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Morbid

Listener Tales 107: You've got probed!

26 Feb 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What unique format does this month's episode of Listener Tales take?

0.031 - 16.453 Ash Kelley

hey weirdos i'm ash and i'm elena and this right here is morbid so

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21.007 - 39.967 Alaina Urquhart

Listener Tales, baby. Brought to you by you, for you, from you, and all about you, honey. It's a little different this week or this month because this is just an audio version this month. I am terribly sorry. I know. We have the blizzard of the century and it fucked up some of our, you know, technology.

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40.227 - 41.53 Ash Kelley

Which is not fun.

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41.51 - 46.997 Alaina Urquhart

We're a little bit just scrambling here to get some stuff done. So we apologize.

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Chapter 2: How do the hosts address the absence of a regular member during this episode?

47.017 - 55.587 Alaina Urquhart

We'll be right back to our regularly scheduled video listener tales next month. In March. And we already have our costumes planned.

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55.627 - 56.569 Ash Kelley

They're also really good.

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56.609 - 63.417 Alaina Urquhart

Yeah. They're sitting right next to me right now. Me too. I'm pretty excited. So yeah. So this will just be an audio version.

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Chapter 3: What is the first listener tale about UFOs and how does it unfold?

63.397 - 67.083 Alaina Urquhart

So yeah, this is going to be like old school listener tales for one episode.

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67.104 - 85.314 Ash Kelley

And just like so everybody knows, we won't have Nicholas on during this one because what we usually do is we put the Nicholas version on YouTube and then like the without Nicholas goes out on just like regular audio and everywhere else. So since you're just listening, we will not have Nicholas much to our chagrin. And probably a lot of other people's. Yeah.

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85.934 - 90.599 Ash Kelley

But for the people who don't like Nicholas, this one goes out to you. This one goes out to you.

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90.619 - 109.857 Alaina Urquhart

And you're still valid. It's true. We're trying to please you all, hopefully. Yeah. And one thing I just wanted to point out was we were informed by this person that I'm about to talk to. It has come to our attention. It has come to our attention that one of our listener tales that we did about dreams was

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109.837 - 134.909 Alaina Urquhart

I think one of them may have used this person's actual dream as their story, unless they had the exact same situation, which I don't know. But either way, this person's name is Sarah James Middleton. You can find her on Instagram, the person who's like dream. That was possibly taken. Yes. She's on Instagram and her handle is under the Capricorn Sun.

Chapter 4: What unusual experiences did the listener encounter during their walk?

135.089 - 151.437 Alaina Urquhart

Iconic. So immediately I was like, gamesy game. She shares all this really cool like lucid dreaming content, but she shares it because she lucid dreams a lot. Okay. And I think she shares it as like kind of a catharsis and therapeutic way for her. So it felt...

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151.417 - 171.4 Alaina Urquhart

pretty violating that somebody else kind of took her dream and pretended it was theirs so that's not cool don't do that yeah don't do that um have your own dreams and if you're sending us dreams they should be yours yeah um because obviously and she she was so sweet about it but i wanted to make sure that she got recognized about this and that she was acknowledged that that was her dream

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171.38 - 175.005 Alaina Urquhart

And that you should follow her because she has like cool shit on her page.

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175.205 - 177.027 Ash Kelley

Alina told me about this last week and I followed her.

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177.087 - 177.368 Alaina Urquhart

Yeah.

177.388 - 179.23 Ash Kelley

Some of her stories are wild.

179.39 - 200.998 Alaina Urquhart

Really wild. And she also does like amazing costuming and fashion. And she's a really cool follow. I really highly suggest you find her. It's Sarah James under the Capricorn Sun on Instagram. And again, her stuff is really cool to follow. And we just want to acknowledge like don't take other people's like stuff and pretend it's yours. Yeah. That's...

Chapter 5: What kind of ghostly encounters does the second listener tale describe?

200.978 - 219.105 Alaina Urquhart

plagiarism i thought we all knew that but i guess we do have to say something sometimes you just need reminders especially dreams that that can feel very violating someone stealing like your literal dream that your brain came up with eat like a couple pieces of dark chocolate before bed and you're sure to have some weird dreams yeah you can write into us and then write into

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219.085 - 244.148 Alaina Urquhart

us because we want to hear them just don't take someone else's fun experience chocolate dreams right in there you go love you but yeah so it's listener tales time and i just wanted to say something really quick um fuck the u.s boys hockey team yeah the olympic hockey team uh you guys are assholes but congratulations to the women congratulations to the women you guys killed it though you fucking killed it let's go girls baby

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244.128 - 269.86 Alaina Urquhart

and love you go home um so the boys suck but yeah congrats to canada on silver congrats gold congrats on your silver medal to the men's u.s or men's u.s no canada olympic hockey team that part congrats on your silver you earned it you earned more Anyway, so less about men. I just had to say that because it's really been pissing me off. Yeah.

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269.92 - 276.069 Alaina Urquhart

But yeah, let's get into some listener tales because we're going to be talking about some UFOs. UFOs, if you will. Some UFOs.

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276.109 - 287.445 Ash Kelley

Do you guys remember? You got probed. You've been probed. You got probed. Remember when somebody did art of that? Oh, that art was awesome. That was good art. We should try to get that on some merch. We got to find that art again.

287.465 - 288.727 Alaina Urquhart

You do have to find that art.

288.787 - 289.949 Ash Kelley

It's on some computer somewhere.

Chapter 6: How does the story of the haunted meatpacking plant develop?

290.149 - 290.369 Alaina Urquhart

It is.

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290.77 - 307.005 Alaina Urquhart

But yeah, I think I heard UFOs for the first time on last podcast on the left. Yeah, that makes sense. Shout out for them. But yeah, this is going to be a fun one. I love talking about UFOs. I do too. It's very fun. Obama was just talking about aliens recently, in fact.

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307.025 - 319.596 Ash Kelley

He said that there are aliens. I mean, and he said that was the first thing he wanted to know when he got to the White House. And I have to wonder how many, like, first day presidents are like, okay, aliens, go. Oh, hell yeah. Like, that would be my first thing. I'd be like, what?

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319.576 - 322.061 Alaina Urquhart

Yes, no, okay, where are they?

322.121 - 324.766 Ash Kelley

Show me. Can you show me? Show me to me, Rachel.

Chapter 7: What chilling revelations occur regarding the ghostly figures in the stories?

324.786 - 330.036 Ash Kelley

Yeah, truly. All right, do you want to go first or would you like me to? I'll go first. Oh my God, okay.

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330.056 - 339.694 Alaina Urquhart

Let's go first. This one's called Listener Tale by My Very Rational Husband. Oh. Dear Elena and Ash, my wife, Jill, she says to please use her name.

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339.674 - 363.218 Alaina Urquhart

jill hello jill she listens to your podcast some might say obsessively iconic love jill let's go jill she listens and re-listens to your podcast so to say she is a fan might be an understatement she's been asking me to write down an encounter i had several years ago i had another weird thing happen today so i thought now that i have two stories i should take the time to write them down and share them with you hell yeah brother

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363.198 - 384.451 Alaina Urquhart

To my experiences, both of which happened in the same neighborhood in which we still live. In fact, both of these stories happened on the same street. We live in the Albuquerque metro area, and I will call this road Psy to protect my location and anonymity. That's always really hard to say. It's like a Nemo when she's like, na-na-na-na-me. Na-na-na-na-na-me.

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385.233 - 394.849 Alaina Urquhart

Psy Road is on the outside border of the neighborhood and has a nice walking path. A little about me. I'm an early bird. Me too now. Are you this of an early bird?

Chapter 8: What final thoughts do the hosts share about the experiences discussed?

395.17 - 401.622 Alaina Urquhart

I like to wake up every morning at 3 a.m. Nope. That's crazy, my brother. My brother in Christ.

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401.642 - 404.127 Ash Kelley

I don't like to do that. You like to do that?

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404.147 - 405.249 Alaina Urquhart

You are an early bird.

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405.61 - 408.335 Ash Kelley

Also, doll, that's not morning. That's the middle of the night.

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408.355 - 428.191 Alaina Urquhart

Doll, that's the night time. The sun is not up. Well, you know what? Jill is correct. Jill forever because Jill says 3 a.m. is the devil's hour. It is. But she sleeps safely through it. If I do see the devil, I'll send in another story. Thank you. Honestly, you're a real one for that. Thank you for that. Anyway, my sleeping schedule is seven days a week, 365 days a year.

428.452 - 444.18 Alaina Urquhart

I'm very dedicated and it is very rare that I deviate from it. I'd like to tell you that's very healthy. That's super healthy. That's really healthy. If you had an aura ring, maybe you do. It's probably like, holy shit, health alert. Good job. That's really good to go to bed at the same time and wake up around the same time. That's like really good. You're probably going to live a long time.

444.481 - 451.373 Alaina Urquhart

So during the warmer time of the year, I walk our dogs around the neighborhood between 4 and 5 a.m. in the morning. In the winter, we...

452.382 - 455.494 Ash Kelley

you lost me there, partner. You lost me there.

455.514 - 481.087 Alaina Urquhart

I literally said, I read it the way it was written. This is no shade to you. No, it's not. But it, oh, one of Ash's pictures. And it's honestly, I think it's hilarious. I don't mean for it to be. Because when somebody says like 7 p.m. at night or like a.m. in the morning, it's nothing you did wrong. You didn't do anything wrong. I just saw her face go like, and I had to point it out.

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