Non-Monogamy Help
Episodes
Episode 180 - From Cheating to Polyamory
17 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Unresolved betrayal needs to be addressed before moving forward into polyamory, or it will easily become a tit-for-tat situation.That's what's...
Episode 179 - Disability and Non-Monogamy
03 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Partners and friends can help with the admin burden of checking accessibility. That's what mutual aid is all about. That's what's on this ...
Episode 178 - Relationship Anarchy for Newbies
20 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Two people could both be relationship anarchists and still not be compatible in terms of what they want or need out of a relationship.That's what&...
Episode 177 - What "Not Serious" Means
06 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
It doesn't matter if you don't call your relationship serious. If you act as though it is, your brain will feel like it is anyway.That's w...
Episode 176 - Hierarchy vs Life Partner
20 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Trying to figure out if polyamory is for you while dealing with new relationship energy can be a significant struggle.That's what's on this we...
Episode 175 - Re-release Not Good Enough
06 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes when your partner wants non-monogamy you can be left feeling like you’ve failed or not done enough.That's what's on this week of N...
Episode 174 - Kitchen Table Parallel Polyamory
23 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Is it possible to be kitchen table polyam and also have parallel relationships? Absolutely. There is no rule. That's what's on this week of No...
Episode 173 - Polyamory Chicken
09 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Your brain is telling you a lie: slowing down their relationship won't make your relationship safer.That's what's on this week of Non-Mono...
Episode 172 - Forcing Kitchen Table
26 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Metas don't owe you friendship and how being too involved in their drama makes it worse.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. F...
Episode 171 - Deconstructing Monogamy
12 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Don't just follow the cultural script and behave like you're basically a monogamous couple with disposable arm candy.That's what's on ...
Episode 170 - Dating Serial Monogamists
21 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
All relationships end anyway. Some just come with a clearer expiration date than others.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full...
Episode 169 - Marriage and Polyamory
07 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There is one throne and one person who can sit in that throne, and right now that's you—but you can be replaced.That's what's on this week of Non-Mo...
Episode 168 - Kitchen Table Drama
24 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The hinge is not hinging, and then the two metas have to negotiate with each other like the hinge is a hostage.That's what's on this week of Non-Monog...
Episode 167 - Surprise Polyamory
10 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
You don't get told who you're in a relationship with. That's something you decide yourself.That's what's on this week of Non-Monog...
Episode 166 - Exclusivity in Polyamory
26 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Just because you're secondary doesn't mean you should accept being treated like you don't matter.That's what's on this week of Non...
Episode 165 - Re-Release Primal Panic
12 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week I'm re-sharing Episode 104 on Primal Panic because it's one of the most popular episodes and you might have missed it!That's wha...
Episode 164 - Too Much Labour
29 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Stop carrying the entire mental load of your relationship while your partner coasts on your effort.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy ...
Episode 163 - People Pleasing in Polyamory
15 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are you people pleasing to the point where you think you've over corrected but really, you're under-correcting?That's what's on this w...
Episode 162 - Setting Real Boundaries in Polyamory
01 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
You should never have to ask, 'What if someone crosses my boundary?' Because the boundary, in and of itself, by definition, should include wha...
Episode 161 - Bedtime Relationship Rumination
18 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Why your brain processes relationship conflicts at night and how to break the cycle without exhausting your partner.That's what's on this week...
Episode 160 - What A Boundary Is
27 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How many times should you let someone violate your boundaries and can you rebuild trust after?That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help....
Episode 159 - No Contact Metamour
13 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When you’re no contact with a nesting metamour, can you make a relationship with your shared partner work?That's what's on this week of Non-...
Episode 158 - Hierarchies and Polyamory
30 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When your primary partner only wants to have threesomes other partners and not you, it may not be a good sign.That's what's on this week of Non-Monoga...
Episode 157 - Solo Not Celibate
16 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Trying polyamory with a solo polyam person could be potentially difficult for a monogamous person.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy H...
Episode 156 - Polyamory Obsessed
02 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How do you stop becoming just a little bit obsessed with reading about polyamory?That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the ful...
Episode 155 - Re-Release Hierarchies and Ethics
18 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Prioritising a long term marriage is unethical to many people, but what do you if that’s genuinely what you want to do?That's what's on this week of...
Episode 154 - Sharing Home With A Metamour
04 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Feeling like you have to make yourself scarce in your own home can get old very quickly.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find ...
Episode 153 - Childhood Trauma and Polyamory
21 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How long should a partner wait for you to work through childhood trauma until you are “ready” for polyamory?That's what's on this week of ...
Episode 152 - Reddit Ashes
07 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Responding to the r/relationships question: My boyfriend wouldn't go with me to spread my father's ashes That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy He...
Episode 151 - Cold Metamour
21 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If your metamour is a little cold to you, when do you decide to tell your partner? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the ...
Episode 150 - Q&A
31 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Questions for this week's Q&A episode include: - Any tips for long distance polyamory? - How do you deal with guilt over having a stronger ro...
Episode 149 - Mono/Poly Relationships
17 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Everyone always wonders if it is possible to be monogamous to polyamorous person successfully. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find t...
Episode 148 - Children from Flings
03 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When a fling results in a different parent of your child, it might be difficult to know whether or not to involve the biological parent. That's what's...
Episode 147 - Dating Monogamous People
20 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Your partner doesn’t seem to mind dating monogamous people but you feel it’s not right. Can you actually change it? That's what's on this week of ...
Episode 146 - Polyamory to Avoid Breaking Up
06 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Is it a good idea to try polyamory just to avoid breaking up with your partner and are you insecure and traumatised if you're struggling to make it wo...
Episode 145 - Re-release
22 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Episode 85 was titled Insecurity and Comparisons and was about being worried about having feelings about your partner interacting with pictures of oth...
Episode 144 - Polyamory FOMO
08 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when you start off polyamory liking it but start feeling resentful towards your partner when they go on dates? That's what's on this we...
Episode 143 - Experienced But Anxious
25 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when you feel incredibly anxious about any new partner your partner has even though you are very experienced in polyamory? That's what's...
Episode 142 - Finding New Partners
11 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You want your partner to be more supportive in helping you find more partners or being a better wingman because you’re struggling to find new partne...
Episode 141 - Making Amends
27 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Everybody messes up in relationships but making amends isn’t always a one sided action. You have to work together to rebuild trust. That's what...
Episode 140 - Q&A
06 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Questions for this week's Q&A episode include: How do I address friends who don't ask about or invite your partner to things? Friends wh...
Episode 139 - Boundaries vs. Rules
23 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you frequently don’t follow your boundaries with action, your brain could respond with anxiety because of the self-sabotage. That's what&#...
Episode 138 - Conflicting Routines
09 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Trying to work out intentional time together when life circumstances and sleep schedules get in the way without taking it personally can be a challeng...
Episode 137 - Meta's Fault
26 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Your partner is making decisions about your relationship based off of your metamour’s feelings and resentment is building. That's what's on...
Episode 136 - Long Distance Sharing
12 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you don’t want any other partners sharing your bed, is this jealousy or just a reasonable boundary? That's what's on this week of Non-Mo...
Episode 135 - Long Distance Avoidance
28 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You’ve done all the studying but still can’t shake the negative feelings when your partner dates others and you think you may be monogamous by nat...
Episode 134 - Polyamory and Trauma
14 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Seeing yourself as “traumatised” may actually be causing yourself more stress and difficulty than if you allowed yourself the permission to feel. ...
Episode 133 - Pressure to Open
31 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Coming at a crossroads in your relationship with compatibility can make you feel a pressure to open your relationship, but rethinking that might help....
Episode 132 - Mind Reading
17 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you feel too uncomfortable to ask for what you want from your partner then holding resentment towards them for not meeting your needs may not be fa...
Episode 131 - Cheating Introduction
03 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Can you move from cheating to a “successful” polyamorous relationship and what needs to happen? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogam...
Episode 130 - Deprioritised
12 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you know you’re being deprioritised and you just feel you can’t leave, can you actually make it work. That's what's on this week of Non...
Episode 129 - Struggling to Be Together
29 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You can’t live your life only making decisions based on what will or won’t disappoint other adults. That's what's on this week of Non-Mono...
Non-Monogamy Help Trailer
22 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What's Non-Monogamy Help about? I explain it. Head to nonmonogamyhelp.com for more details.
Episode 128 - Stopping Emotions
08 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Is there really a way to stop your emotions in their tracks or fully control them especially if you’re in a difficult housing situation? That's ...
Episode 127 - Polyamory for Straight Dudes
01 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Giving my best recap of what straight men might face when it comes to the lifestyle of polyamory. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy H...
Episode 126 - Living With Partners
16 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Living with people is already hard but living with a new partner and a metamour you don’t have a connection with can add to the challenge. That'...
Episode 125 - De-escalating from Polyamory
02 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Is there a way to do polyamory without doing polyamory or de-escalate when you figure out that polyamory is not for you? That's what's on this...
Episode 124 - Reasonable Boundaries
21 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Knowing what boundaries are “reasonable” and which aren’t can be complicated in polyamory, especially when difficult feelings are involved. That...
Episode 123 - Keeping Things Equal
13 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
How do you keep things equal between your partners especially when it comes to introducing them to family? That's what's on this week of Non-M...
Episode 122 - Jealousy vs. Envy
22 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes long distance is difficult and the emotions it makes you feel aren’t always jealousy. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy H...
Episode 121 - Q&A
08 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
I asked on my Instagram @NonMonogamyHelp for people to submit questions they had. Here's the result! That's what's on this week of Non-Mon...
Episode 120 - Forced Primary
17 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
You’ve been happy as a secondary but slowly your partner is requesting more and more time after a recent breakup. That's what's on this week...
Episode 119 - Brutal Honesty
03 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Your partner outright tells you that they plan on prioritising someone over you. It’s harsh but is it what should happen? That's what's on t...
Episode 118 - Don't Ask, Don't Tell
20 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
When you agree to a DADT relationship with a closeted partner but it’s not moving fast enough into a more polyamorous relationship. That's what&...
Episode 117 - Metamour Management
06 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes knowing way too much about your partner’s relationship with their metamour can seriously impact your relationship. That's what's o...
Episode 116 - Authentically Polyamorous
22 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Telling the difference between a couple of bad dates and polyamory just not being for you can sometimes be difficult. That's what's on this we...
Episode 115 - Compersion Required
08 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Is it unethical or wrong to not want to date someone who doesn’t feel compersion? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the ...
Episode 114 - Creeping Paranoia
25 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A partner who reacts to a little bit of paranoia by accusing you of calling them a liar isn’t the best sign of moving forward in conflict in a relat...
Episode 113 - Slowly Losing Time
11 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
You’re slowly and slowly losing the time you have with a metamour and you’re not quite sure how to navigate their boundaries around their time. Th...
Episode 112 - Happiness Is An Inside Job
28 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Staying with someone to make them happy may not be what you think it should be. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full...
Episode 111 - Friend Without Benefits
14 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A friends with benefits situation that seems like it might go into something more because your FWB complains about their partner may seem ideal but it...
Episode 110 - Live Q&A #1
23 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
I hosted my first Live Q&A on Instagram and got a lot of interesting questions. If you missed it, check it out here and be sure to follow @NonMono...
Episode 109 - Wanting More Time
09 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Is the drive to go out and get another partner to “balance” things out just childish? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Fin...
Episode 108 - Gendered Energies
26 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
There’s a lot behind being worried about being judged as a thruple but also wanting masculine energy for an upcoming child. That's what's on...
Episode 107 - When To End It
12 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
If you’re not sure whether or not to stay together but you want to stay together for the children, is that a possibility in polyamory? That's wh...
Episode 106 - The Third Wheel
28 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Dating two people who have a history together is going to trigger some anxiety within you. Maybe you’re not jealous — you’re just normal. That&#...
Episode 105 - Becoming Monogamous
14 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Therapy can’t make someone monogamous who doesn’t want to be and it can’t make someone non-monogamous who doesn’t want to be. That's what&...
Episode 104 - Primal Panic
31 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This letter encapsulates why I feel like attachment labels can be extremely unhelpful for people who experience anxiety during polyamory. That's w...
Episode 103 - Rose Tinted Glasses
17 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Picking polyamory because you don’t politically agree with monogamy doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t experience any negative emotions. Th...
Episode 102 - Clear Communication
03 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Polyamory won’t solve an issue where you don’t believe people when they tell you they are interested in you and this podcast explains why. That's ...
Episode 101 - Reconciliation or Retribution
17 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Your new non-monogamous relationship has begun from cheating — and your partner wants to keep dating the person they cheated with. How do you rebuil...
Episode 100 - Monogamy Is Not A Belief
27 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
You can ask yourself if monogamous people can “change” or you can ask yourself why you keep choosing to expect monogamous people will change for y...
Episode 99 - Long Distance Jealousy
13 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It’s hard when you’re in a long distance relationship and someone else gets to be with your partner when you can’t. That's what's on this week o...
Episode 98 - Mixed Signals is a Signal
30 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Learn how to step away from not only mixed signals but also from managing your partner’s other relationships. That's what's on this week of Non-Mono...
Episode 97 - When to Say When
16 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Non-monogamy is *not* about building a series of unfulfilling relationships until you reach a permissible stasis. That's what's on this week of Non-Mo...
Episode 96 - Needing Distance After Dates
02 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Your partner comes home from a date and needs reassurance, but you can’t give it in that moment. Is this something to overcome? That's what's on thi...
Episode 95 - Secretly Non-Monogamous
18 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you’re not sure if you’re really non-monogamous or not, how do you label yourself on dating sites to make sure you’re not doing something wro...
Episode 94 - Clashing Triggers
04 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It triggers you to open the relationship but it triggers your partner to close it. Is there any way to solve it? That's what's on this week's episode ...
Episode 93 - Meeting Metamours
21 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
A metamour not wanting to meet you is not always a sign of insecurity or jealousy but demanding to meet and be friends with a metamour might actually ...
Episode 92 - Unclear Boundaries
07 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes people are jerks and sometimes experiences help us learn when we can also step away. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy He...
Episode 91 - Hierarchies and Ethics
23 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Some people think having a “primary” partner is always an unethical decision but isn’t prioritising a long term marriage logical? That's what's ...
Episode 90 - Breakup News
02 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Mentioning that you’re going through a breakup is not an expectation of emotional support to new partners, friends or anyone else. That's what's on ...
Episode 89 - Mismatched Drives
19 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Will opening a relationship help if one partner expects spontaneous sex but the other is dealing with a stressful job and anxiety medication? That's w...
Episode 88 - One Rule to Rule Them All
05 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes making a rule causes the exact problem that the rule is designed to prevent. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find...
Episode 87 - Showering Rules
15 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When having strict rules makes you feel controlled, coming to a compromise with a partner who wants a specific thing can seem impossible. That's what'...
Episode 86 - No Exes as Friends
08 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Your new partner demands, during a period of grief, that you stop being friends with an ex and now might not be the best time to push back on the ulti...
Episode 85 - Insecurity and Comparisons
24 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You want to be non-monogamous but you can’t stop feeling a way about your partner commenting or liking pictures of others. How do you deal? That's w...
Episode 84 - Disclosure and Outing
10 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You’re in a not so open minded city. How do you tell people you want to date that you’re currently in a polyamorous or open relationship? That's w...
Episode 83 - Recycled Dates
27 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when you’re trying non-monogamy for the first time, but you and your partner can’t come to an agreement on things like not going to t...
Episode 82 - Dating Metamours
13 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When your shared partner is making you both feel like you’re a triad when you’ve never agreed to that… it can get a little awkward. That's what'...