What Every Woman Needs to Know About Money Before, During, and After Divorce

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Networth and Chill with Your Rich BFF 44 min 5 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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Michelle M. Smith 0:00
You'd be shocked how many women are still on allowances. Slowly, the financial imbalance presents itself. You don't have logons. You don't know where your stuff is. Really smart women are really ashamed that they got themselves into the situation. They feel like they're fighting their way out before it even starts. I spent $3,000 in legal fees in my divorce to keep a $75 microwave. Michelle, it's a lawsuit. We got to divide stuff. It doesn't feel fair, but it is what it is. I get it.
Vivian Tu 0:37
What's up, everyone? I'm your host, Vivian Too, a.k.a. Your Rich BFF and your favorite Wall Street girly. We've talked about weddings. We've talked about marriages. We've even talked about the little things like moving in together. But what happens when it all falls apart? Around 41% of first marriages end in divorce. And that's the lowest rate we've had in over 50 years. Of those divorces, infidelity and money are the top two reasons that people have given for splitting up. While the wedding is all about love and happiness, divorce quickly becomes all about that cash, the money. And when you're going through an already tough time with your divorce, there are tons of people who claim to have the best advice for you.
Vivian Tu 1:19
But it's not all good advice. That's why on Net Worth and Chill, I'm so thrilled to sit down with Michelle Smith today. Michelle is one of the nation's most sought after divorce financial specialists, specializing in helping high net worth women through the emotional and financial realities of separation. Not only is she helping rich women with their finances, she's also the co-author of Divorce and Your Finances. Michelle, welcome to Net Worth and Chill.
Michelle M. Smith 1:44
So good to be here. Thanks for having me.
Jonquilyn (JQ) Hill 1:50
If you sit in the sun, you may just get burned. But some people are willing to take that chance.
Unknown 1:56
There is this certain degree of nihilism of like, oh, well, the world is bad anyway.
Jonquilyn (JQ) Hill 2:02
Why wouldn't I just also get a tan? Tan maxing. That's this week on Explain It To Me. Find new episodes wherever you get your podcasts.
Vivian Tu 2:16
Okay, so I need to hear a little bit about the start of your career. What led you to this path? Because I feel like a lot of people don't wake up and say, hmm, when I grow up, I want to be a divorce financial specialist.
Michelle M. Smith 2:27
Absolutely not. So this profession chose me through three generations of my great-grandmother, my grandmother, my mom before me. I followed my mom to Wall Street. Whoa. As a result of her getting divorced from my stepfather, and it was the second time in our lives we were literally left with no money. She was working four jobs. There wasn't alimony, wasn't a thing in her first divorce. And then when I looked back, my great-grandmother, off the boat from Sicily, left an abusive marriage in the late 50s and made a living for herself when she kicked him out by throwing a tarp on the pool table and creatively saying, I'm going to make dresses for rich doctor's wives. My grandmother gave up complete financial autonomy and that ended up in a disaster.
Michelle M. Smith 3:11
So when I really look at my life, my mom entering Wall Street, I had no idea being a financial advisor was not just statistics. It was like actual counsel guidance and then divorce just kind of picked me as a specialty. Feels like a birthright for you. It is sort of like a – yeah. Yeah. Definitely a lineage.
Vivian Tu 3:32
So talk to me about what that actually means, a divorce financial specialist. I've actually never heard of that prior to meeting you. How do you come in to help navigate that process and what does a typical session look like?
Michelle M. Smith 3:45
So a divorce financial analyst is a financial advisor that has a real deep expertise in the process.
Unknown 3:53
Yeah.
Michelle M. Smith 3:53
There are a lot of good financial advisors that give bad divorce advice. You're in a box of a lawsuit with laws depending on your state. Like something that might be right in a typical financial plan may never happen in a divorce. So it's someone that knows the divorce process, obviously understands money, understands strategy. But the best thing I do is really help women prioritize and understand –

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