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New Rory & MAL

Episode 490 | Movin' On Up

07 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 21.441 Unknown

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year.

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21.982 - 27.81 Rory

Within probably 10 days, I put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth.

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28.297 - 33.224 Unknown

Listen to Superhuman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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34.646 - 39.032 Damaris

My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until karma made her pay for it.

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39.192 - 41.675 Unknown

All right, Sophia, tell me about how we started this story.

41.836 - 55.975 Damaris

She moved in for two weeks, lasted five days, left a mess, and then pressed her ear against their bedroom door and burst in screaming. When kicked out to a hotel, she called her son-in-law's workplace, pretending his partner had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance. She...

55.955 - 57.76 Unknown

Faked a medical emergency?

57.78 - 66.505 Damaris

And spoiler, that was just the beginning. To find out how it ends, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

66.738 - 87.08 Unknown

On the Look Back At It podcast. 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me. I'm Sam Jay. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. 84 was a wild year. It was a wild year.

Chapter 2: What insights are shared about the Stefan Diggs trial?

575.832 - 597.57 Unknown

I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't think about those things, man, but I'm here to go back and forth with you about your thoughts. What did you feel about the number six lot? I think Anthony Fanzano, like, you know, back and forth stuff aside, like, I appreciate that he does music reviews because that's kind of a lost thing, I feel like, in hip-hop media now.

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597.61 - 617.856 Unknown

Like, nonsense has taken over. But, I mean... Do his reviews ever define, like, ironically, does it push the needle? Like, are we all stopping to really see if Anthony likes it? I'm going to go check it out type of thing. And I hope this doesn't come across as hate. I'm really just being unbiased in that.

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617.976 - 620.28 Mal

I'm sure he has an audience that does. Yeah.

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620.7 - 623.705 Unknown

I mean, he does a lot of numbers. And again, I like that he does real music.

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623.725 - 626.991 Mal

You might not be in the audience, but that doesn't mean the audience doesn't exist.

628.355 - 639.596 Unknown

Yeah. I'm not mad at it. I'm talking like Girl 6 right now. You seen Girl 6, the movie Spike Lee? No. No, I've never seen it. She was like a phone sex operator. Remember phone sex? You might be too young.

639.837 - 642.201 Mal

So you... We have FaceTime now.

642.422 - 650.045 Unknown

Right. But no, phone sex, like when you had to like call and your mother got the bill next month and saw that you called some... Yeah, some woman.

650.506 - 650.867 Mal

No.

Chapter 3: What are the key points from the Complex Hip Hop Media Power Rankings?

708.507 - 726.382 Unknown

Definitely put a lot of work. I didn't realize. Me and PJ was just talking. They had a hundred episodes. Well, more than a hundred now. They've been consistent. Yeah. Damn. I didn't think that. So I heard a hundred. I was like. Time is flying. Shit. I was like, okay. It's been networking. Shout out to Kiss and Fat Joe. Our 500 is coming up soon, by the way. Well, we've passed 500.

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726.502 - 732.527 Mal

We're past 500 if you count Patreon, but yeah, officially five, like our regular episodes.

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733.283 - 736.066 Unknown

The rest of us, though.

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736.086 - 736.387 Mal

The rest of us?

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Are you proud of us? I am proud of everyone. You're proud of us? Yes, for sure. They only gave us six months.

742.093 - 744.856 Mal

And it's our five-year anniversary coming up, too, y'all.

744.876 - 746.378 Unknown

That's what I said. They only gave us six months.

746.398 - 747.62 Mal

This month is our five-year anniversary.

747.64 - 760.775 Unknown

They only gave us six months. You know, every year they seem to be mad that, you know, Complex recognizes us and, you know, is ranking us on the list amongst the conversation of the people of Complex. Like, you know. Listen, man, it's all part of it, man.

Chapter 4: What are the implications of hiring a personal chef?

2804.696 - 2808.079 Unknown

You know how we do. Prayers all involved, even though we ain't praying.

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2809.499 - 2819.87 Mal

And what's black people pray? Why is it that black people prayers always, I'm praying for you. That's the, that's as far as the prayer go. They better hope God was listening when they said that. Cause that's the only, that's as far as the prayer go.

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2819.91 - 2826.377 Unknown

I don't know if that's a black people. I think that's just a Christian thing in general. Yeah, he ain't praying for you. Praying for you.

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2826.497 - 2832.443 Mal

No, you're not. Ma, when the last time you prayed for somebody? I pray every night. Last time you prayed for somebody?

2832.683 - 2833.084 Unknown

Last night.

2833.584 - 2834.205 Mal

Who you pray for?

2834.966 - 2835.927 Unknown

My friends, my family.

2836.928 - 2837.008

Hmm.

Chapter 5: How do personal relationships affect professional choices?

2837.427 - 2841.353 Mal

So you don't do like specifics? Like you don't say, damn, I hope Aunt Mary beat this cancer?

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2842.676 - 2861.607 Unknown

If it's a situation like that, yeah. Okay. I'm all just be doing shout outs in his head before bed. Yo, shout out to my mom and my sister. God, yo, shout out to my nephew. It was a good day. Thank you. You pray for us? Yeah. I just said friends and family. We friends? I spent more time with Rory in the last 10 years than I've spent with my entire family. That chucks out, yeah.

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2861.627 - 2873.419 Unknown

You think that me and Rory are not... You think I don't like Rory? He's not my friend. You can like somebody and not be your friend. You can like somebody and not be your friend. You cannot be around somebody in the last 12 years the way me and Rory have been around each other and not be friends.

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Chapter 6: What advice is given for creating a birthing playlist?

2873.439 - 2891.627 Unknown

On the road, every goddamn day. It's... Yeah. I see him more than I see my family, my blood. Are you kidding me? Like... Not saying I'm happy about it. Like, I'm not saying that either. Yeah, clear that up for sure. I love Rory. Oh, I knew where you were going with that. I'm not saying I'm happy that I spend more time with him than anybody else in my life.

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2892.108 - 2895.751 Unknown

But it's just like, you know, that's what it is. So absolutely. Like, that's my guy. That's my brother.

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2895.771 - 2897.993 Mal

So we're friends. Like, we're all friends. Peach, hold my hand.

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2898.614 - 2899.775 Unknown

Peach is sick. Now you're sick.

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Chapter 7: How do bathroom routines reflect personal habits?

2899.815 - 2911.866 Unknown

That's how Gobert got the NBA shutdown. It was that right there. That move right there. The entire NBA shutdown because Rudy Gobert did exactly what you and Peach just did.

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2911.964 - 2938.832 Unknown

entire NBA yeah entire NBA was shut down and the bubble he Rudy Gobert created the bubble season that was Rudy Gobert or end up being a chef and Stefan situation right there man you saw it on camera that's why you can't hire no you know cute chefs man he know when he hired that girl he saw that ass yeah come on now you ain't give a fuck about that girl's steak cute face nice little body

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2939.251 - 2960.447 Unknown

Fuck that steak and come upstairs. Put that shit in the crock pot and... Uh, low, eight hours. Yeah, and come over here in this motherfucking man cave and me tear that ass up. That's what I want niggas to be like, yo, that's my chef. I'll be like, yeah, all right, chef, huh? She was the most qualified? Chef. That's your chef? I know chefs. Chefs don't look like that. Don't do that.

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2960.467 - 2961.508 Unknown

You could be a five chef.

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2961.548 - 2962.248 Mal

I've seen, I've seen.

2962.268 - 2972.538 Unknown

Listen, it's the difference between a chef and a woman that can cook. All right? Okay. We not doing that. I know chefs. Well, Dre is in culinary school right now. Gordon Ramsay ain't got ass like that.

2973.419 - 2974.701 Mal

Dre is in culinary school.

2975.221 - 2980.506 Unknown

Who? Dre. Lord, listen. Dre is in, Dre about to become a chef?

2980.727 - 2982.108 Mal

Yeah, she's in culinary school.

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