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New Rory & MAL

Episode 406 | Guardian Angels

16 Sep 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the initial apologies and musical references?

0.031 - 12.105 Rory

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Hey, it's Nora Jones, and my podcast, Playing Along, is back with more of my favorite musicians. Check out my newest episode with Josh Groban.

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12.425 - 15.369 Damaris

You related to the Phantom at that point.

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15.429 - 26.241 Unknown

Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that. That's so funny. Share each day with me Each night, each morning

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26.761 - 33.362 Rory

Listen to Nora Jones is Playing Along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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35.857 - 44.805 Unknown

I'm Daniel Alarcon, and this is my friend who's much more famous than I am. I wouldn't go that far, but I'm John Green, co-host of the podcast The Away End with my old friend Daniel.

45.005 - 64.783 Damaris

On our podcast The Away End, we'll share with you the magic of international football, all leading up to the 2026 World Cup. Together, we'll find out why, of all the unimportant things, football, soccer, is the most important. Listen to The Away End with Daniel Alarcon and John Green on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

67.767 - 68.628 Rory

I'm Miles Turner.

68.648 - 69.569 Unknown

And I'm Brianna Stewart.

69.709 - 73.094 Rory

And our podcast, Game Recognize Game, has never been done before.

Chapter 2: What are the insights on Mal wanting to join Guardian Angels?

369.307 - 388.544 Rory

We graduated from LLC. We're a small corporation. Damaris, you can say girlfriend here. I promise you. Nobody's going to write you up. You're not going to have no meeting. Like you could just say, yo, yo me. It was me, yo me, and her girlfriend. Done. Like nobody's going to be like, I'll see you Tuesday morning. What are you talking about? Put up signs.

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388.684 - 390.707 Rory

You can only say significant other and partner in this office.

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390.727 - 405.252 Mal

Yeah. That's officially a law. I actually really like significant other. But we were out drinking. We split from Rory and we were out drinking. And Rory went to dinner with Sean. Nice little nice dinner. They had lined up shit. I walked up to Sean like, you want some? I'm like, you ain't asked me if I wanted some before you niggas ordered. Like, damn.

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405.472 - 412.324 Rory

Where y'all was at? We treated ourselves. Went to Tiger. Okay. That's your spot. You like that spot. I mean, it's a great spot. Good spot. I like it.

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412.304 - 413.848 Mal

Why didn't Marlene? What did he do?

414.108 - 414.73 Rory

This was Friday?

414.95 - 416.534 Mal

Yeah, this was Thursday when we left office.

416.554 - 427.439 Rory

We left from recording. Oh. You was here when some of the group came. Okay. Oh, that group. Yeah. Okay, yeah, no. Now, oh, that group is who I was at the strip club with. You sure you wanted me to call you? I'm cool.

427.479 - 427.579

Okay.

Chapter 3: How do voicemails influence the discussion on relationships?

457.09 - 461.917 Mal

I didn't even invite Ma to his own party when I threw y'all an after party. He just came out of respect.

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462.077 - 482.135 Rory

I didn't even invite him to his own after party. Oh, at the Ned? Yeah. That was cool, though. That was a nice vibe. Calm vibe in there. It wasn't nothing crazy. Damaris did the old promoter trick and threw your name. Like, yo, he's on the way. Now he'll be here. But yeah, that was... Oh damn, his flight got canceled. I just saw him on stage in New York and we're in New York.

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482.836 - 487.821 Mal

That was crazy. But yeah, if you guys don't know the San Gennaro Fest, which is kind of like an Italian based festival in Little Italy.

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487.841 - 496.148 Rory

Italian based is hilarious. Italian based is hilarious. That's like partner and significant other. What is DeMaris doing today? It's an Italian based festival.

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496.249 - 503.515 Mal

What? It's really nice. They have all types of like, you know, they have like the orange, the fried arancini. You mean like Italian culture? Yeah.

503.535 - 506.318 Rory

Okay. Like in Little Italy? In Little Italy? In New York? Yeah.

506.298 - 511.408 Mal

So the festival is going on. There's a Ferris wheel. Nobody gets on the Ferris wheel.

511.468 - 532.78 Rory

Well, kids do. I did some real old man shit before we recorded today. I went over to the festival and at noon on a Monday, I got chicken parm pasta and meatballs. I'm exhausted. You're an old Italian man. Who eats chicken parm at noon? Noon on a Monday. What's wrong with you? Not even a Saturday night.

532.8 - 547.33 Mal

Well, it's better for you because now your body has more time to digest it before you lay down. So it's better for you when you eat heavy food to walk around and digest it. Like there's this restaurant I want to go to. I think One Charles, it might be called. Super expensive, super hard to get a reservation.

Chapter 4: What are the implications of Young Thug's recent track?

567.257 - 585.095 Rory

Yeah. Yeah, nah, I'm cool. Eat a steak and then lay him right down crazy as fuck. Yeah, that's like... If I see somebody eat a steak and then just go hit the bed, I'm like, you all right? You want to talk about it? What you going through, man? What's up with you? We can just talk. You ain't got to kill yourself. You trying to die asleep of heartburn. What's up with you?

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585.175 - 603.694 Rory

Well, that's why I can never rock with the IG baddies because you got to take them... to those restaurants that serve like the big ass prime rib and then you just watch her down a 14 ounce steak. It's like, I'm not, we not having sex. You seen a girl finish a whole steak before? I don't think I've ever seen that. Like a whole steak? Damaris, you finish a whole steak in one side of the house?

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603.714 - 605.178 Mal

It depends on how big the steak is.

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605.358 - 607.248 Rory

Okay. All right, that's true, I guess.

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607.268 - 613.899 Mal

Like a small little New York strip, I'll bust it down for sure. You know what I'm saying? But I'm not eating a porterhouse.

613.919 - 617.043 Rory

You still be trying to be cute if you go on a date and not really eat, eat?

617.624 - 637.586 Mal

No, it's not that I try to be cute, but there's just certain things I don't eat on a date because I don't want to be tooting and booting, laying next to a nigga. There's certain shit I just don't like. I love Mexican food. I don't eat Mexican food on dates. Yo, me and Alex ate Mexican food and went to the club. We some disrespectful bitches.

638.167 - 659.475 Rory

Y'all was farting? Just crop dust in the section. Yeah, you farting. Take your farting ass in the house, man. Take your farting ass home, man. That's the only benefit of hookah lounges. At least it kills the smell. Oh, my God. The food people eat at hookah lounges. I know they're sitting in that leather fucking chair farting up a storm for sure. Tearing them lamb chops up.

660.586 - 686.34 Rory

mad butter over everything like nah you farting you're inhaling you're inhaling and eating dairy how was the strip what strip club y'all went to uh dream okay oh i thought y'all went to starlets no we we went to dream and then i deserted your group and they went to starlets okay yeah yeah i just don't got the energy yeah no i got home at 3 a.m can you imagine had i went to a second strip club what time i would have gotten home that's well yeah no so so how was dream

Chapter 5: What is the significance of the Guardian Angels in urban crime prevention?

3814.984 - 3815.826 Rory

We won't get flagged.

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3817.949 - 3823.542 Unknown

That's why I said they knew that wasn't Mariah.

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3823.562 - 3858.132 Mal

Listen to the beat. They was like, the A.I. sing better than Mariah. That's fucked up. Mm. Mm. and your pussy ain't nothing but basic just like all your chains you better check about me bitch this shit this whoever wrote this who wrote this like y'all don't listen to mariah at all

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3858.112 - 3858.993 Rory

That's AI.

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3859.353 - 3868.844 Mal

You wrote it. No one was asking if it was AI. When people make AI, people usually write the songs and then have the AI sing it. Like, people usually write shit and then have AI sing it.

3869.485 - 3871.707 Rory

But, I mean, some of the bars went over my head.

Chapter 6: How do the Guardian Angels recruit and train new members?

3872.028 - 3877.254 Rory

Did she, in fact, say that Young Thug has a pussy? And then said his pussy's also whack?

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3877.474 - 3879.436 Mal

She was dissing Glorilla.

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3879.456 - 3881.058 Rory

Oh, okay. I thought that was to Thug, too.

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3881.078 - 3881.799 Mal

No, that's not like to Glorilla.

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3882.88 - 3898.226 Rory

Because she started out talking about Thug, though. She started out talking about thug. I thought it was a thug. Rory be so clueless. Oh, I thought that was about. How did you think she was? He wears a dress. I thought like. No, man.

Chapter 7: What are the challenges faced by the Guardian Angels in today's society?

3898.326 - 3911.845 Rory

That was like some real, some real bars right there. She wasn't. She wasn't giving us like. Well, she weaved up because it started out dissing thug. I didn't know we were going right to Glorilla without any change of subject. All of that shit is looped in. Y'all both getting it. I'm shooting at both of y'all.

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3912.938 - 3926.528 Rory

But that's so whack, though, because, like, I just feel like, you know, rappers got to, they could use that as a crutch now. Oh, for sure. Like, if it's whack and they're like, oh, this shit trash. Man, that's AI. I ain't mean. Nah. Like, you could fall on the AI excuse.

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Chapter 8: How do personal experiences shape perceptions of the Guardian Angels?

3926.688 - 3947.547 Rory

Like, that's like the LOL. The AI is the new LOL. But I feel like people in tech can probably go in and find out if it's AI. But they need to make, for regular pedestrians like us, there needs to be an AI program that can tell us if this is AI. The way they check the diamonds with that little thingy, we need that. The average person should be able to take a file that they have on Twitter.

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3947.567 - 3966.432 Rory

No, Apple should tell us that. The same way y'all keep telling me to turn my headphones down. When I just, I'm listening to one song, like, yo, based on your last seven days, you should turn your volume down. This shit knocking. Shut up, nigga. Turn it. Actually, I want the iPods. Turn this bitch up. Yeah, I want the iPods to be louder. Like, I hate, the iPod's not even loud enough to me no more.

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3966.452 - 3978.169 Rory

AirPods, baby. The AirPods, I'm sorry. I said iPods, AirPods. You definitely getting old. Yeah, the AirPods, they not loud enough for me no more. Doesn't the new, like, Apple Watch or something tell you when you're about to have a heart attack? Did I read that somewhere correctly?

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3979.038 - 3996.27 Rory

The next one, which is like, that's great. That's a good way for technology to help. But like, imagine you just like, we chilling on the pod and I just get a notification. Like, you're going to have a heart attack in like three minutes. Oh, you got to take an aspirin. What is it, Bayer? You take two Bayers and relax?

3997.33 - 4000.636 Unknown

Yeah, so I need to get that. That's dope, though, if it's going to tell you that.

4000.676 - 4017.465 Rory

If you can do that, automatically call 911. Like, I don't want to look at my watch. Like, sometimes I've had an Apple Watch. Sometimes you get a notification, you look at it real quick, and you just keep doing what you're doing. Like, there needs to be, like, a loud horn if I'm about to have a heart attack. Oh, no, I'm sure there's some type of alert. Don't just give me a ding, ding. Like, no, no.

4017.53 - 4036.348 Rory

literally scream from Siri's voice. We come such a long way from the monitor that old people used to have when they used to push the button and call the police when they fell in their home. Life Alert. Yeah, Life Alert. Some of the greatest commercials of all time. Oh my God. I've fallen and I can't get up. Yeah, like, how do you... That was long.

4037.577 - 4040.802 Rory

You know, old people used to wear them shits like Jesus pieces.

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