guy. It has to be a real bad guy. Or gal. I don't know if they've done... I don't see any records of it happening to gals, but... Vikings, man. Major yikes.
So that's the blood eagle. Oh, man. Now let's take a little trip over to the Strapido. Strapido. Strapido. Also called Corda. Not sure why. Corda? Yeah. I like Strapido better. Yeah. It was used to torture heretics, witches, and anyone else that stepped out of the very fine line of living in medieval times. Yeah, like, what could you do? Basically, it's like, you had a bad day, and now you're...
In the Strapido. It was used a lot during the Spanish Inquisition. That was a fucked up time. It was a time. It was a moment. It was a day. There were three main ways in which this was administered. The first one was the victim's arms are tied behind their backs with a rope.
Also never a good position.
Yeah, no. And then the rope is attached to a pulley system, and the victim is lifted into the air with their arms inverted, which they then dislocate violently behind them. Now, the second method is basically the same as the first, except the victims would be stopped in midair several times to increase the pain and suffering.
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