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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

2.933 - 16.285 James Acaster

and there are still tickets available at jamesacaster.com. I'm looking at you, Glasgow, Belfast. Oh, there was somewhere else. Just please go on the website and buy tickets, please, jamesacaster.com.

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30.473 - 48.077 Unknown

Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast. Peeling the tab of conversation off the Toblerone of friendship and really trying hard to break off a chunk of humour is the Toblerone Podcast, James. I was just thinking about Toblerone. I'm so tired.

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48.547 - 60.79 James Acaster

That is Ed Gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together, we own a dream restaurant. And every single week, we invite in a guest asking their favourite ever start, a main course dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week, our guest is... Montaigne.

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61.011 - 63.195 Unknown

Montaigne James is a musician, of course.

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63.315 - 72.97 James Acaster

Fantastic musician. One of my faves. I discovered their music. That's part of my 2016 project when I went absolutely nuts. Oh, no way. And bought loads of albums in 2016.

72.99 - 76.575 Unknown

Hang on, now we've interviewed everyone from Strictly. Are we going through everyone you discovered in 2016?

77.015 - 94.875 James Acaster

Yes, and it's going to be a long road, my friend. That's a lot of people. That is a lot of people. And every one of their albums, I'd say, has got better and better. But bear in mind... It started well. I loved the debut album. Yeah. Each album I've loved more and more. Loved the direction that their music has gone in. And I absolutely love their new album, It's Hard To Be A Fish.

95.156 - 97.077 Unknown

I listened to it on the way over. I loved it as well.

97.498 - 114.393 James Acaster

It's fantastic. Very excited to talk to Jess. Yes. Which is Montaigne's actual name. Yes. About the album. And also, I don't know what kind of food they like. Even though we've worked together. We've made food together? No. No. We've made music together.

Chapter 2: How does Montaigne's music journey connect to 2016?

151.344 - 153.569 James Acaster

Okay. I always couldn't remember if it's love or life.

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153.79 - 161.848 Unknown

Yeah. Music is a food of love play on. Yeah. Well, there you go. And if food is the music of love, make me dinner.

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162.605 - 168.531 James Acaster

That's a new tagline for the podcast, Benito. You've got to put that out there so the world can hear it, because that's a good tagline.

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168.852 - 171.735 Unknown

Tell you what, now and again, I really tickle myself.

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172.195 - 190.975 James Acaster

Yeah, yeah. When we were trying to come up with... There's a secret ingredient in this podcast, by the way, where if the guest says it, then we kick them out. And we were trying to come up with what Montaigne's one could be, and Ed was like, is Montaigne... Is it like a mountain in some language? It's not a...

190.955 - 213.166 James Acaster

But it was like, oh, Montaigne is like, in French, it's like, oh, we could pick a Toblerone if it's that. And then we decided against it. And then, immediately, Ed starts talking and he's pilling the tab off the Toblerone. It's on the brain. He's still thinking about Toblerone. Bleep, bleep, it was in the queue. Got to get it out there. But the secret ingredient is not Toblerone.

213.186 - 215.869 James Acaster

The secret ingredient is... Fish. It's fish.

Chapter 3: What themes are explored in Montaigne's new album?

216.27 - 226.727 James Acaster

Because the album's got the word fish in it. It's there. It's on the plate. Although... I don't know Jess's eating habits. I think that Jess doesn't eat meat, but I'm not sure.

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226.847 - 230.333 Unknown

Okay. So there might be a vegan. So there might be no way we can get them out.

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230.633 - 240.73 James Acaster

There might be. This might be, yeah, just like pointless. Yes. We might as well have just said a chair. You know, but like... Vegans could eat a chair?

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Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift towards food and dining?

241.231 - 243.715 James Acaster

To be fair, depends what the chair is. Not a leather chair, obviously.

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244.476 - 244.857 Unknown

Good point.

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245.123 - 252.512 James Acaster

Yeah, so if there are any vegans in who have just tucked a napkin in their collar and about to eat a leather chair, you want me to Google what's in that.

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252.573 - 254.215 Unknown

You might want to have a look, you fucking idiot.

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254.415 - 270.135 James Acaster

Yeah. Montaigne is touring Australia in August for the 10th anniversary of their glorious Heights album, 2016. For dates and tickets, go to montaignemusic.com.au. This is the off-menu menu of Montaigne.

278.063 - 280.046 Unknown

Welcome, Montaigne, to the Dream Restaurant.

280.386 - 285.795 James Acaster

Oh, thank you for having me. Welcome, Montaigne, to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time.

285.815 - 287.778 Montaigne

Well, yeah, thank you.

288.398 - 295.99 James Acaster

Those are getting louder. Yeah, it has to get louder. Because if people have listened to the podcast before, they're going to expect an invite. I've got to surprise them.

Chapter 5: What humorous stories are shared about childhood pranks?

2401.056 - 2402.258 Montaigne

Ever get stuck up there?

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2402.238 - 2413.075 Unknown

Yeah. Can you reach it? No, just wait for it to sort of peel itself off throughout the day. Hope it drops on my mum's head. And I'm in the corner giggling.

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2414.27 - 2433.855 James Acaster

One of my favourite things is just Ed as a little kid hanging out with his mum. I find very funny. I can't really describe why, but every time it's Ed hanging out with his mum and it's the idea of him waiting for the fettuccine to drop in his mum's head at some point. It's just funny. I like that that's your relationship with your mum.

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2433.875 - 2434.876 Ed Gamble

I was a prankster.

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2435.037 - 2439.282 Unknown

Yeah, I put itching powder in my mum's bed once. Oh my God. Got it free with a B now.

2439.717 - 2441.64 James Acaster

I was going to say, it's so Dennis the medicine.

2441.8 - 2450.474 Unknown

He's got to be involved somehow. Yeah. I think she went out and there was a babysitter and I put itching powder in the bed and then the next morning my mum was like, I could barely sleep last night. I was so itchy.

Chapter 6: How does Montaigne describe their favorite vegan cheese?

2450.494 - 2458.346 Unknown

I was like, yeah. Itching powder will do that, mum. She was not happy.

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2458.707 - 2459.108 Montaigne

Oh, yeah, I bet.

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2459.128 - 2460.15 Unknown

She did not think it was a laugh.

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2460.47 - 2460.951 Montaigne

Oh, my God.

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2460.971 - 2481.687 James Acaster

I mean, I don't want to, like, you know, be one of those people. You wouldn't get away with that now. You couldn't give away your itching powder in the Beano. Surely. What do you mean? Itching powder's been cancelled. Surely, surely, surely, comics aren't allowed to, like, just give away stuff that, like, a bag of itching powder... to kids now that they can use on people.

2481.807 - 2483.63 Montaigne

Did you get your back from a comic?

2483.65 - 2484.431 Unknown

Yeah, from the Bino.

2484.451 - 2487.154 Montaigne

Oh, what's the Bino? I don't know what the Bino is.

2487.395 - 2493.803 Unknown

The Bino is like a kid's comic that's been around for decades.

Chapter 7: What is Montaigne's dream meal and who would prepare it?

2494.925 - 2499.29 Unknown

No, so the Bino is the name of the publication and then there's like Dennis the Menace.

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2499.31 - 2501.213 Montaigne

Oh, you're saying comics like...

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2501.665 - 2504.349 Unknown

Okay, so not a comedian. Like comedians.

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2504.369 - 2505.731 Montaigne

Yeah, I'm not a comedian.

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2505.932 - 2516.228 Unknown

You thought Beano was a stand-up comedian. It was really weird, actually. When I was a kid, this guy came around and he was like, I'm a comic called Beano. Have some itching powder, stick it in your mum's bed.

2518.692 - 2520.295 Ed Gamble

Thanks, Beano. Thank you, Beano.

2521.356 - 2522.098 James Acaster

Beano's so funny.

2522.799 - 2524.281 Unknown

Any other kids live around here?

2525.729 - 2528.953 James Acaster

I've got more itching powder than I know what to do with.

Chapter 8: What insights does Montaigne share about their music career?

2550.856 - 2552.725 James Acaster

And knobbly knees and a dog called Gnasher.

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2554.131 - 2556.04 Unknown

Guess he's been in the B&O more recently.

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2556.391 - 2557.813 Montaigne

The Beaner's still going.

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2557.833 - 2563.82 Unknown

Yeah. Guess who's been in it? Us. Really? Yeah.

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2564.12 - 2564.621 Montaigne

That's really cool.

2564.641 - 2565.762 Unknown

Probably the highlight of my career.

2565.982 - 2566.723 Montaigne

Wow.

2567.044 - 2567.224 Unknown

Yeah.

2567.304 - 2568.565 Montaigne

Like as little characters?

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