Brandon Returns to Confront Do Boy! MONDAY SHOW OVER???
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What jokes and identity talk kick off the episode?
My mama's half Mexican.
Oh, no, boy, you won't look fat today because I'm gonna...
That's a real black guy.
I'm actually red. I'm more red than black. I'm darker than this nigga. He's Native
American Cherokee.
I'm really not. He's
got
the black
guy thing with the weird patch of gray hair so you can, like, really see how black he is. It's like a palate cleanser.
What the hell? I just got
cut today.
I just cut mine off. I didn't know. Your facial hair is
gay.
He
don't got
this,
like, Samuel L. Jackson
in
him. That's when you really know your blood is like the blood of slaves. You look like a train conductor.
Listen. All aboard, face ass.
Caller
Express.
Listen. Listen. I bought a toothbrush. Why? That bathroom was smelling like coochie. You did plug talk today? No. Damn, that don't stink.
Some of the other employees be doing plug talk in that bathroom. These degenerates.
Damn.
I heard somebody has a girlfriend. I heard somebody
has a girlfriend.
Yeah, I got a girlfriend.
Not you.
You're going to keep a girlfriend. Can you just
wait until we got on camera and start being a busybody?
I heard
someone has a girlfriend.
No, I was talking about out there, but Moose was like, save it for the camera. Are we on right now? I was like, I don't think Josh wants us talking about his personal business. He was bleeding out there. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I did not bleed, Josh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. See, now you see? You exaggerated. No, no, you were going too. He was like, did he ever? That's a lie. Did he ever? That's a lie. Did he ever plow through that girl's chest? No, I didn't say. That's all he was talking about. I didn't say anything. Wait, wait, wait. Listen, I didn't say anything like that, bro. I don't. Josh is my boy.
I'm deeply uncomfortable with both Doughboy and Josh's sex lives, but it is what it is. You just kind of got to deal with it. What's
up
with my baby? Who's your baby, Tam?
Tam looks like... Oh, I forgot about that. Tam looks like if black people were Asians. Her eyes are really close together. She's ugly. Damn. She's ugly. How are you going to talk about a black woman like that? She looks like the help. Remember that movie? She looks like that. I'm not giving her ugly. She's ugly as hell. Ugly as hell. Even
if she is ugly, it's like, why do we just immediately need to jump to that? Because when we talk about brand, it's not like, He's fat.
I am fat. His butt's really high up. And I'm okay
with that. No, but if I lead with that, it's like, what do you think of Brandon? And I'm like, oh, he's fat.
See, this is the problem. I know and accept that I am fat. Tam does not know. She's in denial about being ugly. She is. She's cute. Dude, she's constantly posting on Twitter, and no one's watching it except me, so I can make fun of her. I don't feel like she is. I like the only fucking person watching. She's like, I really want to kiss this white guy in the mouth right now. She was on a date tweeting during the date, bro. That she wanted to kiss the white boy? She didn't tell
us
about the $40 on
the
nightstand.
Nah, don't do that. Don't
do what? She likes Mexicans, first of all.
Mexicans are white. Mexicans are white people. White people came from, where is Spain? Europe, right? They came and fucked the shit out of y'all ancestors. And now y'all
here. They're native.
Native what?
Like Aztecs, Mayans.
Native to selling oranges on the side of the freeway?
Here we go.
Coming in hot. I'm joking. It's fine.
Hey, that's racist. I'm just glad because I've been catching the racist call outs
lately. Now we brought a real one in. Let's go. No, you really
are
a racist. How? And you're the worst kind of racist. You're a racist that doesn't Realize you're racist.
What did I do that's racist recently? It's too deep for this show. Oh, okay.
Moose ain't no racist. I vouch for him. He's not a racist. I love Doughboy. Can I have 30 seconds to explain? Yeah, please. You got more than 30. We got a lot of time. 30 minutes. This is why Moose is a racist and he doesn't understand he's a racist. I will click that any day. So listen, so listen. Okay. Moose and his community right now are fighting to keep a bunch of illegal criminal aliens in the country who broke the law, right?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What jokes and identity talk kick off the episode?
0:00–20:50
2
How do they shift to debating illegal immigration and its impact on housing?
20:50–43:55
3
When does the conversation turn to minimum‑wage, labor shortages, and wages?
43:55–1:09:18
4
What personal health, relationship, and sex‑talk topics emerge later in the show?
1:09:18–1:26:18
5
What is the story behind the anonymous woman and the sexual anecdotes?
1:26:18–1:47:00
6
How does the conversation shift to dating and relationship advice?
1:47:00–2:10:05
7
What health and fitness topics do they discuss, including weight loss and training?
2:10:05–2:25:58
8
Why do they start debating tacos, condiments, and food preferences?
2:25:58–2:42:52
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from No Jumper
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