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New Rory & MAL

Episode 26 | "Turmeric D**k"

14 Dec 2021

Transcription

Chapter 1: What major event do the hosts discuss at the beginning?

0.031 - 15.369 Nora Jones

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Hey, it's Nora Jones, and my podcast, Playing Along, is back with more of my favorite musicians. Check out my newest episode with Josh Groban. You related to the Phantom at that point.

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15.429 - 17.131 Unknown

Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that.

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17.191 - 33.413 Nora Jones

That's so funny. Share each day with me Each night, each morning Listen to Nora Jones is Playing Along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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34.76 - 47.996 Unknown

On the CINO Show podcast, each episode invites you into a raw, unfiltered conversations about recovery, resilience, and redemption. On a recent episode, I sit down with actor, cultural icon, Danny Trejo, to talk about addiction, transformation, and the power of second chances.

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48.317 - 69.521 Unknown

The entire season two is now available to binge, featuring powerful conversations with guests like Tiffany Addish, Johnny Knoxville, and more. I'm an alcoholic, and without this drug, I'm gonna die. Listen to the CINO Show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On paper, the three hosts of the Nick Dick and Paul show are geniuses.

70.022 - 87.688 Unknown

We can explain how AI works, data centers, but there are certain things that we don't necessarily understand. Better version of play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Yes. Which, by the way, wasn't Taylor Swift who said that for the first time. I actually, I thought it was. I got that wrong. But hey, no one's perfect. We're pretty close, though.

88.028 - 101.416 Unknown

Listen to the Nick Dick and Paul show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. No, no, no, no, no.

101.436 - 124.587 Mal

Yes, yes, yes. We are back. Carl doing his focus. We can keep it rolling. Go across the camera. This is live. Live studio audience. Yes, yes, yes. We got the execs in the control rooms. We have to watch our mouths. Fuck shit. Yeah. Bitch. This fucking tea is great. Who the fuck was that?

124.607 - 124.707

What?

Chapter 2: What are the hosts' opinions on Kanye and Drake's performance?

999.866 - 1025.567 Mal

We know that. So to not go down that road, to me looked like he was taking the step out. Like, all right, I'm just going to do CLB shit so no one can say that I had to match up against Kanye West. Even if I'm only doing half a set. Well, again, I'm just guessing. Maybe that's his newest work. He hasn't performed it. Maybe he felt like that was what people wanted. It's his latest album.

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1025.587 - 1040.952 Mal

He's never performed it live. Maybe he figured this is the perfect time. I know how many people are going to be watching this. I know how many people are going to be at this show. I wouldn't have went with those records, some of those records. But again, I'm not one of the biggest artists in the world. But even like...

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1043.53 - 1063.793 Mal

Even when he did Tyler's festival and Drake has done pop-ups at other festivals, he's done his own festival for a very long time. Of course, those are longer sets, but he still adds, like, he's, Drake is very aware of what people want to hear at shows. Like, if we're going to the Scorpion tour, I'm going to expect to hear a lot of Scorpion stuff. Right.

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1063.974 - 1078.896 Mal

But he always mixes in a lot of other shit. Of course. When he just does festivals, he'll put a new record in, but a lot of that will be the joints that we want to hear at a show. Especially up next to Kanye West, who's not performing any records from Donda. Maybe one. And is giving me all his classic shit.

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1079.377 - 1079.477

Yeah.

1079.812 - 1108.922 Mal

Drake did, he came out to 24, did Once in Needs, No Friends in the Industry, What's Next, Life is Good, Laugh Now, Cry Later, I Am Why 2, Girls Want Girls, In the Bible, Way Too Sexy, Knife Talk, God's Plan. It's a mediocre set to me, though. Yeah, I definitely could have did it, but I'm way too sexy. I just don't, that record ain't for me. I see what it does, though. I've been in the club.

1109.043 - 1130.168 Mal

I know people love that record. I see what it does, but... Not for me. No friends in the industry is just hilarious. I just think, like, after squashing the beef and you coming out and, like, rapping those bars that were directed at Kanye, that's just hilarious to me. But I want to know, like, where Kanye, or maybe Drake was not aware of his set list.

1130.529 - 1137.016 Mal

Maybe they gave Drake the okey-doke because Kanye said, I'm not performing secular music anymore. Like, I can't. I'll do Jesus Walks and that's about it.

1137.877 - 1138.017

Mm-hmm.

Chapter 3: What do the hosts think about love languages and celebrity culture?

3986.986 - 4007.734 Mal

temper tantrum in the middle of Toys R Us because they think they deserve every toy in the entire store, yet have not contributed anything to the family except for just their existence. No, women's love languages are whatever love language is their favorite celebrity that they're following. Whatever Dre is doing that day. Yeah. Dre is on the beach. He's by the pool. Dre is at home.

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4007.794 - 4026.642 Mal

These pictures were taken three months ago. But I just want to know where the audacity comes of you just think, I just show up and I deserve... My love language can now be a flight. Yeah. But Rory, just to do a callback to two episodes ago, you said that, quote, I like flights, so I take bitches on flights.

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4026.722 - 4027.984 Unknown

This is what you said.

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Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about the expectations of relationships?

4028.024 - 4030.328 Mal

Did he say that, D? He did say that.

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4030.348 - 4031.31 Unknown

He did say that, didn't he? What?

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4031.33 - 4054.249 Mal

It's just a flight. It's no big deal. I like trips. Huh? I like trips was the actually direct quote. Flying them to Jersey City is not a love language. That's number one. Hey, putting somebody on a flight to EWR. Straight to EWR. Economy. Ooh, that's a love language right there. That's a nasty flight. Jesus Christ, that's a nasty flight. Have you ever seen the Meadowlands, Ma?

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Chapter 5: What are the implications of dating younger partners?

4054.39 - 4075.351 Mal

As soon as you land, the penitentiary is right there. It's right across the street. You want to put your toes in the swamp? Bro, putting niggas in the penitentiary right across from an airport is so disrespectful. I mean, it's a lot of airports. Like, them niggas are sitting there just watching flights take off everyday. They watch a metaphor go over their head every day.

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4075.371 - 4094.159 Mal

Bro, that's so fucked up, man. I think about that every time I got to fly to Newark. I'm like, this is so fucked up. Which, LaGuardia, the end of the runway is Rikers. Really? Oh, you're right. You're absolutely right. Rikers is right there. Yeah. That's on purpose. That's on purpose. Whoever's building these prisons, they're doing that on purpose.

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4094.179 - 4113.243 Mal

They like, we want y'all niggas to see people being free. Yeah. Because nothing says free like flights taking off and landing. And then the more audacity that I have to see the word spirit fly over me. You think my spirits is high right now? Because they're not. And it's yellow. I can't miss it. Oh, my God, man. That's funny as fuck.

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4114.685 - 4122.054 Mal

Listen, to your point of me saying I put chicks on flights, they are not demanding or asking me and saying that is their love language.

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Chapter 6: How do the hosts critique the new Sex and the City reboot?

4122.174 - 4140.377 Mal

It's women that just come out as if. Everyone deserves the highest thing ever when you're not providing much at all. Please tell me, when you post these, please tell me what you're good at. If I'm booking a flight because your love language is that and I'm doing that, what have you ever offered? Demaris, let me ask you something since you're the only woman in the room.

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4140.878 - 4143.622 Unknown

I'm so tired. I'm hiring another woman. I don't hire another woman. Listen, no, no.

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4143.863 - 4160.627 Mal

Sometimes we just fall into these, I just need a woman's. If a guy was to book a vacation, right? Say y'all never... This is your first vacation together. Y'all hooked up a couple of times. You know what I mean? Like nothing real too deep. But he like, yo, want to take a trip for the weekend? Let's go somewhere.

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4160.947 - 4167.814 Mal

If you go on this trip with this guy, are you expecting him to use protection on vacation? Like when you have sex?

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4167.834 - 4169.256 Unknown

I'm not answering this. Why?

4169.276 - 4172.079 Mal

Because you're the only one who use condoms. We've been through this a million times.

4172.099 - 4172.419 Unknown

Yeah, I'm not.

4172.439 - 4182.186 Mal

No, I'm just saying. No, but if I take a woman on a vacation, condoms aren't in my bag. She can't get pregnant in international waters? No, this is Rhode Island. You ain't know that? Rhode Island.

4184.29 - 4187.056 Unknown

For a second I thought it said Rhode Island.

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