Chapter 1: What are Vogue and Joanne's initial thoughts on the Beckham situation?
This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me, the bonus episode with me, Vogue Williams, and... It's Joanne McNally. Is it?
It is. I know. I know. It's morning time. I know what you're thinking. She needs to get her blast done.
No, no, no. We were just having a little conversation about the blephs and the bits and the bobs. In the mornings now, my eyes... Sorry, translation, blephs, what? Oh, blephs are like the skin above your eyelids kind of thing. And like a lot of people get bleph surgery. And a lot of people, when they don't need it, like Joanne, you do not need it. But Joanne lives in the Bronx. Oh, my God.
Oh my God. The Bronx is probably gentrified now as well.
It's Clapham. It's South West London. It's every time we record this podcast remotely, which is pretty much all the time now. Sorry, you know the whole Greenland thing? I'm trying to keep... Every day I wake up and there's something... I can't bear it. Do you know what I will say as well? We've so much information now. This has been going on since...
time began war and but we didn't have so much access to it because sometimes it can feel quite overwhelming you wake up you're like oh for fuck's sake I know what's going on now but you know that Trump was offering everyone in Greenland a hundred grand he is so wild but he's so serious about it and you're like yeah he's moving there's no lanes for him he's like I should buy Greenland but I will say and like again me and Val were very aware of staying in our lane
He's saying he thinks Russia's going to take it and apparently he's trying to protect. There is method to his... It's all fucking kicking off.
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Chapter 2: How do Vogue and Joanne discuss the impact of living away from home?
Anyway, look, let's focus on... It's like Venezuela.
He's really trying to help them. They just happen to have loads of oil. Well, I do think that... Isn't that lucky?
Isn't that lucky? I've spoken to a couple of Venezuelans and they say they're delighted that it's happened.
I think we're probably in the mix of the news agents. And if you would like any more political conversations from Joanne and I, we are actually creating a new podcast on the side, which is called Folk with Joanne, Do Politics.
The Ignorant Witches.
Yeah. Back to things we do know. So come here to me. Bleffs. Loads of people. Sorry, what I was... From Trump to Bleff.
What I was saying was that now when I wake up as a 42-year-old woman,
my eyelids it's are preparing me for death because I have to kind of wind them open now and there's a lot of well I have one heavy eye and it's always been like that but I I I'm first of all one thing because you just said it there and I keep saying it I'm going to stop referring to my age and you should too as a 40 year old woman oh now that I'm 40 now I'm not doing it anymore I'm not it hammers home too much I don't need to do it I'm just whatever she's already in denial she's only hit the chapter and she's already starting to deny it like a Judas excuse me not in denial
Anyway, I'm not in denial, but so brow lifts. So I was chatting with this plastic surgeon. I've actually, I've been lucky enough to sit beside two plastic surgeons in my life. And one of them was showing me pictures of lots of things, this American one. And he was absolutely brilliant. This other guy from Ireland, um,
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Chapter 3: What emotional struggles does the guest express about living in Dubai?
Because this is what happens, you see. And I sent her, and I was like, look, I'm not trying to, you've made your decisions, you're going to do what you're going to do. But I sent her, because I think now, because there's so much stunning before and afters that people don't see. We're not looking at the bad stuff.
There's lots of bad stuff. You have to be so careful.
But also, it's a very invasive procedure. It's a week's recovery. And it's incredibly painful. So I was sending her links to stuff on TikTok where it shows people like talking about the pain. It's not a throwaway thing, you know. It's not like going in and getting your car washed.
Yeah, you have to, you really have to think about it. But I saw that. Think about it for a minute. It's like when you go into a shop, you see a nice jacket, you say, I'm not spending that on the jacket. And you leave the shop and you're thinking about the jacket. Then you go to another shop and you're still thinking about the jacket. By the third shop, I'm going back to get the jacket.
If it's still in, yeah, if your new face is still in your basket the next morning, I guess is what we're saying. Yeah, exactly.
But did you see that thing Kendall Jenner did? And listen, if someone doesn't want to talk about getting plastic surgery or anything like that, that's totally fine. It took me ages to say that I got Botox because I didn't want to be labeled Botox girl. But Kendall Jenner was doing this podcast and she was like, no, I've never, ever had plastic surgery.
And if you see her nose before and after, it's like, but you have. Like when it's that obvious, you have.
See, I think wonder are they getting away with it because it's like a lift or so, you know, the way, the term plastic surgery, there's a lot you can do without plastic surgery as such. So they're probably using it as a kind of get out clause, you know.
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Chapter 4: How do Vogue and Joanne reflect on the concept of family and home?
Maybe plastic surgery is adding stuff and just surgery is when you take stuff away. But if you're adding stuff like a tit, then it's plastic surgery. Yeah.
I don't know. I don't know is the God's honest truth.
It's none of our business if she wants to lie and say that she's like... I don't know, Barney the dinosaur. She's well within her rights. It's none of my business. They're looking great for whatever they're doing. We've no evidence that it's a lie at all. Exactly. Well, it's photographic evidence in my opinion. But anyway, stop being bitchy, Vogue. Did you see the thing?
I nearly bought us one each and I think I will because I think I'll buy you a gift, especially now that you've said that this morning. Did you see the ice bath thing that people are putting their faces in and there's a little thing that you breathe through? I did, yeah.
I mean, I think...
80 quid, but you have to get them from America. And I was like, I nearly bought it. It was in the basket. And I said, what about import fees? So I'm going to wait until it comes over here.
Have you seen this, Jo? So, you know, so there's a kind of a trend in beauty. You put your mouth, it's like a snorkel, it's like snorkel equipment. Snorkeling in ice. To ice bath your face. Now it took me, my father, God rest his soul, etc.
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Chapter 5: What insights do they share about the pressures of societal expectations regarding beauty?
Took him, I remember evenings up in the bathroom sink. in the yellow mustard 80s bathroom with the brown carpet upstairs in the old house. Gorgeous. And I'd have goggles on and my father would be trying to teach me to keep my head under the water and it was the most traumatic.
It was like getting... I was actually like, I was getting waterboarded even though he wasn't actually putting my head under or anything. But it took me so long to learn how to put my head under the water that even watching... Her. Or sorry. You couldn't do that. Even watching them use that little tiny snorkel for the underlying under face ice bath brought me out in hives.
Oh, I think I'm going to get it. I think that ice is so good for your face. And sometimes I think those ice sticks that you put in the freezer stick to me.
But then I was using an ice stick once and then Sue Brophy, who does my hair and makeup in Ireland, messaged me and she's like, stop doing that, it's going to bring out your rosacea. One person tells you something, someone else tells you. But I do know that obviously ice is good for swelling. And puffiness. And puffiness, yes. Now I've not...
I have never once in my adult life seen you with an inch of puffiness in your face. Look at mine even today. I look like I'm having a cortisol meltdown.
I'll show you, I'll send you a picture tomorrow of the eye because my eye is very, one of my eyes is very puffy in the morning. Anyway, we shouldn't be, let's not talk about it anymore. We're all gorgeous the way we are and especially with all the extra bits.
They say, yeah, after fucking booking in for a facelift and buying an under snorkel equipment to ice our faces in the morning.
We're all... No, we are. We're all gorgeous how we are. We are. I've just had my Botox done.
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Chapter 6: What are the potential pitfalls of cosmetic procedures discussed in this episode?
We need to stop. We talk about tweakments too much. We have young listeners.
Yeah, this is not right. It's not right. 32, though, getting a...
It's crazy, isn't it?
I think that's unethical to be giving someone like that a facelift.
Yeah. Lift. But like, yeah, I know what you're saying, but I mean, the age, the age, what's it called when there's an age, sorry, the age limit on my stand-up show is 14 plus, I've realised the other day and I think that's quite unethical.
Oh, I don't, you know, I wouldn't want my 14-year-old going to see you, no offense.
Not to a 15-year-old boy. No, I'm taking. Yeah, do you know what I mean? So, but I mean, if the business is there, like, that's not me, so I think we should up the age on my show, but I mean, if the business is there, that doctor's not going to say... And also, I think it takes, I love when you hear the people going in looking for treatments and the doctor says, you don't need it.
I love hearing that.
Do you know Amber went to get her eyes done in that thing that you had done before? And your mom was like, I'm not doing it. You don't need it. No way. I actually think she does need it though. She is. She's wearing glass all the time. And I'm like, I don't really understand where that's coming from. He's like, you don't need it. And so he wouldn't do it for her. The fish is.
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Chapter 7: How do Vogue and Joanne advise on balancing personal desires with family ties?
Where you can't see properly and they laser your eyeballs.
Oh, laser eye surgery? Oh, sorry.
Oh, wow, really? That's a big wad of cash to be missing out on. And he said you don't need it. Yeah, he said, and I think she might need it.
But anyway, maybe he just didn't like her. God, that's crazy. I've never heard someone getting turned down for laser eye surgery.
oh my god this girl told me a story about sorry she only told me yesterday and that's why it reminds me we're talking about eyes so they were young this family she was friends with they were all quite young like I mean they were like 9, 10, 12 that kind of age this family and the boys were playing darts and the sister was told to hold the dart board because they hadn't hung it up so she's holding the dart board and then she came out from the side and said are you finished and he threw a dart in her eye yeah lost the eye yeah yeah I know
I know. Imagine the pain. Anything. Remember Otto stabbed me in the eye. I'll never forget that pain. I'll never forget how painful that was. I think you just faint.
I do remember when he did that to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Oh my God.
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Chapter 8: What conclusions do they draw about the importance of self-acceptance?
Oh, God, and it just came out. Yeah, and then it, like, pulls out the skin off. Oh, yeah, I know. I know.
I'm kidding.
Hi, Joanne and folk. Help. I'm coming to you both in a state of mild but constant panic and would love some extremely unqualified advice. Perfect. I moved to Dubai in 2024. Jesus Christ, does anyone live here anymore? Is everyone just living in Dubai? I'm a massive homebird. Do you ever see how those memes about moving to Dubai? They're so funny.
They're like the worst insult you can give someone is, you look like you'd enjoy Dubai, you know.
they're not our thoughts I'm just saying you've read them on the internet and they're funny we don't think that about you I'm a massive home bird and underestimated just how emotionally attached I am to my family I've really struggled at the start some of my friends moved out after me which helped but this year Dubai feels different
My friends now have boyfriends, so suddenly I'm feeling like a bit of a lonely loser. I miss my family constantly. I went home for Christmas and had the best time ever, like genuinely considered not getting back on the plane. My sister is my best friend, so that makes everything 10 times harder. I love my family to bits and I worry about them all the time.
There's just this low level anxiety humming away in my body about not being home. Yeah. Yeah. But...
surprisingly i actually get paid more to work in ireland so financially it makes zero sense emotionally i just think i want to be at home eating dinner with my family i miss home so much i know christmas is an elite time to be at home anyway but even outside of that home just feels like me on the other hand i'm terrified that if i go home now i'll regret not giving dubai one more proper year to travel because i know that when i move back to ireland this year or next year i will settle there for good and i won't ever make that move again
What would you do if you were me from an anxious in Dubai? P.S. Vogue. I also miss how accessible Bear by Vogue is at home. Well, then you should move home. That's it. You should move home because you just, you can't be using the stuff they have out there. I'm just saying.
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