MBMBaM 832: A Clean Bill of Pants
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What is the opening premise and who announces Griffin’s retirement from High Rocks?
The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's ripened into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like life. It's better, it's better with you. Hello,
everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middle-aged brother, Travis Big Dog. Woof, woof, vroom, vroom, the heater, award-winning McElroy. I'm extreme athlete Griffin McElroy, and
I
am here to formally announce my retirement from the sport of high rocks. I'm fucking out, gang. All my brand deals with Ditas, cancel. So that's... High Rocks, if you don't know, that is a fitness competition that combines
eight
chems
of
running and eight functional workout stations.
It's
fitness racing, a sport
for
everybody. It's fitness racing, a sport I... Was it the forefront of, at the height of my game? They combine two things no one likes to do. That's amazing. And I can't do either one individually. I can't run eight cams. I don't even
know how
long that is. I can't do that.
Lay eight
cams down head to toe. Yeah. I can't do... Heavy rope. Or... super jump
or
double jump or tire flip i can't do that shit but when you mix them together i found my fucking niche the only issue is that there was an event and i um i i don't know overseas i didn't actually go to this one because i had others there was
a travel ban just say travel ban
travel ban i yelled out on a plane I bailed on a plane one
time. It
was positive, but loud.
Yeah, he was really
excited. He was watching Mission Impossible and he was really excited that Tom Cruise made it.
Well, I kept
looking out the window. I kept going, clouds! And they wouldn't let me back on the
plane. No,
no, no. I like Travis's joke. Do his. Okay, go ahead, Trav. He got really excited watching Mission Impossible when Tom Cruise survived and succeeded. He just got
so
excited. He had to cheer for Tom. Yay, Tom! I
like that better,
yeah. It was, you know, the big Beijing race and the big High Rocks race. And then there was an athlete who soiled herself during the race and she went on to win and had a really fun Instagram post about it. That's like not not pretty, but a win's a win. And it's like, that's awesome. And then people got super mad. They're like, you can't just poop all over the floor or whatever. We are in a race. It's not safe. And then High Rocks had to change the rules and institute an official rule saying that you can't shit your pants while you're doing. Whoa! I think that's bologna. I think that sucks. You're going to ask me to push my body to the limit, and then when my body pushes back, you say, this far, no further?
Do you want me to be an elite athlete, or do you not want me to be
an elite
athlete? Awesome. Have these sports commissioner rulemaking people never shit their pants before? Are they thinking that someone would shit their pants and that would give them a motivational boost to do better? No.
In
what way? If anything, overcoming that and winning
means
a movie made about it, not punitive rule changes. Exactly. Punitive. Now... This is a Hacksaw Ridge story of facing adversity and having courage and triumphing, and then we are going to punish? I don't think so. I'm sorry that there's Dookie on the floor where you're doing your athleticism. I realize
it's a biocontainment. You ever play
Mario Kart? That happens sometimes.
It happens sometimes. Donkey
Kong is a wild animal. He shits on the track
all the time. That's what the banana peels
are. That's what the banana peels are. It's his poop coming out. Everybody
knows that. This is
like the marijuana drug test, the THC drug test at the Olympics. You're telling me that that makes them better at sports?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the opening premise and who announces Griffin’s retirement from High Rocks?
0:00–7:33
2
How do the brothers debate the new “no‑poop‑in‑your‑pants” rule for High Rocks?
7:33–14:53
3
What are the arguments about using restaurant gift cards as a makeshift bank?
14:53–21:55
4
How does Justin describe the UniVolt 2 pizza oven and its specs?
21:55–31:11
5
What is the “crepe pizza” concept and why do the brothers love it?
31:11–39:42
6
What is the Lisa Barlow “Baby Gorgeous” Wendy’s promotion and how does it work?
39:42–45:35
7
What is the Andy Cohen torso‑shirt and why is it part of the new “Bravo Collection”?
45:35–53:28
8
How do the hosts wrap up the episode and promote merch, food‑bank donations, and upcoming shows?
53:28–59:21