Paternology (FATHERHOOD) with Darby Saxbe
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What defines a good dad according to Dr. Darby Saxbe?
Oh, hey, that's the lady who has a podcast who you call Dad Ward because she doesn't mind embarrassing herself. So now you are mine. Hey, let's talk about dads. Who are they? What do they do? And in the words of many, many patrons who wrote in with questions, why do so many of them suck so bad? How did the good ones get it right? And we're going to find out. Hop in the back seat. Let's examine patternology about dads. You horse around back there. I'll turn this podcast around. But first, let's indeed thank those patrons for all the sweet and funny questions you sent. And if you'd like to submit yours before we record an episode, you can join the fam at patreon.com slash ologies for one hot dollar a month, which supports us.
Also, if you do have little ones, we have Smologies. Those are shorter, kid-friendly, G-rated episodes we put into their own feed, available to subscribe for free wherever you get podcasts. Just look for Smologies, S-M-O-L-O-G-I-E-S. Thanks to everyone who leaves reviews for the show, which always melt my heart, and they help others find ologies, such as this still warm one from Slugworm, who wrote, "...long-time listener, first-time reviewer, fell so in love with science again, my long-lost curiosity with nature, that I changed my degree to biology." I graduated with honors this last year, took a class in Costa Rica, went on birding trips, worked on a decades-long research project, made a program for kids, and so on.
Slugworm. If I told you how much that meant to me, this would be a very long episode. So thank you so much. Thanks to everyone who leaves reviews. I read them all. Also, thank you to sponsors of Ologies who make it possible for us to donate to a cause of the ologist choosing each week. Okay, Paternology, it comes from the Greek for pater, father. Don't get it twisted with Paterology, which is the study of God the Father in a holy, churchy way. But capital T, capital P, the patriarchy, also comes obviously from the same root, the rule of the father, which many anthropologists trace the patriarchy to an envy of motherhood and creation. Patriarchy deserves its own episode, but let's crack into this can of worms about dadhood with an absolutely brilliant, highly lauded clinical and research psychologist and USC professor of psychology who runs a lab, NEST, dedicated to studying family systems and specifically how dynamics and stress and hormones change with parenthood is their focus.
And I've been hunting them down for years.
How do male hormones change during and after pregnancy?
They're my neighbor. They live literally three blocks over. So they just came to my home studio with my small poodle mutt Grammy snoozing in the corner to chat about fatherhood, the industrial revolution, male hormones during pregnancy and after, what defines a good dad. diaper changing, division of labor, dad bods, gorillas, toxic masculinity, and their new excellent book titled Dad Brain, the new science of fatherhood and how it shapes men's lives. You can get your hands on it, get it as a gift for a dad, for your spouse, for yourself. So essentially, this book is valuable for anyone who was the result of a sperm and an egg. I genuinely think the more fathers who have this book, the better world we can make.
So without further hype, let's get into it with author, researcher, psychologist, and patternologist, Dr. Darby Saxby.
Thank you again so much for doing this. Oh, my pleasure. My sister, by the way, is a super fan. She loves your show.
She was so excited that I was going to be on it. She listens to it all the time. What's her name? Kat. Oh, my God.
I'm glad that she could vouch for us because sometimes you worry that people are like, Is this someone just talking to dolls in the basement, you know? Oh, but for an introduction. Darby Saxby, she, hers. I've been interested in talking to you and people from your lab for literal years. Can you describe some of the research that goes on there?
Definitely. Yeah. So I run a lab called the Neuroendocrinology of Social Ties. So the acronym is the NEST Lab. And NEST is kind of like an apt metaphor because we're very interested in family relationships and stress and how people connect with each other.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What defines a good dad according to Dr. Darby Saxbe?
0:00–2:26
2
How do male hormones change during and after pregnancy?
2:26–4:45
3
What role does social media play in modern fatherhood?
4:45–7:12
4
How does fatherhood impact toxic masculinity?
7:12–9:05
5
What are the historical roles of fathers in parenting?
9:05–11:15
6
How can dads contribute to their child's development?
11:15–14:08
7
What are the effects of father involvement on children?
14:08–16:14
8
How can fathers navigate challenges in parenting today?
16:14–1:21:20
Speakers
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