Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Hey, it's Nora Jones, and my podcast, Playing Along, is back with more of my favorite musicians. Check out my newest episode with Josh Groban. You related to the Phantom at that point.
Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.
That's so funny.
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Listen to Nora Jones is Playing Along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Daniel Alarcon, and this is my friend who's much more famous than I am. I wouldn't go that far, but I'm John Green, co-host of the podcast The Away End with my old friend Daniel.
On our podcast The Away End, we'll share with you the magic of international football, all leading up to the 2026 World Cup. Together, we'll find out why, of all the unimportant things, football, soccer, is the most important. Listen to The Away End with Daniel Alarcon and John Green on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcast presents Soccer Moms. So I'm Leanne. Yeah. This is my best friend Janet. Hey. And we have been joined at the hip since high school. A redacted amount of years later, we're still joined at the hip. Just a little bit bigger hips. This is a podcast, we're recording it as we tailgate our youth soccer games in the back of my Honda Odyssey.
With all the snacks and drinks. Why did you get hard seltzer instead of beer? Oh, they had a BOGO. Well, then you got it. Listen to Soccer Moms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We are back. Top of the week. And better than ever. I'm not quite sure if the dust has settled. No, it's still dust. My allergies are still kicking in. I got some clarity for you.
Don't worry. I got some clarity. How's everyone feeling? I have just, I've just been avoiding conversation with everybody. Listen, man, I woke up this morning.
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Chapter 2: What places do the hosts consider moving to?
People really live like this day to day. I could still like, you know, I'm in tune with what's going on. Like you said, the internet is everywhere. Like you still know what's going on in the world. It's just that I no longer reside in the midst of that energy. Like I don't live in such a society where everybody is focused on working and paying bills. It's like you caught in a cycle.
Go to work, pay bills. That's it. That's literally what people are doing in America right now. They're just going to work. If they are fortunate enough to have a job, going to work, paying bills, rinse and repeat. It's like nobody's really enjoying life and just like, you know what I mean? Like we all have to work. I'm not against that no matter where you live in the world.
But, like, that shouldn't be what people's everyday, every waking thought is. Like, is it just wake up and go to work and pay bills and just die at the end of that? I think I would do well in a place that was more family-centered, more community-based. I'm a really community-based person. If I could pick my, like I said, if I could pick my parents and my sister up and take them with me, I would.
As far as giving them somewhere to visit. Where would you move to? Um... An island. One of the islands. I'm not against Puerto Rico, but one of the islands. Turks? I would prefer an island that's not really that attached to the United States the way that Puerto Rico is. I mean, Puerto Rico, you're still like, you're not in like the sticks. Puerto Rico's
modern civilization oh no it's a city yeah yeah like no no for sure i just meant like as far as government wise it's still a part of the united states um but yeah definitely somewhere hot somewhere warm somewhere that isn't really tourist heavy i would prefer like rural like i could be a farm girl for sure government is your thing really then yeah you'd have to go full farm because
I'm not here to defend America, but let's not act like we are the only ones with a corrupt government in a first world or second world or third world country. Across the board, government is pretty shitty. Switzerland. I can do Switzerland too. Which I've looked into. Nice pale white man with blue eyes. No, I would have to take the husband with me. The husband got to be from Brooklyn.
I'm taking the husband with me. Nigga from Brooklyn moving to Switzerland. They ain't got no chopped cheese out here. You know you do a whole bunch of videos. I get my watches right from Switzerland. I go to Switzerland to get my Swiss watch. A nigga from the hood moving to Switzerland is definitely a fucking series that I want to watch. That's hilarious.
Put that nigga in Switzerland to see how he adapt. With your mother, your sister, and nephew, not moving far, but did you feel like a different dynamic with them when they left New York? Nah, I mean, they're not far. I have family down there, so I always visited the DMV area.
It was just all about, I remember my mom having a conversation with her one day, and the neighborhood I grew up in had changed so much. And a lot of the people that I grew up with, everybody, once we got older, we kind of moved out. People had started families.
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Chapter 3: How does the conversation shift to relationships and past experiences?
And if you know you want to move out, just let me know. And so she was like, yeah, hell yeah. So moved up, moved it out with my sister and my nephew. So, and they love it. My nephew loves it. He's golfing down there. What? Yeah. Like he said, it's a whole different. He could have done Trump links in the Bronx. He could have possibly, but you know, commuting in all of that.
It's just, it's just a different way of life when you live in these, these towns, man, as you know, it's, I've seen it firsthand with family and friends that pack up and leave the Bronx or leave Harlem, leave the five boroughs when they move out to different cities and different states or different countries. You can just see it.
It's just a whole different way of life that opens up to them that unfortunately you feel like, yo, if you would have stayed uptown, I don't know if you would have experienced this type of shit. I don't know if you ever would have gotten into this type of shit. You know what I mean? So it's a real thing. And I think that that's something that a lot of people...
are talking about a lot of conversations uh personally that i have with people more and more people i'm starting to see um entertain the idea of either moving out of uh new york city or moving out of the country yeah what's what's tough though and no way discouraging people that want to leave the united states but the structure of corporate and you know
certain dead-end jobs, it's tough to just pack up and leave.
It takes to go somewhere else.
It's a really expensive thing. It's a luxury to be able to pack up and move to another city or country. Be able to find a job somewhere, that's a major step, which I fully understand why people would be like, nah, fuck that, because I could end up dead broke on my dream island, and now I'm homeless.
And honestly, you'll probably still have a better way of life than being dead broke and homeless here. I just feel like you put me anywhere, I'm going to figure it out. I'm just that type of person. You put me anywhere. Anywhere on God's green earth, you'll double your worth. I just feel like that. I relate to it. I relate.
I just feel like, I'm like, I just think that once you have certain things in you, no matter where you are, you're going to be okay. Some people just work better within a system. They don't know how to operate outside of a system. I feel like it's easier for us.
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Chapter 4: What are the hosts' views on dating someone with a gang history?
So it's kind of like, girl, I'm just looking out for you. I ain't telling you what to do, but you know better. You know the type of guy he is. T-Boz gave her the best advice ever, but that could like, especially the way Bunz is. Who named him that, by the way, in the writing room? Tommy Bunz? We're going to name him Bunz. The way Bunz was. I could see him killing Nas over his girl going-
take my girl to Soho and shit on me. What I feel, go girls date, a little shopping, a little lunch. That was the original Basketball Wives meetup. It definitely was. They just set up a date with two girls that don't know each other. Like, girl, we're going to go get something to eat, go shopping. Just walking Soho. That's hilarious. What were we talking about before?
How did Belly get brought into this? Oh, Africa. Yo, Africa. Yo, Africa. So my Neo, my frat brother, Peter, who I pledged legally, like he was the next semester after me, he was from Nigeria, couldn't get his work visa. He stayed here for like maybe four or five years, but ended up having to leave because he couldn't get a proper work visa.
Mm-hmm.
And we were like trying to figure out anything, calling every noob. Like, yo, can we just get him a specific job just in the meantime so they didn't send him back to Africa? No pun intended.
Yeah.
At the end of that shit, he was like, nah, it's cool, man. My dad is the general of the Nigerian army. I'm royalty in Nigeria. I said, I've known you for seven years and you're just telling me now that you are royalty in Nigeria? Yeah. And he's like, yeah. I'll be fine. Peter has not been back to the United States. Why would he? Since 2012. Why would he? He was like, it's cool out here.
I had a little shindig. Yeah, I came, experienced it. I see what y'all be doing in America. I don't really jack it. I'm out of here. Going back to my land. I'm not going to work at JP Morgan with my NJCU degree. Yeah, nah. And make 45 grand a year. Nah. He's royalty. Yeah, I'm going. Hasn't been back. It's an experience. I think people come from other countries to experience America. Yeah.
But then they go back home and they're like, it's crazy over there. They fucking arguing about who they voting for, fighting, dumb shit. I guess we should have raised some questions because he was the first person I ever met in real life that knew karate. Not fake karate. He knew karate. Yeah. How'd you find out that he knew karate? I saw him whoop somebody's ass with karate.
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Chapter 5: How should men handle domestic violence situations?
If she broke your windows, you wouldn't call the police? No. What am I calling the cops for? I think sometimes you got to let women see the inside of like central booking. Just so they know, like, all right now, maybe your ass will use the peanut butter sandwich as a pillow for three days. I'll see you right back. I'll see your ass right back. Don't touch my fucking car.
I'll see you right back to that fucking peanut butter pillow. I mean, maybe I'd look into what a restraining order would look like. And then from there, maybe cops would have to get involved if you keep showing up to my house. Yeah.
No, and I'm not encouraging anyone to break my windows with no consequence, but I'm not calling the fucking... I'm going to have two officers in Jersey City or New York City where they should be doing way more important things come and take notes about my window. Yeah. You pay enough in taxes. What are they going to do? From what I hear... For what?
Chapter 6: What are the implications of calling the police in domestic disputes?
I'm going to call my insurance company. Yo... Somebody broke my windows. If they need a police report, I would say, hey, somebody, I parked my car here and someone broke the windows. Get my windows fixed and then move forward with what I would do there. It would take violence or fire for me to like... Fire? If you're going to burn my house down, yeah, I'm calling the cops.
A lot of men will call the cops on women to prevent themselves from... Facts. No, I get that. I'm saying I haven't been in a situation where I felt like I needed to call the cops because I was being attacked like that. Yeah. I've definitely had a woman hit me before, things that were not appropriate on her behalf, but not to the point where I would call the police.
Rob Markman Yeah, I'm grateful I never had that. I lived in a building, like I said, my neighbors, he used to be kicking his girlfriend ass.
every Thursday it was like clockwork that shit was like UFC but to me that's where I believe in like double standards unfortunately I guess yes if a man is beating up a woman the cops need to be called I've had a woman hit me nowhere in my head did I think I need to call the police and report this that is so crazy when I hear guys say that they had a girl hit them That is so foreign to me.
Chapter 7: How do personal experiences influence relationship dynamics?
I don't even think... Now, mentally, in her mind, she may have been close to hitting me, but... Oh, I know a bitch that really thought about knocking you upside your noggin a couple times. I think she's sitting right there. But it never happened, though. It's like, okay, but... I never, like... To me, that's just so crazy. Like, yo, you really got into a physical fight with your girl?
I mean, sometimes women... No, not... No, a physical fight would require two people. I have been hit by a woman. No, but that's what I'm saying. Physical. It got, like, y'all was arguing, and then the fight happened. You didn't put hands on her, but her putting hands on you, to me, is still crazy.
Like, how does it get to that level?
It's absolutely crazy, but to me, in that situation, I don't really know what, like, a cop would do. If your girl hits you, she getting arrested if you call the police. No, I'm not doing that. Yeah, she going, she getting in jail. You think, wait, you think bitches don't kill niggas? Yeah. Oh, okay. Let's not even say a girlfriend.
Chapter 8: What advice is given about balancing looks and personality in dating?
In hypothetical, we're talking right now. If a woman that I was just fucking ended up doing that, I'd be like, yo, get out of my house. And if she left, what am I going to call the cops for? Like, what are the police going to do in this situation? If she hits you, like, put hands on you? Yeah. I mean, it depends on what's hands, though. A snack.
Like, if she know how to throw the motherfuckers... Like, if she hits you one time and buckle you, like, your knee almost give out, you got to call the police on that bitch. No, I think... She know how to fight. No, my ego... I'm not calling the police. My ego would be double... If my knee buckled off...
off the jab and then i called the cops like that's a double blow to my like what if you argue with your girl she punched you in your shit but then she jumped back and get us to like bitch ass nigga but she buckle you and your shit leaking you taste blood in your mouth definitely can't call it you taste blood in your mouth all kind of shit and she's sitting there bouncing like ali right in front of you like bro she know how to fight that's that then that's the route where i go
You need Jesus. Yo, getting punched in your shit and your shit start ringing and it's a girl standing in front of you, bro, you got a decision to make. It's either I'm going to have to go against my morals and my integrity and put hands on a woman or I got to call the police on her. Because some girls can fight. Man, they got brothers. They grew up like that.
Maybe you should just leave the house. My house? I'm not leaving my fucking house. Yo, I'm going to get punched in my face and leave my house? Nah, we not doing all of that. I'm totally on the side of men protecting themselves because I've definitely seen situations, and we know this.
I'm talking about rocking shit.
It's an advocate of not placing hands on women. I've seen videos where I've seen a woman rocking some dude's shit, and I'm like... If I was him, I probably would have swung back. This is a fair fight. This is a fade. She know how to fight. I'm not abusing her. If I get popped in my nose and she doesn't have any follow-up combos... I'm sorry. He waiting for the follow-up.
The follow-up going to have police standing up. As soon as you wake up, you're going to hear walkie-talkie. You're like, yo, what happened? You're going to hear walkie-talkie and she's going to be in the back of the cop car like, bitch-ass nigga. I'm not waiting for no follow-up.
It take one time for me to taste my blood in my mouth and to see a girl really in her stance for me to know like, yo, she know how to fight. The follow-up put you to sleep. You can't wait for the follow-up. You crazy? No, my guard will be down because I would never, never respond. And I would just sit there and say, you need Jesus. And then I would scurry back to my room and lock the door.
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