Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
the five-year-old birthday party scene is pretty wild it's wild it's intense you go to like you go to like other parents five-year-old birthday parties and they're balling out of control spending like 100 racks and you're like oh shit i did i didn't do 100 but i did close to that for the first birthday the first birthday we went crazy too and then after that we were like this is the whole cinderella carriage horse drawn white clydesdales you know parade like i went nuts we had a pony yeah i was in houston so you could paint the pony
The kids are into it, you just lather paint on the pony.
A lavender pony?
All kinds of different colors. Anyway, No Jumper, coolest podcast in the world, and today we're tapped in. We got Hazel E. on the podcast.
How you feeling? I'm feeling good, feeling blessed.
Yeah, I mean, I met you a couple weeks ago, and I think it's fair to say that you were in love at the time.
I wouldn't go as far as in love, but in a lot alike.
You were touching on this man and vice versa. You were in the throat.
We were into it. We were into each other. I thought we were.
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Chapter 2: What does Hazel E reveal about her relationship with Blueface?
Yeah.
And then he pulled up on me and then, you know, I was like, all right, let's get bottles. And then we were standing there talking. He's all in my ear. He's like, you want to go viral? And I was like, okay. So I told Shirley, I was like, yeah, get the cameras. Let's turn this bitch up, you know? So, and then it was just like a vibe.
Wow.
And then he hit me to be in his video like the next day and we shot the video two days after that.
Okay.
And then.
So did you guys have sex the first night you met?
No. No. No.
Was there.
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Chapter 3: How did Hazel E and Blueface's relationship begin?
Really? Yeah. So, yeah, there is the business side of me. You know what I'm saying? So that escort mentality, I know where you were going with that. And it's important because like my book was in colleges for freshmen, college girls. It got put into actual curriculum. So it was to teach women about the girl code and keeping ethics and morals. Right.
So even if I have an escort, if you say that's the escort mentality, it's just for me, it's a business mindset. I'm not saying he had to pay to hit. Right. Because he didn't have to pay to hit. But he wanted me to do a job that he's going to make money on.
Right. Because you're in that video for life.
I'm in the video for life. He wants to delete everything of me, but he can't delete the video. I dare him to. I want him to put it back up.
Wait, it's still up, right?
It's still up. But people were saying, because I was like, you know, I helped make your video number one. Even on the video set, he was like, I'm so glad I picked you. Like, I made the right decision. Like, he knew. He knew what my viral capabilities are, too. Like, I've been doing this. I started the viral shit. Like, come on, we built Shade Room.
Like me, Cat Williams, Love & Hip Hop season one. We had the internet on smash. So where they're at in this space, it's like, yeah, if you're going to do that, you put me in the video. So of course I hope to go number one. So it's like the highest ranking engagements you have on your page.
But so did you think twice at all about some of the lyrics in the sense of like comparing women to dogs? I know that that's been very, very viral and very funny. But I can imagine that when you're in the middle of this love affair, maybe it seems all good.
But then maybe in the back of your mind, you're also thinking like, hey, this is maybe not how I want to be presented, especially as a woman who's been in the game for a while. You know, he deals with a lot of chicks who are realistically pretty ratchet.
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Chapter 4: What was the dynamic between Hazel E and Blueface during their relationship?
Yeah.
Yeah. I was thinking maybe it was like, maybe like, and then I was like, damn, the dog. I was like, this nigga really think he a dog. Like for real. Like he, you know what I'm saying? Like he really thinks he's a dog. Cause even in the bedroom, he's, that's when he gets into the real, the real role playing with the pets.
Did he ever bark?
It wasn't necessarily a bark, but it was definitely a... There was no actual animals involved in this, right?
There was no animals.
He was like, you know, I guess he was a dog and trying to catch a nut.
Oh, shit. Yeah, I mean, and we all, you know. Wait, so when did you... So sexually, would you say that he lives up to the hype? I don't know if the hype is like about him as a sex partner necessarily, but you're kind of making it sound like he was really performing.
He's definitely performative. That's a big word these days. Yeah, it is, huh?
Wait, wait, wait. So you're saying performative. Does that kind of mean that it's more of a performance rather than actually providing... sensuality and pleasure.
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Chapter 5: How does Hazel E feel about the public perception of her relationships?
How would you know?
Yeah. On Schoolyard Crip. On the Dead Homies. That's my pussy.
Oh, Schoolyard Crip.
That's my pussy. Damn. For real. That's awesome.
How the hell did you know that?
I don't know. I just felt like I know him. I knew what his style would be. Yeah.
That is it. I'm crying right now. I'm dead. Dead on the dead homies. That was definitely on the dead homies.
But was it weird to like, you know, kind of have this like flare up of like, obviously you're on TV, you're getting all this attention and stuff, but like now you're in his world where it's like, it's a totally, it's a fried.
fan base of some of the most burnt out bitches on earth are like really in the blue face fan club i was like with kat williams for four years right so and he's a little bit of a j cat but i mean blue face he's on a whole different playing field i feel like yeah because cat doesn't do social media so right yeah and with blue faces like he's controlling it like every day here boom here's your narrative for the day
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Chapter 6: What insights does Hazel E share about dating younger men?
No.
He don't move like an unk.
well like in his we his 30s i mean i'm 45 i'm a cougar yeah so no for sure you'll have to own what we are i mean okay he's not like you're right that typically 28 you're kind of like out of the yn category or whatever but i feel like it's more like your lifestyle and like how you present yourself and everything like that like i mean i'm confident that he will graduate to unk status one day but i don't you don't really give out that energy
I mean, with the way those peg legs are shaking and stuff, I don't know. He barely can like, you know, walk and stuff now. I don't know. He might be closer than we think.
Well, you think his body is still like adjusting to the weight that he put on?
Yeah, because it's so weird. You remember that video when he was trying to lift the deadlift? What is that called? Oh, yeah. It's like if you notice, his only issue is that the legs are still as small then with the new weight.
Maybe he skipped leg day.
Yeah, I don't know.
For two years in prison.
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Chapter 7: What are Hazel E's thoughts on the reality TV landscape?
And after I took my daughter over there for the video set and kind of got dragged a little bit for bringing her to the circus. This is also, I didn't even know about the circus. Like I knew about him. I knew about Creshawn. Like I'd never, even though I was on Zeus, like after my shit aired, I dropped the subscription. So-
The only things I would know about his life would be like clips or stuff I seen on social media years ago before, you know, all this. So, uh, yeah, I like, I can't be over at the house, staying at the house all day with my child. I got to get her to school. We live in Calabasas. We live out here. Like it just wasn't that, but in a, yeah. The cameras there is, can you make the dinner reservations?
Can you order me my food? Can you, I need new, you know what I'm saying? Um, We're about to go do whatever meeting at Meme House. Can you stop and give me some deodorant? I need. And yeah, you just instinctually just like, OK, like he's a YN. Like, of course he needs help.
But he can still match it up because he could still, you know, send me the car service and buy me the roses, give me the money. Like, you know, so it balances everything.
So it felt good? Would you say that your preference is like a YN? Or would you prefer to be with a guy who's 45, 50 years old who's kind of a little bit more solid doing grown man stuff all day as opposed to kind of running wild?
That's what I probably need and would probably do me well. But those guys want younger women. So they're not really into us. They want somebody that... They can like, that's going to cater to them, that they're going to be their world, that aren't going to come with as many restrictions or boundaries and don't know what they want and they can worship them.
Really? That's the vibe? Yeah. I feel like a lot of guys out here are looking for something more solid.
I'd have to probably go up to like 60 or something. Oh, 60 is a lot. Yeah, I just I can't do 60. I've tried 50. I've tried 40s. I feel like 40s. They're already they're divorced like myself. Like they're just they're wounded. They keep their guard up. They like hate love. Like, you know, there's that that they want to just be there. And the YNs, they still have like hope for love.
They still want to live life. They still want to bring life into you. They just worship you damn.
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Chapter 8: How does Hazel E define her legendary status in reality TV?
I stopped. Like when I think about when I got into a relationship, when I was like 32, I was wowing the fuck out. I was still partying my ass off.
I started loving hip hop in our thirties.
Yeah, 36 is when I was like, you know what, I'm going to have a kid and chill the fuck out.
Exactly. And I waited until 40. I waited until I was married. I waited until, you know, so I was just like a late, like I got it all out my system, you know, but I waited until 40. And then I married a YN. He was 25.
Right. Was that a mistake? Well, I mean, yeah, clearly.
Due for different reasons, though.
Yeah, no.
Just because it's not even he just wanted a mom. He wanted to be taken care of. It's damn near like he was like a Tinder swindler.
Really?
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