Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Sam Spade, detective.
And the world began. Woman was meant for man.
Oh, Mr. Spade.
I must say, this is the shortest honeymoon in my experience. Yes, and you've been keeping something from me. Oh, I wouldn't blame myself if I did. It would be exactly telegraphed at this point. Come on in, Angel, and I'll tell you as much about it as I think you should know. And what may I ask? There's a large parcel with a pink ribbon around it? Love letters. What else?
Oh, I must say, for a whirlpool romance. Whirlpool? I mean, writing all those letters. When did she find time to get acquainted?
Stop pulling at that blouse. What's the matter with it?
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Chapter 2: What is the Love Letter Caper about?
You could lose a pound or two yourself. There you are. Eat the change.
Thanks. I'll smoke it after dinner.
The first thing that fell out of the envelope was a photograph. Glamour type. It was inscribed, he's Sam, body and soul, Ella. The letter was in the same tone of voice. Sam. Oh, Sam, my darling. Last night was so beautiful, but now my arms are empty and I'm filled with strange fears for the future. Unless I see you soon, I don't know how I can go on living. Come to me tonight, my darling.
Wait until the house is dark. Then slip into the west gate and I'll meet you beside the fountain. If you fail me, I don't know what I'll do. But I know you won't.
All, all, all my life. Forever.
Ella. I, uh, read it over again. Looked long and late at her picture and shook my memory down. I couldn't even remember ever meeting a girl named Ella. But I did remember that last night was definitely not beautiful. In fact, I had dropped 35 bucks in a blackjack game. Not deductible.
After I had tested the letter for invisible ink, codes, and ciphers, etc., with negative results, I decided it was either A, a crank letter, or B, bait, or C, a camouflage call for help from a damsel in distress. I took another look at said damsel's photograph and decided I would investigate her distress.
I then phoned my secretary and told her to look up the night's bus schedule to Atherton to return the dress on the envelope containing said love letter. It was around 11 in the p.m. and the moon was just clearing the treetops behind the Comstock Mansion when I slipped in at the west gate, heard the instructions in Ella's love letter, and took a plant beside the aforementioned fountain.
The house was in darkness and I didn't see the ladder until the moon cleared the chimney pot. There was a girl climbing down the ladder from the second story and she had a suitcase in her hand. When she reached the ground, she looked around anxiously, spotted me, and flew into my arms. Don't!
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Chapter 3: How does Sam Spade get involved in the mystery?
Your love letter arrived here. Come on. Here, let me carry your bag.
No, no, it's all right.
I'll carry it. Come on, come on. It's okay. No cops, no booby traps. Now, let's have a look in that suitcase. No, you must not. Come on, come on. Give it to me. No, you can't. Why not? Because you've got the wrong idea. Oh. Well, well, well. What have we here? I knew you'd get the wrong idea. The only thing you seem to have missed is the whole diamond. That jewelry is mine. Every piece of it.
It's all I have in the world. Poor kid. Let's see now. Diamond bracelet, not more than 10 grand. Emerald necklace, secondhand, of course. All told, I don't imagine this stuff will net you a penny more than 100,000 bucks. I know, but I'll just have to get along as best I can. I don't have any money of my own. Yeah, why did you write me that crazy love letter? Because my uncle reads all my news.
And I didn't want him to know I was hiring a detective. Why did you? I couldn't very well walk around with all these jewels without thumb protection, could I? Oh, my uncle, it followed me here. I suppose it's the cops. Oh, no, it's me. I know it. Where can I hide?
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Chapter 4: What clues does Sam uncover from the love letters?
You have a dead room? Yeah, but it has a window and a fire escape in here. Go on. Go on, go on. Faith? Yeah? I... I suppose she's told you about me. You her uncle? Oh, good heavens, no. I'm Stuart Mason. I'm her fiancƩ. Or was, until she ran away with you. Maybe you'd better step inside, Mr. Mason. Thank you. Sit down. I'd like to... No, no, no.
I just thought of a few things I'd like to leave for Ella. Here. This bundle of letters. Her love letters to me. I suppose she'll want to destroy them. Now, wait a minute, Mr. Mason. Don't jump to any rash conclusions. I saw her come down the ladder. I saw her throw herself into your arms. Yeah, but I... I can't blame her. I've been a coward.
I told myself it was for her own sake that I just threw herself on the ceiling with me. But now I know that, well, it was at least partly a fear for myself. But I might die the other day. Yeah, but, uh, what others? The men she's known, they've all died under mysterious circumstances. Didn't she warn you? Well, all she told me was that her uncle was insane and wouldn't let her out.
Crazy like a fox. As long as she remains unmarried, he controls her money. Three million dollars of it.
Uh-huh.
Well, only the brave deserve the fair. Alas, if you'll just give her these letters and tell her that I... You tell her yourself. Come on out, Ellen.
Why did you come here?
Your letters, my dear. And I... I wish you every happiness.
Stuart!
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Chapter 5: Who is Ella and what is her relationship with Sam?
What do you want? Mr. Spade, I've been aware for some time that you've been carrying on a surreptitious love affair with my niece. Look, Mr. Comstock.
What, Tim Riley? Don't worry, Mr. Comstock.
I advise you against trying to jump him, Spade. Why should I? You're both nuts, but not crazy enough to take a shot at me here. Try me instead. I wouldn't waste the energy. I haven't made a penny on this taper so far, and it doesn't look like I will. Ha! Not a penny, he says. The King's ransom and jewels extorted from a foolish, lovesick girl. Oh, how did I manage that?
Don't you play the innocent with me. This packet of love letters will satisfy the police. Blackmail. You're crazy. Those letters weren't written to me. You deny that Ella has ever written you a letter? One too many. In fact, one. Well, how do you explain these? Darling Sam. Sam, my dearest one. What? Sam, my great, big, beautiful detective.
Stated last October.
Hey, let me see those things.
I told you not to move.
So you did. Well, what now?
Very well. Give me the police department. Yes, it is. Hello? This is Hugo Comstock. I want to make a complaint. Blackmail. Oh. Hello. I want to... Yes, yes, Sergeant. The name is Hugo Comstock, and I'm making this complaint on behalf of my niece, Miss Ella Comstock.
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Chapter 6: What complications arise with Uncle Hugo?
Booked, bothered, and bewildered. What bewildered me was how to raise a $2,500 bail. Sam Spade, innocent dope.
I mean, dope.
The United States Armed Forces Radio Service is presenting the weekly adventure of Dashiell Hammett's famous private detective, Sam Spade. Up the times was my breakfast of rude prison fare. They didn't serve any rye crisps, but what they did serve was even less fattening.
I thrust my emaciated arms through the bars of my cell and clawed at the lapels of a passing bondsman and begged him for sucker. He says I didn't need any because I was it. I hurled him aside and sat down to think. About ten years, Sergeant Walt, told still in front of myself.
Okay, Sam, get moving. You're free.
Gee, thanks. Who stood my bail?
Great kidder, aren't you?
Sergeant, am I to understand that the charges have been dropped?
Get out of here.
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Chapter 7: How does the investigation unfold in the mansion?
What's that? I do, after you read my diary and my confessions to myself about S.A.M. and the references to his brilliant mind on criminal subjects. You were a natural stand-in for S.A.M. Pronounce S.A.P. But I wasn't going through with it then. Not after I met you.
Why not?
Because the moment I saw you, I knew that all those things I'd said in that love letter were real to you. Really? Last night was so beautiful? I think I... I think I must have dreamed of you. Exactly. Oh, Sam, darling, I... Come here. Oh, I can imagine. Boyfriends dropping dead right and left. Yeah. Go on. You spring me out of that blackmail for him so I can help you compound a felony.
But, Sam, what am I going to do? You forge the marriage, go forge the divorce. Where are you going? Back to jail. I'll see you there.
Oh, dear me. It's your foot. It's cast iron. Don't make them like that nowadays.
My foot?
Yes, your foot. I meant the strong box.
Oh.
Coming in or going out?
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Chapter 8: What shocking revelations are made about the family history?
He was a dead ringer for Uncle Hugo, which might have been a coincidence, but wasn't. I started scanning through the love letters. Find any money yet? Huh? Well, there's a Confederate pen spot. I'll let you know if I hit any paydirt. Well, at least she left me a pot to make tea in. What? But if there wasn't any money, why wouldn't Uncle Hugo let me get married?
Now, look, why don't you go and watch out that pot and make some tea, huh? Probably least. Oh, something in it. Hmm? No money. It's grandmother's marriage certificate and mother's and Uncle Hugo's birth certificate. Let's see those. Oh, it's crap. I might have known. I wonder who that is. That will be your Uncle Hugo. Well, that doesn't need to worry us anymore, does it?
Yeah, put these things back in the teapot and put the teapot on the mantelpiece. But it's crap. So am I, so do it anyway. Come right in, Uncle Hugo. You too, Cousin Riley, you fool. Very funny.
Now, now, don't be silly, Riley. Mother, accept your poor old uncle's blessing on this happy occasion.
I don't want your blessing, Uncle Hugo. You're a mean old man, and you killed all my fiancƩs.
Well, it appears that Mr. Cousins has already brought you a legacy. I believe I recognize your grandmother's strong bond. The mentors of a strange romantic chapter in the history of a great family, Mr. Sage. You, who have joined that family so unexpectedly, will have a privilege that even I was never granted.
Oh, how come?
My mother was a strange woman in some way.
I'm sure she was.
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