On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Communication Expert Vinh Giang: Why You Keep Getting Interrupted (How to Use Your Voice So People ACTUALLY Listen)
Mon, 19 May 2025
Do you feel like people often cut you off when you're talking? When was the last time someone really listened to you? Today, Jay sits down with international keynote speaker and communication coach Vinh Giang for an inspiring conversation about building real confidence and finding your voice. Together, they dive into how the way we speak, and how we feel about speaking, isn’t something we’re born with, but a skill you build through experience, self-awareness, and practice. Vinh breaks down the myth that confident speakers are just born that way. Through his simple “four stages of competence” framework, he explains how with the right tools and consistent practice—anyone can become a powerful communicator, even if you’re naturally shy or introverted. It’s not about changing your personality; it’s about learning to manage your energy and use your voice with intention. Throughout the episode, Vinh shares easy, practical tips, like how to stop people from interrupting you in meetings, how to sound more confident, and how to use your voice to its full potential. One of the most touching parts of the conversation is when Vinh opens up about his father, a refugee who didn’t understand his career choice at first, but later became his biggest supporter. It’s a reminder that communication isn’t just about being heard, it’s also about understanding, connecting, and growing in every part of life. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Move from Shy to Confident with Communication How to Master the Four Stages of Speaking Competence How to Build Self-Awareness with the Record & Review Method How to Boost Vocal Presence and Authority Instantly How to Communicate Effectively as an Introvert How to Reframe “Fake” as “Unfamiliar” When Practicing New Skills Whether you’re a seasoned speaker, a reluctant communicator, or someone simply yearning to be heard, this episode will leave you feeling inspired, equipped, and encouraged to use your voice, not just to speak, but to be seen. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Unlock your exclusive gift from Vinh Giang, crafted just for the On Purpose community. Visit https://gifts.vinhgiang.com/jayshetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there! What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:29 Are You Struggling to Communicate Clearly? 02:13 The Path to Becoming a Confident Speaker 04:27 Do you have “Unconscious Incompetence?” 06:07 Change Your Habits, Change Your Confidence 08:40 A Simple Way to Build Self-Awareness 12:30 Why You Keep Getting Interrupted (and How to Stop It) 15:57 Why Communication Skills Are More Important Than Ever 19:01 Protecting Your Energy as an Introvert or Extrovert 23:21 How to Create a Routine That Helps You Perform at Your Best 26:25 Why You Cringe at the Sound of Your Own Voice 31:00 What Failure Teaches Us About Growth 35:31 How to Become a Natural Communicator 39:43 Why Mastering Communication Gives You True Freedom 44:49 Vinh’s Most Embarrassing Public Speaking Moment 47:53 Do Accents Hold You Back from Being Understood? 52:57 The Pen-in-Mouth Trick to Sharpen Your Speech 56:20 Don’t Just Learn the Tools, Own Them 59:36 How to Slow Down Your Speech Without Sounding Boring 01:04:45 It’s Not Just What You Say, It’s How People Hear It 01:07:40 Matching Energy: How to Meet People Where They Are 01:13:25 How to Show Up as the Bigger, Bolder Version of Yourself 01:16:02 Why Public Speaking Is Still the #1 Fear 01:18:00 How Filming Yourself Can Instantly Improve Your Speaking 01:25:07 What Makes Steve Jobs’ Speech So Powerful 01:28:35 Why We Sense When Someone Feels Inauthentic 01:34:06 Vinh on Final Five Episode Resources: Vinh Quang Giang | Website Vinh Quang Giang | Instagram Vinh Quang Giang | X Vinh Quang Giang | YouTube Vinh Quang Giang | LinkedIn Vinh Quang Giang | FacebookSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: How can I stop being interrupted during conversations?
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you take a deep breath and then continue speaking the reason people aren't comfortable with the pause is because they don't know what the pause is for right the pause allows people to process what you're saying think about it now listeners as you're listening to that the moment i paused you had a moment to process the things that i was saying do you want to be more charismatic communication there are two fundamental areas didn't that just seem really important
I was so bad at interactions with human beings. There was just a period of my life where I didn't understand what anybody was saying to me.
You're saying that everyone can go from being a shy, unconfident speaker to being a prolific speaker like yourself.
Being a confident communicator, that's just another series of behaviors that you can practice. So when people say, oh, I'm shy, I always say to them, oh, that's because you've been practicing the shy behaviors for the last 15, 20, 30, 40 years.
What are the top three things, the practical problems that people are coming to solve when they come to you? Vin Jiang is an award-winning entrepreneur, keynote speaker, podcast host, and communication coach who specializes in helping people master the art of confidently speaking.
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Chapter 2: What are the four stages of communication competence?
Chapter 3: How do I build self-awareness in my communication?
Oh, thank you, man. I love the way you do what you do. I love the effortlessness. I love the confidence you're giving people, the empowering ability you have to make people feel comfortable in their own skin, in their own voice. And I want to start by just asking you, like, what made you commit your life to helping people find their voice and find their confidence?
I always feel like the thing we end up doing in life tends to be something that had a massive impact on us when we were younger. I don't know if you find the same to be true. But for me, Manjay, when I was young, I was such a bad communicator. I was so bad at interactions with human beings. And the reason for that is because English is my third language.
So I grew up first learning a Chinese dialect called Di Jiu, and then I learned Vietnamese, and then I learned English. So there was just a period of my life where I didn't understand what anybody was saying to me, and I couldn't communicate with other people. So I just went through a period of life where I felt really isolated.
I didn't realize that I was doing it in my career, but as I learned how to communicate more effectively, became a professional speaker, all of this, I went, oh, wow, now I have this skill that I can teach other people. So the moment I just tried teaching it, I felt fulfillment and I never really felt that level of fulfillment before. that's when I decided, oh, wow, it's cool to do it yourself.
It's even cooler to help other people do it. And then that's kind of when I went all in with it and found so much fulfillment. And again, I'm sure you get this all the time, but it's the comments, the emails you get, and you're like, oh, wow, I'm doing something that matters. Whereas before I was a magician. So I did that for years.
And it feels weird to say it because I don't want to talk down on what magicians do. Not at all. It's just for me, the applause at times when I was doing magic, it felt really empty to me. Because I did it for so long and it started to feel a little bit empty. And then when I started teaching public speaking and communication skills, it felt full. It felt better. It felt more fulfilling.
From the way you're talking about it, you're saying that everyone can go from being a shy, insecure, unconfident speaker to being a prolific speaker like yourself.
Yes, because it's all just a series of behaviors. Everything you and I are doing right now, everything you see a great communicator do on stage, everything you see a great creator do on video, it's just a series of behaviors. The way you're moving your mouth, the way you're manipulating airflow, the way you're moving your hands, it's all just behaviors.
So when people say, oh, I'm shy, I always say to them, oh, that's because you've been practicing the shy behaviors for the last 15, 20, 30, 40 years. Being a confident communicator, that's just another series of behaviors that you can practice. And if you practice that for 10, 20, 30, you'd be a confident communicator, right?
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Chapter 4: What practical tips can help me sound more confident?
Four stages.
The four stages. The bottom stage is unconscious incompetence. When you are unconscious of your incompetence, you have no idea what you're doing wrong. You probably don't know that you um, ah, try and fill every pause, say like at the end of every sentence, whatever it may be. And we all have an unconscious incompetence, especially in the way we speak.
And that's when we have this mindset that you're saying where we think it's our voice, but actually it's just practice behaviors. And then above from that, which is what I love, this is what you do so phenomenally well when you're with your audiences is conscious incompetence. You're helping people become aware of how our body language, our voice, our tonality affects us.
And then above that, for everyone who doesn't know the model, is conscious competence. Correct. Where now you know why you move your hand that way and why you choose to lower your voice or lower your pitch or whatever it may be.
And that's kind of a frustrating part for people to be at stage three.
Right.
Because they go, I know it, but then I still have to think about it. So when they do it, it's really interesting because I see my students do this all the time where they go, hello, everybody. It's great to be here. And then they go, Vin, this feels so fake. It feels so phony. But I'm like, you have to go through that stage to get to stage four, which is unconscious competence, which is mastery.
Yes.
And a lot of people aren't willing to push through that because they go, no, it doesn't feel natural. So that means it's not right.
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Chapter 5: How do accents affect communication?
Chapter 6: Can introverts become better communicators?
Chapter 7: What is the role of energy in effective communication?
You're saying that everyone can go from being a shy, unconfident speaker to being a prolific speaker like yourself.
Being a confident communicator, that's just another series of behaviors that you can practice. So when people say, oh, I'm shy, I always say to them, oh, that's because you've been practicing the shy behaviors for the last 15, 20, 30, 40 years.
What are the top three things, the practical problems that people are coming to solve when they come to you? Vin Jiang is an award-winning entrepreneur, keynote speaker, podcast host, and communication coach who specializes in helping people master the art of confidently speaking.
With Vin's charisma and simple techniques, he transforms communication training into an engaging and unforgettable experience. Over the past decade, Vin has built a global audience, inspiring millions through social media and live events. Vin teaches individuals the tools to amplify their voice, command attention, and break through communication barriers. Welcome to the show, Vin Jiang.
Vin, it's so good to see you finally, man. I can't believe it's taken us this long to get together. I've been a fan for a very, very long time.
Thanks so much, man. It's kind of surreal sitting on your set.
Oh, thank you, man. I love the way you do what you do. I love the effortlessness. I love the confidence you're giving people, the empowering ability you have to make people feel comfortable in their own skin, in their own voice. And I want to start by just asking you, like, what made you commit your life to helping people find their voice and find their confidence?
I always feel like the thing we end up doing in life tends to be something that had a massive impact on us when we were younger. I don't know if you find the same to be true. But for me, Manjay, when I was young, I was such a bad communicator. I was so bad at interactions with human beings. And the reason for that is because English is my third language.
So I grew up first learning a Chinese dialect called Di Jiu, and then I learned Vietnamese, and then I learned English. So there was just a period of my life where I didn't understand what anybody was saying to me, and I couldn't communicate with other people. So I just went through a period of life where I felt really isolated.
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Chapter 8: Why is it important to practice public speaking?
Do you hear the passion if you're passionate about something? You'll take so many notes when you do this. What are your filler words, non-words? You get all of that down. Then the last step is get it transcribed. So once you transcribe it now, you can see the way you communicate in a completely different perspective. You might notice you speak in circles. I repeated the same thing four times.
What am I doing? And you'll see different things. If you just go through that process once, You'll get a list of five to 10 things. That's how you begin your journey of self-awareness. Yet people will resist that because it's too uncomfortable. They'll record it, but they won't watch it. But the ones that do, Jay, I immediately get a DM after. Shock.
I can't believe I do X. And it's crazy because I think of one of my students right now where he said, for six years, I've been held back in my career because my managers and my leaders say that I lack clarity, I lack authority, and I lack confidence. And he goes, and they give me this feedback, yet they don't tell me what I need to improve.
And do you know what I realized, Vin, through doing this recording review process? The one thing that has robbed me of six years of progress is my umming and ahhing. I can't believe umming and ahhing has held me back. And he was so frustrated. And I remember I had to tell him, I go, look, I get your frustration, but at least it didn't hold you back for 20 years. And you realized it now.
But something simple as umming and ahhing held him back for that long and destroyed his perception of being a great leader. It's kind of crazy.
Yeah, that's what I wanted to get to is that's the problem. I feel someone may see your work and they'll say, well, I don't want to be a public speaker. That's right. That's not the point. The point is there's a promotion that you're not getting because you don't have authority. Or the challenge is, you're not able to ask out the person on a date that you really want to take out on a date.
Like you don't feel that confidence. Or there's the challenge of you're in a team meeting and you feel like your voice is never heard. People always overlook your opinion. They don't hear you. What are some of those stories that you've heard of people that have had those types of challenges that are coming to you and saying exactly like the one you just told us.
They're like, oh Vin, this is actually solving a daily issue for me.
The big one, people keep interrupting me. not only do they not listen to my ideas, they interrupt me, and then my turn is gone now. And the idea that I was gonna share was one that was going to be able to change the course of the meeting, but because they interrupted me, Now I'm invisible and that keeps happening to me. And then when they ask me, they go, why do other people interrupt me?
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