MBMBaM 821: Time Lost is Cool Lost

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My Brother, My Brother And Me 1h 2m 3 speakers 6 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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Unknown 0:00
The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's ripened into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like life. It's better, it's better with you.
Unknown 0:57
This is true.
Justin McElroy 1:09
Hello, everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middle-aged brother, Travis Big Dog, Wolf of Vroom Vroom, the heater, award-winning McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby brother, the 30 and 30 media luminary, Griffin McElroy. Welcome to, I mean, it's like an ongoing celebration, I would say, of America and West Virginia, especially American. And Trav Nation. We're all partying for the 250th. I'm so stoked to be here for the big, beautiful ladies, quarter millennial. Is it hard getting around, Griffin, like all the traffic and the people coming into town for it?
Griffin McElroy 1:50
Oh, dude, yes, it sucks. The congestion is like fucking for miles around the mall. Everybody trying to get there. Everyone is trying to get down there because everyone wants to know What's the big inventions this time around? You know what I mean? The latest inventions. Everyone wants to check because they know that's what like all kinds of shit was mostly at the Columbian Expedition in Chicago. We love that one. Devil in the White City. Fuck yeah. And we want to know what's the next telephone? What's the next Ferris wheel?
Justin McElroy 2:25
The next light bulb.
Griffin McElroy 2:26
The next alternating current.
Justin McElroy 2:28
Have you tried the latest? It's a coned waffle. Yeah, man, that shit. A waffle cone. Now everything's in cones. Dr. Brenner's candied floss. You know what I mean? It's all there.
Griffin McElroy 2:40
I tried to find a list online what the big inventions are this time. What are the inventions? And I have struggled. And I'm guessing they just want it to be a surprise. When you roll up and you're there, boots on the ground. You're boots on the ground and you're watching a Reba McEntire cover band perform for 14 people. They want the inventions to catch you because they know turnout's been low. They want the inventions to catch and surprise you and lift you up and make you celebrate America.
Justin McElroy 3:08
I do think it is it's tough Griffin that like you're one of the people on this show and one of the funniest things to ever happen is not you know 30 miles as the crow flies from your doorway and I just you just won't walk over there and see what's going on you know what I mean like if you would just like go there you could have already gone there and you'd be talking about it I'd even have to pay to get in I don't know if they're charging if this was happening in Huntington you guys would be so mad at me for not going you tell me
Griffin McElroy 3:38
what I would need to wear or otherwise do to signal to everyone that my presence at this extremely and tragically politicized event is as for a goof.
Justin McElroy 3:53
Griffin, if you started appearing in a month before. These are the same excuses you gave on January 6th when you welded it down there. See, I actually don't think that's as funny as what I was going to say.
Because this is...
Justin McElroy 4:07
There's a bit of acid on the tongue with that one, yes. I was going to say, Griffin, in a much more convivial fashion, one of the headlines has been how few people there are. So I do think that you could start to shift the narrative of like, there's not many people here. There is this one guy in a My Brother, My Brother Me t-shirt who seems to be in a lot of the shots.
Griffin McElroy 4:26
That would be you. That's my fear. My fear is that I will go and the paparazzo will be so... I've never had an issue with the paparazzo myself. But if I go and there's 14 people there, there's a real chance that I will be one of the more notorious individuals on site.

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