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New Rory & MAL

Episode 500 | Rapplebee's

29 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 35.168 Unknown

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. You know, Steve Carell is a great singer. Can you tell you not to audition for The Office or something? I told him. Whoa. We were filming Anchorman. Clearly, I was the idiot. Thank God he didn't listen to me, right? Listen to Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy? Not quite. On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends, me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Dave Attell to David Letterman help make you funnier. On this episode, my guests Bob Odenkirk and Kids in the Hall's Bruce McCullough try and help the Kazoo Kid and Tazon Day be famous again.

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You know, people love alternate universe shows, right? Those are very big right now. What if there's an alternate universe show where you guys are incredibly popular?

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67.075 - 75.004 Mal

Well, and they could travel the land doing meet and greets and solving crimes.

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75.024 - 82.873 Damaris

They're constantly needed at malls. Either for signings or because that's where a murder took place.

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Humor me with Robert Smigel and friends from I heart media and big money players. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential.

105.87 - 124.538 Unknown

Either way, the podcast superhuman documented at all embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

125.581 - 142.924 Rory

Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where Sports Slice comes in. I'm Timbo, and every episode, we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the biggest moments in sports, and giving you the real story behind the headlines.

142.944 - 160.33 Rory

And we're going straight to the source, the athletes themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions in the moment, and the stuff nobody gets to hear. Listen to Sports Slice on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And for more, follow Timbo Slice Life 12 and the TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok.

Chapter 2: What insights do the hosts share about pride and ego?

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But yeah, I crash. I crash people's dates. Get me a free drink. Puff a little hookah. Go home. Okay. But like you should crash them on double. Like platonic double. That'd be cool. Platonic double date? Yeah. I've never heard of such a malarkey. You'd just be going with Damaris to crash the date. Like two, like, yeah, like you buy plus one as a plus one. But what if I...

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okay so what if what if we do that right but then like we on a date and like like your friends start feeling me though no ego right No, I'm just saying, paint a scenario. She's on a date with a guy she likes, but then you show up. No, no, no, I'm just saying. She can't even contain herself. It's platonic, right?

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So it's like, all right, we all chilling, vibing, but then it's like, her friend is there with homie. You giving rhythm. But like, you know what I'm saying? I'm talking my shit. I'm making everybody laugh. It's like, ah, ah. You know, what if she start having more conversations with me than her date? I'd be so livid if the funny guy crashed my date.

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I think I'm going out with a girl I like and then the funny guy shows up. That's what I'm saying.

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Chapter 3: What are the weekend plans mentioned by the hosts?

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Now she giggling. Me and her start having more conversation than her and her date. Now I got to distract homie. You see he getting tight.

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1135.414 - 1137.72 Rory

Yeah, I got to distract him from the fact that you, yeah.

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That's what I'm saying. Like that could just, you know, I don't know, man. I don't know if I want to do that. I mean, you're so irresistible. No, I'm not. See, Roy, don't do that. That's not. That's not. That's not. I like the confidence that you think. You don't even know these people, but you just know if you get there. I said, what if? I led with what if. I led with what if. That's all.

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I was just trying to. It's a homegirl you done mentioned before, too. Yeah. Mm hmm. Okay. I like that. Letting her date other people. That's crazy. All right. I mean, right here. You ain't even holding me down. That's what I'm saying. A baby didn't be doing bullshit out here, man. Nigga, you have not. Yo, this nigga got 10 siblings. I'm bisexual. I could date any of them.

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He has handed me not one. Handed me. Just handed me one. I want them. What? What? He just handed you? He got homeboys in jail, homeboys that play international basketball, homeboys that play in the NBA. International basketball is hilarious. He ain't here to be nobody, bro. Because I don't want to set you up for failure. I've never failed, baby.

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Not you, but I'm just saying like the relationship might fail because a lot of my homies ain't shit.

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they cool but don't they deserve someone like me if they ain't shit but you don't deserve an ain't shit nigga though i don't like he you know he be humping on you you fall in love and then you see this nigga humping on the next chick then you're gonna be here throwing attitude my way because i put you on with an ain't shit nigga ma you think that's what's gonna happen yes it's happened before i've done it plenty of times with my homegirls like yo yo homie i'm like what happened sir play with somebody else i'm like

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I'm like... What'd they do, Ma?

1230.866 - 1231.247 Mal

What'd they do?

Chapter 4: What recent records did Drake break and how did he achieve this?

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But no, I did congratulate him on obviously breaking the record and having 12 albums charted this week. It was just a quick conversation of congrats on everything, man. And which was the Michael Jackson record that he broke? Most solo artists with the most number one, is it Hot 100? Yeah, most Billboard hits. Oh, well, congrats. Yeah. That's crazy. Congrats to him.

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Should have broke it last year when he dropped What Did I Miss, but they did some funny shit. It debuted at number two, I think, What Did I Miss last year. Wrestling radios. But wasn't Taylor doing something that week or something? No, they did something because I think he released it on a Friday. He released it on the 4th of July. I don't know what day that was. What day that was last year.

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But radio did some funny shit saying when he, you know, debuted it. It was I don't know. It was some funny shit. So it debuted at number two last year.

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Chapter 5: What are the implications of Drake's chart success?

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But yeah, I think that's that's great for him. And that's a crazy, crazy fucking stat for an artist. But. I don't know. Maybe it's more the Internet's reaction that I just don't care. Like people dissecting which had collabs and like, is this a true number? Like, I don't I don't I don't care that much.

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Because so that people know they were saying because the majority of Drake's number ones have features. Either he's a feature or somebody else is a feature and he's the lead artist. And then Michaels are like, damn, they're. All of them, except for, I think, one or two. Maybe Paul McCartney would be the only one. Yeah, or just him. So they're saying that's not fair.

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I'm like, it doesn't fucking matter, people. Like, it doesn't matter. Well, if you want to look at it, I mean, he's still going to be put out. Drake comes from the generation where A-listers collaborate. Like, that's the era of music now. Jay-Z's first number one was Alicia Keys singing on the hook. Which is ridiculous to me. Beyonce has collab number one. We're in the era of collabing.

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Whereas Mike, those pop stars typically didn't do that. So, yeah, it matters. Yeah, I don't, you know, however you want to dissect and break it down, I don't really care. I think the fact that he has 12 albums at a chart this week to me is... is what I really look at. Like, that's fucking insane. He released 43 songs, 42 of them in the top Hot 100. Insane.

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Like, shit like that is what I'm looking at. Like, that's just, we've never seen that before, especially from an artist that is a rapper first. We obviously know Drake makes more than just rap music, but he's a rapper first. And we've never seen a rapper be able to do that, and we probably won't ever see that again. Yeah. I mean, again, happy for them. Congrats.

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I was a little more stoked for the Lizzo Chili's collab. I thought that was a cooler stat. They're collabing? She's now the face of Chili's. That's fire. Which they needed the rebrand because they were smoking shit back in the day with Chili's Baby Back Ribs. Then they did the Austin Powers collab. Chili's does good brand partnerships, but it's been a while. Lizzo's got to bring Chili's back.

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I think that's fire. Chili's had a great fried ice cream they used to do. I don't know if they still do it.

Chapter 6: How does the new partnership of Lizzo and Chili's impact the brand?

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That's big bag this fuck more. I ain't gonna lie. Come on, it's Chili's. That's what we here for. We here to eat healthy. I've never been to a Chili's. You've never been to Chili's? I've never been to a Chili's. How you never been to Chili's? I've just never been to one. You gotta go. Baby D, we gotta go to Chili's. Do we? Yeah. Peej is forcing me to go to fucking Applebee's for the Dom Pulio.

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I think you gotta get the Dom Pulio. If Chili's has Lizzo, Applebee's has to get Peach. Yeah. Like for sure. Peach has to be the face of Applebee's. You're not going to get the Don Julio? He's making me go with him. Him and Alex, they're making me go to get a Don Julio, which is an inflatable pool full of Don Julio margarita or something.

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Chapter 7: What are the key takeaways from the discussion about dating and communication?

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Going to the one across from Barclays, like that one's lit. Like there'd be hoes in there. Yeah, but they be young. They all from L.A. I know, because when I was a young hoe from L.A., that's where you was at. No, but Chili's food-wise, I think it's better than Applebee's. I think Lizzo's going to whip them back in shape, and that's going to be the spot now.

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Chili's definitely has better food than Applebee's. Really?

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2958.364 - 2958.664 Mal

For sure.

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I mean, Applebee's food sucks. He got mad at me for sending it back, but it sucks. It depends. You're just sending something back that they're just going to put back in a microwave. Yeah. They're not going to make it any better. But it'll be hot. That's fine. You're going to feed me some dog shit. Feed me hot dog shit. Don't feed me mid-lukewarm dog shit.

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Yeah, there's nothing worse than biting into something you think is hot and it's cold in the middle. Ooh. Yeah, that's the worst. Like every Hot Pocket ever. I be feeling like somebody ordered that at another table and they sent it back. Yeah. And then you order it right after that person. Oh, no, it's right there. He ain't even touch it.

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And they just send it to you like, no, I don't want that shit. Yeah, my food got to be hot. I don't know, man. We might need to do the Don Pulios for game one. NBA Finals at Applebee's? Across from the Barclays so we can really shit on them? NBA Finals at Applebee's? Yeah, get us a couple Don Pulios. Wow. That sounds like hell. Yeah, that sounds wild. You wouldn't watch the game at Applebee's?

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No. I wouldn't. Peej, I'm with you, man. That's my type of environment. For a game? It's going to be too packed. Yeah. It's going to be too packed at Applebee's. Too packed. I keep trying to get more. That's a sick spot, though, for everyone to pick. You got to get there early. Like, is it going to be packed? Yeah, it's packed every time. With the amount of bars, I'm trying to think.

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There's Applebee's on Jamaica Avenue and by Barclays Center. I don't know if there's other ones. There's so many bars that people would go to before they go to Applebee's in that area. Fam, I was in Toronto for one of the games when they was in the finals. And I was at a restaurant that it was, it was a nicer restaurant than Applebee's. And that shit was packed.

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I paid the bartender to hold a seat at the bar for me. Like that's how I packed. So Applebee's, New York, the Knicks in the finals, definitely going to be packed. Can you imagine if BBQs was still open in the Bronx and we were in the finals? Oh, hell no. I think that's why they closed BBQs in the Bronx.

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